WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000 music 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:10.000 Hey great thank you so again my 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:13.000 name is Hilda Djokotoe -- 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:16.000 I graduated from this program 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:19.000 in 2012 and -- 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.000 started work at the east Portland 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:25.000 branch of vocational rehabilitation so -- that's 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:27.000 where I've been since August 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:33.000 today not as some expert so 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:35.000 don't think I come here as an 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:39.000 expert I come here as one of you 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:42.000 because I see myself in you I 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:46.000 sat in your seat -- a few years 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:49.000 back and thankfully I can say 00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:52.000 I graduated and -- yes but 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:53.000 it was a good experience I'm 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:55.000 saying that to just make you 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:57.000 guys feel that if anybody is 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:59.000 experiencing anything right now 00:00:59.000 --> 00:00:61.000 in graduate school just know that 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:04.000 time is on your side and in no 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:07.000 time this will be over okay 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.000 laughter 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:12.000 okay alright I can relate so 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:14.000 I know I don't have the whole 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.000 hour I have about 45 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:19.000 minutes and I want to respect 00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:21.000 your guys' time so I want 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:24.000 to keep this as a conversation -- 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:26.000 so I will spend a few minutes 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:28.000 talking about myself giving 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:30.000 you a background about who I am 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:34.000 where I'm from why this accent 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:37.000 and why another Ghanaian might 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:38.000 see me and say where are you 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:43.000 from because I don't sound like 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:45.000 the typical Ghanaian person 00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:47.000 although I am from Ghana or 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:49.000 regionally how many people know 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:54.000 where Ghana is located on the map 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.000 thank you guys thank you 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:57.000 that's -- well some 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:61.000 people don't well it's -- 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:04.000 you and me both but I can tell 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:06.000 you where Ghana is so it's on 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.000 the west coast of Africa 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:09.000 and Ghana is about the size of 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:12.000 the state of Oregon but with a 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:14.000 population of depending on who 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:18.000 you ask 17 plus million 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.000 people -- although it sounds 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:23.000 like a crazy amount of people 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.000 in a small geographical area 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:26.000 like that giving that it's 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:28.000 about the size of the state 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:30.000 of Oregon you'll be surprised 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:32.000 how many people can fit in the 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.000 state of Oregon if we were to 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:37.000 open it up alright so that's 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:38.000 a little background about where 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:40.000 I'm from so that explains 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:42.000 where my accent is from -- 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:47.000 I came to Western Oregon University 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.000 I don't want to give 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:51.000 out my age but about 20 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:53.000 years ago I was a freshman 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:56.000 here at Western Oregon University 00:02:59.000 --> 00:02:61.000 freshman year I transferred 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:05.000 to OSU no offense 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.000 laughter 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:08.000 I transferred to OSU 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:09.000 and that's where I got my 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:11.000 bachelor's degree and after my 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.000 bachelor's degree I traveled -- I 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:16.000 listened to one of my professors 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.000 who said guys do me a favor 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.000 when you graduate I want you 00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:22.000 all to go out there find a 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:24.000 job experience the real world 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:26.000 before you do any more school 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.000 if you choose to do so and I 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:34.000 graduating I traveled to 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:36.000 England where I lived for 5 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:40.000 years -- and worked and that's 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:43.000 how I learned that I really 00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:45.000 enjoyed working with people 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:48.000 and not with numbers because 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:51.000 I graduated with a bachelor's 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:53.000 in business administration my 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:54.000 focus was going to become an 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:56.000 external auditor so I was going 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:59.000 for accounting -- I was good at it 00:03:59.000 --> 00:03:62.000 but I didn't realize how much 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.000 I was a people person until 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000 I was put in a position where 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000 I didn't have the opportunity 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.000 to work with people and so 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.000 when I started feeling a bit 00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:14.000 stressed I wanted to volunteer 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:17.000 my time to just feel like I 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:18.000 was getting some connection 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:20.000 and then I volunteered with 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.000 seniors who had dementia and 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:26.000 really enjoyed it so fast 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:28.000 forward I decided I needed to 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.000 get a credential that would put me 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:32.000 in a position for working with 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:35.000 people and so I came back to 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:37.000 Western Oregon University and 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.000 got my master's like you guys 00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:40.000 are doing and since then I've 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:45.000 been a rehabilitation counselor 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.000 but it is part of the process 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:49.000 for me alright so now let me 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.000 give you a little background 00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:55.000 about my experience as that girl 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:58.000 from Ghana who traveled to the 00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:62.000 west for the first time when I 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:05.000 arrived here before I arrived 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:08.000 here I thought everything I 00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:10.000 knew about America was what I 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:14.000 had seen on TV and so I was 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:17.000 shocked to see a dilapidated 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:22.000 car on the road from PDX or 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:24.000 Portland International Airport 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.000 home and I quite remember 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:27.000 asking the person who was 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:30.000 driving that do they drive these 