WEBVTT 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:10.000 it is my pleasure to 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:13.000 introduce Ms. Catherine Jones 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:15.000 we are so grateful to have 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:17.000 her here on campus 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:20.000 Catherine has been a member 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:21.000 of the Campaign for the Fair 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:24.000 Sentencing of Youth since 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.000 this year and she serves on 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:29.000 the Incarcerated Children's 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:32.000 Advocacy Network so in our 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:34.000 juvenile justice class -- we 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:36.000 have discussed how juveniles 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:38.000 were transferred to the adult 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:41.000 hold and how they are treated 00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:44.000 in the adult penitentiary -- 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:46.000 and also we have discussed 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.000 differences between juveniles 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:52.000 and adults and -- how justice 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:54.000 should be brought I don't want 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:58.000 to give you any spoilers but 00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.000 Catherine has gone through the 00:00:59.000 --> 00:00:62.000 adult system and she will share 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:05.000 her experiences with us today 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:13.000 so please welcome Catherine - applause 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.000 good morning -- as the professor 00:01:16.000 --> 00:01:18.000 said my name's Catherine 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:21.000 Jones and -- when I was first 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:24.000 invited to come and speak here 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:27.000 limit was almost two hours 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000 I was thinking like I'm not 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:30.000 that interesting right for two 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:32.000 hours to keep your attention 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:34.000 so what I wanted to do was 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.000 make this a dialogue because 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:37.000 this isn't just about me this 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:39.000 is about you because each and 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:40.000 everyone of you guys are going 00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:42.000 to have a foot print to the 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:44.000 future of all the generations 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:47.000 behind you right all of you 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:49.000 guys are criminal justice 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:52.000 students - no - what - 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:56.000 middle school education same thing 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:59.000 and I'm gonna show you the link between 00:01:59.000 --> 00:01:61.000 the two and I just want to 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:03.000 ask a quick question what 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:06.000 does juvenile justice mean 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.000 does anybody have a definition what 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:10.000 what does juvenile justice look like 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:15.000 speaker waits for audience to answer 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.000 no - so we're in a juvenile 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:20.000 justice class and nobody 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:24.000 and nobody know what juvenile justice looks like 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:25.000 hopefully by the end of the 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000 class when I ask that question 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:31.000 I will have a better answer so 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:35.000 today is what the realities 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:37.000 of juvenile incarceration 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:39.000 look like because when you 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:40.000 think juveniles that get 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.000 life sentences -- what's the first 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:45.000 thing you think of probably -- 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:47.000 mass school shootings or the 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:48.000 ones you see on the news that 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.000 are prominent the super 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.000 predators that they're being 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:53.000 labeled by the media that -- 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:54.000 kill their parents or their 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:57.000 grandparents or they get into 00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:59.000 a school fight and they stabbed 00:02:59.000 --> 00:02:60.000 them in a fit of anger and 00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:01.000 what do most of you guys think 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000 the consequences should be 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:11.000 speaker waits for audience to answer 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.000 he said it would vary based 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:17.000 on the nature of what they 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:18.000 did the attitude of the 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:19.000 child at the time of the 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:24.000 offense am I missing anything 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:26.000 how they cooperate 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:34.000 how they cooperate yeah - alright 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:36.000 every person you see up here 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.000 is a juvenile offender that 00:03:39.000 --> 00:03:41.000 received a life sentence that 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:42.000 were children they were under 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.000 the age of eighteen up there in 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.000 this corner that's me the day 00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:47.000 of my arrest when I was thirteen 00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:50.000 years old my brother was my 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:54.000 co-defendant who was twelve is 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:55.000 still the youngest male to ever 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:56.000 be sentenced to adult prison 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:59.000 in America I am the youngest 00:03:59.000 --> 00:03:62.000 female this was the date of 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.000 my sentencing I had just 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:06.000 turned fourteen years old at 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000 the age of thirteen I committed 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.000 murder I killed my step mother 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.000 I took a plea ten months 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:17.000 later for eighteen years 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:18.000 sentence followed by life 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:19.000 probation I was told by my 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.000 attorneys that had I not taken 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:24.000 that plea I would've spent the 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.000 rest of my life in prison 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:28.000 the circumstances of my case did 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.000 not come out at the time of 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:35.000 sentencing and no one asked why 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:36.000 a thirteen year old and a 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:39.000 twelve year old I felt so 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:43.000 desperate that they took someone's life 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.000 Columbine happened that year so America 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:49.000 was out for blood we were the 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:50.000 first national case of a teen 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.000 with guns and so the 10-20-Life law 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:55.000 was passed in Florida 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.000 where you received a ten year 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.000 sentence if you branded a weapon 00:04:59.000 --> 00:04:60.000 twenty year sentence if you 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.000 fired the weapon whether it 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.000 hit somebody or not and you receive 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.000 life if you hit someone 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:14.000 whether they died or not 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:16.000 I think when America 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:25.000 decided that children 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:29.000 can be treated as adults based 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:33.000 on the severity of their crime 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:34.000 when we said that we could 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.000 take a child's life and throw 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:37.000 it away because of the worst 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.000 mistake they ever made that 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:42.000 became one of the largest 00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:44.000 the biggest thinking errors of 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:53.000 our criminal justice system 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.000 now at this present era 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:56.000 we have the Kim Kardashian's 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:58.000 that Meek Mill's the Jay-z's 00:05:58.000 --> 00:05:60.000 that are jumping on their 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.000 platforms to say you know 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:05.000 what this isn't right 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:06.000 and their motives for it to 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:08.000 me are irrelevant I'm just happy 