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:33.000 here and he said yeah but he 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:37.000 didn't understand my question 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.000 and well I just let it go 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:41.000 and then another time I see 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.000 a panhandler and I'm thinking 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.000 but I thought panhandlers 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:50.000 only belong to Africa the way 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:53.000 people say so how come there 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.000 are hungry people in America 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:58.000 so that was the beginning of me 00:05:58.000 --> 00:05:60.000 having that internal dialogue 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.000 to try to rewrite most of the 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:07.000 assumptions I had about America 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:08.000 because all I knew about 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.000 America was on TV and 00:06:11.000 --> 00:06:14.000 western movies so I also 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:15.000 thought everybody in America 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.000 owned a gun and if you looked 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:19.000 at somebody the wrong way 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:22.000 you got shot that's all I 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:26.000 knew about America but it took 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:28.000 my own personal experience 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.000 to really force me to take 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:32.000 a look at myself again and 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:35.000 to try to figure out all the 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:38.000 socialization messages 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.000 that I got about people 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:45.000 especially about the west 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:47.000 my own experience on campus I 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.000 remember as a freshman I was 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:53.000 that big and -- International 00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.000 Students Office at the time 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:56.000 was in Todd Hall I think 00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:60.000 it is -- I walked into the 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:02.000 International Students Director 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:06.000 and I overhear her yelling to 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:10.000 her assistant that gosh I don't 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.000 understand why Africans just 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:14.000 don't do things right and I 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:17.000 thought what did I hear right 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:19.000 so I went to her and I said did 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:22.000 you just say what you said 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:23.000 and I said and by the way you 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.000 the assistant your my witness 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.000 I didn't even know what I was 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:29.000 doing I just knew -- I wasn't 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:32.000 going to just hear that and do 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.000 nothing about it but I didn't 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:37.000 realize that issue of race at 00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:39.000 all in America because where 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:41.000 I was coming from you were 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:42.000 not known by the color of your 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:45.000 skin you were not described 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:46.000 by the color of your skin 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:49.000 you were just you so the word 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:52.000 racism itself was foreign to me 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:55.000 I didn't know that so anyway 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.000 when that happened I said well 00:07:58.000 --> 00:07:59.000 at least one African did it 00:07:59.000 --> 00:07:62.000 right that's why I'm here and 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.000 I recall she said well but your 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:07.000 sisters taught you and by the way 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.000 I do have two older sisters one 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.000 is a professor here on campus 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:13.000 and another lives somewhere 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.000 in Washington so they went 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:18.000 here before I came and so the 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:20.000 International Student Director 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:22.000 wanted to justify what she 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.000 had just said to me and even 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:27.000 say that well your sisters taught 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:29.000 you and I said but my sisters 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:33.000 are African so if an African 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:35.000 was able to teach me to do 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:36.000 something right then it's 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:39.000 again that at least one African 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:42.000 knows how to do something right 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:44.000 so I didn't leave it there and 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.000 I promised that I was going to 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.000 talk to the provost so on my 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:52.000 way -- out you know the computer 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:53.000 lab was in one of those 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:56.000 small small buildings so I was 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:57.000 just minding my business going 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:59.000 to the computer lab to check my 00:08:59.000 --> 00:08:61.000 email I wasn't going to go to 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.000 the provost just yet but -- I 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:05.000 promised I would -- and I was 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.000 going to do it so I got to the 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.000 computer lab logged on to check 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:12.000 my email and there's some other 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:15.000 email from her she wanted me 00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:19.000 to come back and I don't know 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:22.000 if she was bribing me but she 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:25.000 said there was a scholarship 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:27.000 opportunity for people in my 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:30.000 position and I was an excellent 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:32.000 student according to her and 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.000 she wanted them to give me 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.000 a scholarship and I thought 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.000 you're not paying me to be 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:41.000 quiet are you and she said no she 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:43.000 really means it and to this 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:45.000 day this International Student 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:49.000 Director is my friend we moved 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:52.000 from that point to being friends 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:54.000 and we've been friends for 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:55.000 close to 20 years 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:60.000 now I say this not to say that 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.000 people who are in positions 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:06.000 of power are perfect we all 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:08.000 aren't perfect but you are all 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:10.000 training to someday become 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:14.000 leaders and people who have 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:16.000 so much power over other 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:17.000 people who will be coming 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:20.000 to seek services from you so 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:22.000 I say this so that you have 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.000 in mind that you need to be 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:26.000 mindful of the words that come 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.000 out of your mouth alright 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:34.000 so from that -- that was the 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:36.000 beginning that somebody well 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000 I was complaining to somebody 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:38.000 and the person said that 00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.000 is racist and I said what is 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:43.000 racist and she explained to me 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:47.000 what it meant so that was my 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:51.000 introduction to racism if at 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:55.000 all so fast forward I become 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:58.000 a counselor right in my office 00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:60.000 and -- I'm going to only share 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:01.000 my counseling experience 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:03.000 because I'm assuming you are 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:04.000 all going to become counselors 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:07.000 someday so when that 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:10.000 experience and many many many 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:14.000 more experiences it shaped me 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:17.000 to become an advocate naturally 00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:19.000 because I understand how it 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:22.000 feels to be marginalized for 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:25.000 no fault of yours and we all 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:27.000 understand that we live in a 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.000 world where there's diversity 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:32.000 everywhere you turn people 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:35.000 cannot be known as the color 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:38.000 of their skin so as 00:11:38.000 --> 00:11:41.000 an African girl let me not 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.000 use African girl because 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:43.000 I'm perpetuating the same 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:45.000 stuff that I think that I 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:47.000 fought against so as an 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:49.000 individual who migrated 00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:51.000 from Ghana I couldn't even 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:54.000 tell you that I -- 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:58.000 understand everything it is 00:11:58.000 --> 00:11:60.000 to be about you know -- what 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:02.000 what it means to be Ghanaian 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:06.000 let alone refer to myself as 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:08.000 an African although yes I am 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:09.000 an African because Ghana is 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:11.000 located on the continent of 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:13.000 Africa alright so why do I say 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:16.000 this I say this because -- 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.000 coming from Ghana my identity 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.000 was Hilda and I could only 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:26.000 relate or identify as a tribe 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:29.000 so my tribe was my identity in 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:32.000 Ghana stepping out of Ghana 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:34.000 I thought the only identity I 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:35.000 was going to carry was going 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:38.000 to be -- Hilda that 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.000 God made so I was going to now 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:43.000 be referred to as the Ghanaian 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:44.000 rather than be referred to as 00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:46.000 this person who comes from this 00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:49.000 tribe little that I know 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.000 that just by stepping foot in 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:55.000 America I was going to assume 00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:57.000 another identity which is 00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:62.000 African and then black girl or 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:04.000 black woman whatever you call 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:06.000 it so now I have an identity here 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:09.000 for an African and I don't 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:11.000 speak African because Africa 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:14.000 is a continent -- a continent but 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:16.000 I'm supposed to be the face of 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:18.000 it and anytime somebody talks 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:21.000 about Africa they turn around 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:23.000 as if I was an expert of 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:25.000 Africa and I go by the way 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:28.000 I don't speak African Africa 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:30.000 is not a country it's a whole 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:35.000 continent so in my office now 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:38.000 as a rehab counselor we 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.000 serve people from all walks of 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:41.000 life and when we talk about 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:43.000 diversity I hope we're not 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:46.000 limiting it to just skin color 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:50.000 because we do have so many 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.000 variations of -- you know you 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:54.000 count married people single 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.000 people heterosexuals -- -- 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.000 homosexual whatever -- you 00:13:58.000 --> 00:13:62.000 know so many things that is 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:05.000 difficult to box people into 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.000 one identity because we are 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:11.000 more complex than that so 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:13.000 in my office I remember the 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:14.000 beginning of my time as a 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:18.000 rehab counselor one of the 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:20.000 counselors who is my best 00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:23.000 friend thought that anytime 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:25.000 somebody came to her who was 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:30.000 black she needed to get one 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:33.000 of their kind to show them 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:35.000 that hey we have one of your 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:40.000 kind here so we are good people 00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:43.000 it might sound bad the way 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:45.000 I'm saying it but we do those 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:48.000 things without even realizing 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:50.000 that that is aggressive 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:51.000 we talk about micro 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:53.000 aggression right we don't 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:54.000 realize that those things are 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:58.000 aggressive but we just say it 00:14:58.000 --> 00:14:61.000 and walk away thinking oh I'm 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.000 just trying to make my client 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.000 feel welcomed but what does 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.000 that make me does that mean 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:10.000 I'm just here as that token so 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.000 that you know everybody can 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.000 wave that around and say we 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:15.000 have one of your kind here so 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:18.000 we're friendly to your kind so 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.000 I waited and had a client who 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:25.000 was lesbian so I walked to her 00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:28.000 office and I go do you want 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:30.000 to come and meet my client and 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.000 she goes oh yeah I said oh 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.000 by the way she's lesbian she might 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:35.000 feel good that you're here 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:39.000 laughter 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:41.000 and she looked at me in horror 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:44.000 and I said oh hey that is how I 00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:48.000 feel anytime you parade me -- 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:49.000 around your clients who are 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:52.000 black so if you think that's 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.000 a problem for me to come 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.000 get you to come and meet my 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.000 lesbian client then you know 00:15:58.000 --> 00:15:59.000 there's a problem if you 00:15:59.000 --> 00:15:61.000 come and call me to come and 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:03.000 meet your black clients and 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:06.000 that has never happened again 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.000 right another thing that I 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:11.000 would want to emphasize before 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:13.000 I open this up for questions 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:14.000 and answers because -- this 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:17.000 is so informal another thing 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:20.000 I want to emphasize is that 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:25.000 sometimes we I say we or 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:27.000 people in my position might 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.000 feel why is everybody looking 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.000 at me when they talk about 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:32.000 black people or why do people 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:33.000 look at me when they talk 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:34.000 about Africans and all that 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:36.000 stuff now I welcome those 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:42.000 things because I find that 00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.000 understanding the context and 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:46.000 the intent is more important to 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:50.000 me now than what somebody says 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:51.000 so normally when somebody makes 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:55.000 a comment that I find offensive 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.000 I first tell myself Hilda 00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:59.000 breathe and just calm down this 00:16:59.000 --> 00:16:62.000 is an opportunity to educate so 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.000 then I ask them why exactly 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.000 did you say that and sometimes 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:09.000 they'll give you a reason that 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:11.000 is so not true because they 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:13.000 realize that nobody wants to 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:17.000 own being labeled us racist 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:19.000 or you know ignorant or something 00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.000 so when I say I'm curious 00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:23.000 would you be able to tell me 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:25.000 why you're saying what you're 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:28.000 saying and most of the time 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:29.000 they either keep quiet and 00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:32.000 later on apologize or they'll 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.000 give me a reason that doesn't 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:37.000 make sense but they don't repeat it 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:40.000 so in my opinion I -- my 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.000 mission has been accomplished 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:47.000 so I don't want to keep talking 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:48.000 but I want to invite you guys 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:51.000 to you know think about any 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:52.000 questions you want to know 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:55.000 you want to ask me and -- 00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:57.000 this is very -- I want to 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:58.000 give you the permission to 00:17:58.000 --> 00:17:59.000 ask any question you want to 00:17:59.000 --> 00:17:61.000 ask don't think you'll offend 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:04.000 me at all so the question 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:05.000 is whether I've experienced any 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:07.000 micro aggression towards me 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:11.000 and the answer is yes I can cite 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:16.000 one example where -- one of my 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.000 supervisors got a complaint 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.000 from a client meaning the 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.000 people we serve one of my supervisors 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:28.000 get a complaint and she came 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:33.000 to me and -- in my opinion 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:36.000 what she did was more to come 00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:38.000 to interrogate me so she came 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:39.000 to me wanting to know what I 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:42.000 said how I said it wanting me to 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:46.000 repeat exactly what I said so 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:48.000 that she could make a decision 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:50.000 whether what I said was wrong 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:52.000 right or wrong that was my 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:53.000 interpretation of the reason 00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:55.000 she was asking me to repeat 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:60.000 exactly what I said so I said 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:02.000 if you expected me to repeat 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.000 exactly what I said so that you 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.000 can make a determination whether 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:08.000 what I said to the client was 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:11.000 right or wrong then I'm sorry 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:13.000 I won't give you that and I 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:16.000 want to quickly remind you that 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:19.000 I graduated with a master's 00:19:19.000 --> 00:19:21.000 degree from Western Oregon University 00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.000 which -- the last 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:25.000 time I checked English is the 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:28.000 language they speak over there 00:19:28.000 --> 00:19:31.000 I sat in class I did the work 00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:32.000 and I got the credentials so 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:34.000 I assume if I have the ability 00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:36.000 to study and get a master's 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:39.000 degree that I have a command 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:40.000 over the English language to 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:42.000 be able to communicate with 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:44.000 somebody knowing the right 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.000 words to use so I'm sorry I'm 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:47.000 not going to repeat exactly 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:52.000 what I said and to add to it 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.000 your -- I just pointed to her 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.000 and I said your -- the way you 00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:59.000 are approaching me and your 00:19:59.000 --> 00:19:62.000 style of questioning makes me 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.000 feel like I'm in a jail cell 00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:06.000 somewhere being interviewed by 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:08.000 a police officer because this 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:09.000 is the kind of behavior you 00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:12.000 expect to see when a criminal 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:15.000 is arrested not when you have 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:17.000 an individual who has the best 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:20.000 interest of clients in mind 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.000 and even if I did something 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:24.000 wrong you know that I did it 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:27.000 with the best -- interest of 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:29.000 the client in mind so you've 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:32.000 got to come from that direction 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:35.000 and even if you had anything to 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:43.000 matters more than any word 00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:44.000 that's coming out of your mouth 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:45.000 and she said no that's not 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.000 what I meant I said no English 00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:49.000 is not my first language but 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:50.000 I can analyze English to 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.000 you I think better than most 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.000 English speaking people in 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:57.000 my office that I can tell you 00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:60.000 and she goes alright Hilda -- 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:02.000 I mean I really didn't mean it 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.000 to be this way but I can see 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.000 how it came across to you so 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:09.000 yes if you are saying if I've 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:11.000 experienced micro aggression 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:13.000 I have and I still do only 00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:16.000 yesterday I had a client who 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.000 came with their family and 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:23.000 these -- middle aged Caucasian 00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:26.000 American people and their son is 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:27.000 about 40 years old and I'm 00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:32.000 not using names -- so they came 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:36.000 and -- the whole time I went to 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:37.000 greet them and bring them back 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.000 to my office I had this feeling 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.000 of you know sometimes people 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.000 look at you and you can almost 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:46.000 feel like it's a condescending 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:49.000 way of evaluating you 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.000 to see if the name on the 00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:54.000 card belongs to this one and 00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:56.000 I didn't realize I was coming 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:59.000 to her that's my interpretation 00:21:59.000 --> 00:21:61.000 but then the whole time I kept 00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:03.000 telling myself just calm down 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:05.000 go on and do what you need to 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:07.000 do so we go to my office and 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:10.000 we're talking and every time 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.000 I say something they would 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:14.000 ask me again to repeat what I 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:18.000 said and you all know they're 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:21.000 trying to tell me that I have 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:24.000 an accent that they cannot hear 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:25.000 and I don't need to know that 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.000 because I already know I'm the 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:27.000 one who has the accent so you 00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:30.000 don't need to tell me right 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:31.000 and by the way as far as I'm 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:33.000 concerned everybody has an 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:37.000 accent to my ears you all do okay 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:39.000 so -- anyway we sit there and 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:42.000 then after they asked me those 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:45.000 questions -- the father went 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.000 ahead and grabbed my card and said hmm 00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:50.000 how do you say your name and 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:53.000 I said Hilda Djokotoe and 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:57.000 he said oh the D is silent and I said yes 00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:61.000 so he goes ahead and says so where 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:02.000 are you from and I said I'm 00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:06.000 from Portland and he goes no I 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:08.000 mean where are you originally 00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:11.000 from I said oh you mean my 00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:14.000 country of birth or my country 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:17.000 of citizenship which one so he 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:19.000 said oh your country of birth 00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:22.000 and I said Ghana and I migrated 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:25.000 to America -- 20 something 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:27.000 years ago so then I turn 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:28.000 around and I said and where 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:31.000 are you from and then he goes 00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:35.000 me I said yeah where are you 00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:37.000 from he said here referring to 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:39.000 Portland and I said are you 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:44.000 Native American and he goes no 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:50.000 laughter 00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:57.000 I'm sorry 00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:59.000 so I said oh are you Native American 00:23:59.000 --> 00:23:62.000 and he said no and 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:04.000 I said so where are you from 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:07.000 he goes well I don't know I 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:09.000 guess my ancestors are from 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:10.000 Europe and I said yeah so 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:13.000 you're European and you migrated 00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:15.000 to America or maybe 00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:16.000 generations past migrated 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:18.000 to America and he said yes 00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:20.000 said it would be a good 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.000 homework for you to figure 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:27.000 out where exactly you're from 00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:31.000 so while we meet next time 00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:32.000 maybe you want to share where 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:35.000 you're from he said okay and 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.000 from that conversation on 00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:40.000 the -- tone 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.000 and everything just changed 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:44.000 and it became a conversation 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:48.000 between two adults -- with 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.000 respect I'd say so I think 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:54.000 the story has touched on so 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:57.000 many little things I don't 00:24:57.000 --> 00:24:59.000 take those -- for granted 00:24:59.000 --> 00:24:61.000 I always feel like as a -- 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:03.000 a woman a black woman who 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:06.000 speaks with an accent who is a 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:09.000 because I know everybody 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:11.000 is an immigrant except for the 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:14.000 Natives so I migrated in 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.000 the 21st century the 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:18.000 only difference between me and 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:22.000 anybody else is time so I 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.000 don't call myself an immigrant 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:26.000 if I do then I'm considering 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:28.000 the person I'm talking to 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.000 unless if they are Native that they are 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:32.000 also immigrants so that's how 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:33.000 I look at it 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:36.000 so the question is 00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:38.000 how do I work with individuals 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.000 who may share different values 00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:43.000 than mine and to what extent 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:47.000 will I allow that difference to 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:49.000 maybe cause whatever issues 00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:50.000 in the relationship before I 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.000 say enough alright so can 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.000 I use an example to tell you 00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.000 what okay so I had this client 00:25:59.000 --> 00:25:63.000 who didn't like black people 00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:06.000 as she didn't like immigrants 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:08.000 she didn't like gays she didn't 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:12.000 like Catholic people she had 00:26:12.000 --> 00:26:14.000 a long list of people she didn't 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.000 like so when we sat down 00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:21.000 to talk I said well I hear 00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:23.000 you have a long list of things 00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:26.000 you don't like but I'm afraid 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:29.000 I check a lot of those boxes 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:32.000 and so you have the freedom 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.000 to work with somebody else 00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:36.000 other than me and I take it -- 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:37.000 I don't take it personally at 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:40.000 all so she insisted she wanted 00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:42.000 to work with me and I said I 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.000 do have rules though when -- 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:47.000 when I work with people my 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:49.000 job is to do my very best to 00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:51.000 treat everybody with all the 00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:53.000 dignity and respect that they 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:57.000 deserve and I take no less so 00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:60.000 as long as she can work with 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.000 that then I'm happy for us to 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:06.000 work together so we start 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.000 working and boy I thought I 00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.000 had patience but it was really 00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.000 running out because every time 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:16.000 she would say something that 00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:21.000 was so under the skin that 00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:23.000 I always wanted to explain 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:25.000 a way that oh she has cognitive 00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:27.000 issues and you know it's 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:29.000 okay and it got to a point I 00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:31.000 at one meeting I just said 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:34.000 time out don't let the door 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:37.000 hit you from behind and she 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:39.000 is like what I said you know 00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:42.000 what I've had it you have the 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.000 right to be served and I think 00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.000 I also have the right to feel 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.000 respected in this relationship 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:52.000 so since that is not going to 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:56.000 be happening I expect you to 00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:58.000 leave my office right now and 00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:62.000 call my supervisor so she did 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:06.000 the question is how -- 00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:08.000 a professional I don't want to 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.000 say -- how a professional or somebody 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:13.000 can approach somebody of a 00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:15.000 different culture different 00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:17.000 background to learn from them 00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:20.000 without appearing ignorant you 00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:23.000 know I think the word ignorant 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:27.000 has been given a negative 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:32.000 spin that words just the 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.000 way they exist in the English 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.000 dictionary because there are so 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:38.000 many dictionaries words just the 00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:40.000 way that it exists in the English 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.000 dictionary have lost their 00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:45.000 meaning and now they carry a 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.000 whole lot of meanings that 00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:51.000 the word did not intend for it 00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:53.000 to be but because we live in a 00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:56.000 society where people cannot be 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:59.000 genuine or authentic -- because 00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:61.000 everybody's trying to act a 00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:03.000 certain way to portray what 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:06.000 they're not or what they think 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:08.000 is the ideal image they need 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:11.000 to put out there so for you if 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:14.000 that were the -- case I will 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.000 approach somebody and say you 00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:17.000 know I'm curious I really want 00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.000 to learn and please excuse me 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:24.000 if my questioning comes across 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:27.000 any way that you know you 00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.000 might feel disrespected or you 00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.000 might feel that I'm ignorant 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:33.000 and ignorance is not a bad 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:34.000 thing I'm ignorant of so many 00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:39.000 things everyday I learn so 00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:41.000 that would be the best 00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:43.000 approach in my opinion I've had 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:45.000 people come to me wanting to 00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:48.000 understand my culture or if 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.000 they had a client coming 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.000 in from Africa and I roll 00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:54.000 my eyes about Africa because 00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:57.000 Africa is not a country but 00:29:57.000 --> 00:29:60.000 you know if they want to get 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.000 something from -- maybe talk 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:05.000 about something with me before 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:06.000 they see their clients so that 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:07.000 they are doing everything they 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.000 can to feel like they are 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:12.000 respecting the client's culture 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:14.000 and background and values we 00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:16.000 talk I just say be yourself as 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:18.000 long as you -- you are making 00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:20.000 the person feel respected and 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:21.000 you are being curious with 00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:23.000 your questions without assuming 00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:25.000 things that's all you can do 00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:28.000 I'm not an expert and I cannot 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:30.000 even claim to be an expert of 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:33.000 myself let alone be an expert 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.000 of the whole culture and a 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:38.000 whole race I cannot claim that 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:42.000 and nobody can but we need to 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:45.000 move away from the media and 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:47.000 how they spin issues to make 00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:50.000 everybody you know everybody's 00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.000 walking on pins and needles 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:54.000 because you are afraid to use 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:56.000 certain words if you form 00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:58.000 genuine relationships with 00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:60.000 people I'm sure they know the 00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:02.000 context they know where it is coming 00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:04.000 they know the intent and 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:05.000 those are the two things that 00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:08.000 matter to me intent and context 00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.000 because if you take anything 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:13.000 outside of that it might lose 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:16.000 the meaning so yeah if -- I 00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:18.000 can sense a genuine interest 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:19.000 in knowing I don't have a 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:21.000 problem sharing at all 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:23.000 I personally 00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:25.000 live by the principles 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:28.000 of Solution-Focused -- I tend 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:32.000 to not want to focus on okay I 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:34.000 don't want to use -- I need her 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:37.000 to repeat the question right 00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:39.000 okay so what -- she wants to 00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:41.000 know what my counseling style 00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:44.000 is correct alright so my 00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:46.000 counseling style so it's based 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:48.000 on Solution-Focused that is just 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:54.000 because I live by the Solution-Focused tenets myself and 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:58.000 I believe -- for counseling if 00:31:58.000 --> 00:31:60.000 you are practicing counseling 00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:02.000 outside of yourself and 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.000 using technique outside of 00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:08.000 yourself it tends to me it 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.000 feels condescending so it's 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:13.000 almost as though you have this 00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:16.000 instructional manual right here 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:18.000 and hey I'm applying cognitive 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:21.000 behavior therapy you know 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:23.000 that's how it feels to me 00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:26.000 but when you believe in -- 00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:29.000 a counseling theory because 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.000 it speaks to you something in 00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:34.000 your core you do it without 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:37.000 even thinking about technique 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:38.000 and so naturally you come 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:40.000 across that way so for 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:45.000 Solution-Focused you know they cut all 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.000 the -- not gonna use the word -- but they cut 00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.000 laughter 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:53.000 they cut all of those things 00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:55.000 out and then you just focus on 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:57.000 what you want to do nobody's 00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:58.000 talking about what they don't 00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:60.000 want to do and what happened 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:02.000 in the past and you know we're 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:05.000 talking about what we want and 00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:07.000 how to channel our energy and all 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.000 our efforts on to getting what 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:11.000 we want so I like Solution-Focused 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.000 for that reason and I 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:15.000 didn't realize I was practicing 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:17.000 Solution-Focused until I came 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:18.000 to this program and learned 00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:22.000 oh it really has a name yeah 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.000 that has always been my 00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:26.000 way of life 00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:28.000 so the question is 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:32.000 the difference between England 00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.000 and the US which -- society or 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.000 community is more accepting of 00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:41.000 difference alright and I can 00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:43.000 only speak from a black person's 00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:45.000 perspective because I realize 00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:47.000 there are so many different 00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:49.000 stuff I don't claim to know 00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:51.000 any of those because I have 00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:52.000 never walked a day in those 00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:56.000 shoes but I've walked oh I'm 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:60.000 no going to say my age I've walked 00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.000 so many years so many decades 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:05.000 in my shoes alright so for 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.000 England when I got there somehow 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:11.000 the English people that I 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:14.000 worked with didn't see me as an 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:19.000 African they saw me as somebody 00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:21.000 who had traveled and graduated 00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:23.000 from -- from an American 00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:26.000 institution so OSU became 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:30.000 my identity rather than Hilda 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.000 from Ghana and so while I had other 00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:39.000 Africans in the same office 00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:41.000 I always experienced -- 00:34:41.000 --> 00:34:44.000 they treated me better 00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.000 than they treated my 00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:49.000 African sisters and brothers 00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:52.000 because somehow they could 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:53.000 relate with me that -- my 00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:55.000 degree was from an American 00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:58.000 institution I don't know so 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:61.000 America was rather the identity 00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:03.000 they gave me and so they 00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:06.000 treated me more like an African American 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.000 then an African and 00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:09.000 then they treated the 00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:15.000 Africans not so good -- but 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:18.000 then in America I cannot say 00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.000 that you know some people have 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:24.000 been great to me some people 00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:26.000 have been so mean I thought 00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:30.000 they were the devil so it's 00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:33.000 very difficult to say but at 00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:35.000 least in England if they didn't 00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:37.000 like you for whatever reason 00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:40.000 they said it to your face so 00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:41.000 you knew this person didn't 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:43.000 like you you didn't turn 00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:44.000 around and got stabbed in your back 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:47.000 no but my experience over 00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.000 here has been you find people 00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:55.000 smile at you and yet so nice 00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:57.000 to you right here and then 00:35:57.000 --> 00:35:60.000 you turn around and what they 00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:02.000 do is like what that's not 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:06.000 the same person but they are so 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:08.000 England if you -- it's 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:09.000 right there in your face and I will 00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:11.000 choose that instead of you 00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:12.000 know I don't want anybody to 00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:15.000 sugar coat anything for me so 00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:18.000 for my personal experience in 00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.000 England it there was more you know 00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:24.000 because I saw it in America 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:25.000 I have to guess what people are 00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:28.000 thinking but I don't know if 00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:30.000 that is everybody's experience 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:37.000 that was my experience 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:40.000 see that's what it is alright 00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:43.000 so as a counselor what 00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:45.000 stigmas have I encountered 00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.000 alright so -- 00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:49.000 as a minority 00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:52.000 as a -- yes thank you as a 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:55.000 minority counselor what kind 00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:57.000 of stigmas have I experienced 00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:60.000 I've experienced alright I've 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.000 had somebody who wanted me to 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:10.000 do the sounds of Lion King 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:12.000 and I turn 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:16.000 around and I go what? 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:21.000 and this person isn't 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:23.000 how should I put it alright 00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:25.000 this person is also -- 00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.000 an immigrant generations 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:33.000 past so so I ask them 00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.000 noises you your ancestors 00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:38.000 had when they went on the 00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:42.000 boat from Ireland to here 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:46.000 and he goes no I was expecting 00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:47.000 you to you know and I said well 00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:50.000 I don't know does that make 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:53.000 sense so yeah stigmas sometimes 00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:56.000 you almost have to turn it back 00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:60.000 on them to get people to like 00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:02.000 it sinks in and they go oh 00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:06.000 I'm so sorry I didn't realize 00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:08.000 this was an issue and then any 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:11.000 time I don't watch TV by the 00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:13.000 way but any time there's something 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.000 on TV although I don't watch 00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:18.000 it I hear it because when there's 00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:21.000 a shooting people automatically 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:25.000 assume that I am the expert 00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:26.000 that they need to come to to 00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000 talk about a black person being 00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:31.000 shot and I'm thinking I don't 00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:34.000 know I cannot relate or 00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:41.000 stuff when we're talking 00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:44.000 about our clients anytime they 00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:46.000 start bringing up people who 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.000 live on government assistance 00:38:49.000 --> 00:38:52.000 it's like I have something 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:53.000 to say about it because my 00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:57.000 people are the ones who benefit 00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:59.000 from this resource more but 00:38:59.000 --> 00:38:62.000 that's not true it's rather 00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:07.000 that ignorance so if somebody 00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:09.000 lacks knowledge that's ignorance it 00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:11.000 doesn't mean a negative thing 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:13.000 I'm just stating fact that 00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:15.000 they act ignorant because they 00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:18.000 don't know so I experience 00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:24.000 those things a whole lot yeah 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:27.000 yeah but now I have to say 00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:33.000 been wonderful people a lot 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:35.000 of people now know where they 00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:38.000 come from originally -- so 00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:41.000 we don't refer to immigrants 00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:43.000 the same way anymore because 00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:46.000 we realize we all are except 00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:48.000 one person who is Native American 00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:52.000 say please don't send us home 00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:57.000 laughter 00:39:57.000 --> 00:39:58.000 yeah please don't send us 00:39:58.000 --> 00:39:60.000 home because if they want 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.000 they will let us go 00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:04.000 how do I advocate for people I tend to 00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:08.000 want to help people realize 00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:10.000 their own strength and find 00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.000 their own voice and use it because 00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:16.000 as an African -- I shouldn't 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:18.000 be saying -- as a black woman 00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:21.000 in America I've had instances 00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:23.000 where people who were so well 00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:26.000 meaning will reach in to try 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:29.000 to advocate on my behalf 00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:30.000 and that in itself 00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:32.000 can be a little condescending 00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:34.000 because it feels like the 00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:37.000 person is saying you poor 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:40.000 thing you don't have a voice 00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:41.000 but I have a voice and I feel 00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:42.000 passionate about your cause 00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:44.000 and I'm going to advocate 00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:47.000 for you that in itself too is 00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:49.000 demeaning and it's insulting 00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:52.000 just as -- whatever the 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:53.000 person might be experiencing 00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:56.000 so I am an advocate for 00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:58.000 helping people find the voice 00:40:58.000 --> 00:40:59.000 in themselves to advocate 00:40:59.000 --> 00:40:61.000 for themselves sometimes some 00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:03.000 people no matter what you 00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.000 do they can never find that 00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:07.000 voice then speak up for them 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:08.000 and especially anybody who 00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:11.000 sees themselves as a white 00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:13.000 and I'm using that because I don't 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.000 know if this appear white 00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.000 person can help me understand I 00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:20.000 don't know because I'm black 00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.000 especially people who are 00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:27.000 in a position of power if it 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:28.000 doesn't cost you anything to 00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:30.000 speak up and you choose not 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:36.000 to speak up that's a problem 00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:37.000 because it doesn't cost you 00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:40.000 to speak up and you are seen 00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:43.000 as the people in the dominant 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:45.000 group the people who wield 00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:48.000 all the power and so if 00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:52.000 it won't cost you anything 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:54.000 well if it's free speak up 00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:58.000 for causes that mean something 00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:60.000 because sometimes another white 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:03.000 person might hear the -- you 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:06.000 know a white person different 00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:09.000 than if they've heard the 00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:10.000 comment coming from somebody 00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:12.000 who they don't consider to 00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.000 be the same race because it 00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:17.000 might land as a complaint 00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:19.000 and not as a genuine you know 00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:22.000 call to action so I have a 00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:26.000 lot of allies I think and 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:30.000 the are not black I don't 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:33.000 mean to let anybody feel bad 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:36.000 about themselves I just want 00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.000 this to start a conversation 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.000 so that hopefully we can all 00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:42.000 learn about ourselves we can 00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:44.000 all learn about the biases 00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:46.000 that we bring because we all 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:48.000 were socialized a certain 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:52.000 way so -- for me I just 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.000 always want to put that mirror 00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:57.000 in my face to ask myself some 00:42:57.000 --> 00:42:59.000 of the difficult questions 00:42:59.000 --> 00:42:60.000 that I may not be able to 00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:02.000 process when there's a second 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:04.000 person around because whether 00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:06.000 I like it or not I also have 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:09.000 biases -- about people who 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:10.000 are different from me and 00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.000 it's a constant learning and 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:14.000 constant dialogue you know to 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:19.000 change my thinking so I'm just 00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:20.000 sharing my personal experience 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000 in hopes that somebody might 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:25.000 pick up something from it 00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:27.000 and make another person's 00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:28.000 life a little bit easier 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:29.000 music