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:09.000 that somebody's put it in the 00:06:09.000 --> 00:06:13.000 forefront but for me this is 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.000 my life's passion because I 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:19.000 was that child that the courts 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:25.000 deemed fit for adult prison 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:28.000 in spite of the fact that I 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.000 was only thirteen years old 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:34.000 now I went to do a news interview 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.000 probably twelve years into my 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:40.000 sentence and the wave had shifted 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.000 the climate had changed and 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:45.000 now they were saying you know 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.000 we need to start looking at 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:47.000 why we're sending these kids 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.000 to prison the circumstances of 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:51.000 my case came out that we were 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:54.000 sexually abused from the age 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:56.000 of five until two weeks prior 00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:59.000 to our arrest that my teachers had 00:06:59.000 --> 00:06:61.000 reported it to the department 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:02.000 of children and families and 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:03.000 nothing was done about it that 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:04.000 they investigated and found 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.000 out that we were living in the 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:07.000 house with a convicted sexual 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:08.000 predator that had raped and 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.000 sodomozied a twelve year old 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:14.000 girl and it was allowed that I'd answer 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:15.000 the door for his probation 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:16.000 officer they seen he was 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.000 in the house with minors and 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:24.000 they said it was okay 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.000 that the system had failed so 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.000 in my thirteen year old mind 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:30.000 that is not fully developed 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.000 the only thing I was thinking 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.000 was I have to get me and my 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:34.000 brother out of the situation 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:36.000 because two weeks prior to 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:37.000 this incident happening I found 00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:39.000 out that my brother was also a 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:41.000 victim of the sexual violence 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.000 in our household in my mind 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.000 it was only me because a male 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:47.000 would only sexually abused a 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:49.000 female right it never occurred 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:50.000 to me that the entire time I 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:52.000 was being sexually assaulted 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:53.000 by my father's brother that 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:55.000 my brother was being sexually 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:57.000 assaulted as well and the only 00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:58.000 thing that kept replaying in 00:07:58.000 --> 00:07:60.000 my mind over and over and over 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:01.000 again with the times that my 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:02.000 brother would come in my room 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.000 at two o'clock in the morning 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:05.000 and I would kick him out of 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:06.000 my bed because I didn't want 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.000 to get in trouble because he 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:08.000 shared a room with my uncle 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:11.000 and I failed him so by any 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:13.000 means necessary I would get my 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:15.000 brother out of the situation 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.000 I would get myself out of the 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:18.000 situation and in my thirteen 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:20.000 year old mine I didn't think 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:23.000 that the life that I took was 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:24.000 something that I would never 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:26.000 recover from I didn't think 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:28.000 about the fact that she had two 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:29.000 children that would now grow up 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:31.000 without a mother because of my 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:33.000 actions in my thirteen year old 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.000 mind I wasn't thinking that my 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000 actions would affect not only 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.000 me my family and my victim's family 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:43.000 but my entire community that 00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:45.000 my actions would shift the 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:46.000 entire political climate of the 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:52.000 nation that was out for blood 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:55.000 because I was thirteen 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:57.000 your brain isn't fully developed yet 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:60.000 all I knew is that I needed out 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.000 and that I had 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:02.000 gone to my teachers and 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.000 that I had gone through the 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:08.000 process and nobody helped me 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:09.000 and I usually don't even 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:11.000 like to bring up the why 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:12.000 of how it happened because 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:13.000 I never want to justify 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:14.000 or belittle the fact 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:21.000 that there was a life taken 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:23.000 child and you commit harm 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:24.000 against someone else or you 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:25.000 take a like the you should 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:27.000 not be punished you have to 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:28.000 be held accountable but in 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:34.000 an age appropriate manner 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.000 while I was in prison I met 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:36.000 either fourteen or fifteen 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.000 I was just like me who will 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:41.000 never get out of prison but 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.000 because of something they did 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:44.000 when they were a child and 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:45.000 also with the most amazing 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:51.000 people you would ever meet 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:52.000 if you were to see me 00:09:52.000 --> 00:09:53.000 in the supermarket would 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:54.000 you look at me and say 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:57.000 there's a convicted murder 00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:58.000 does anybody see that 00:09:58.000 --> 00:09:72.000 when they look at me 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:18.000 I'm not the exception my case 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:19.000 is that something that happened 00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:21.000 in the United States and it 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:22.000 may happen once a year twice 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:25.000 a year the United States is 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:26.000 the only country that sentences 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.000 children to die in prison 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:30.000 by giving them life without 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:32.000 parole sentences they are sentencing 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:36.000 children to die in prison 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000 a very significantly based 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:40.000 on geography the quality of 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:41.000 your legal representation your 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:45.000 economic status and your race 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:46.000 how many of you believe that 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:48.000 racism exists structurally in 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:50.000 two thousand and twenty that 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:56.000 it's still an issue in America 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.000 they are states such as Alabama 00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:60.000 were almost the entire death 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.000 row is African American there 00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:08.000 are still states in America 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:09.000 that will sentence you to death row 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:14.000 for a nonviolent offense 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:15.000 African American youth are 00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:16.000 serving life without parole 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.000 at a per capita rate ten 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:24.000 times that of white youth 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:25.000 there is research that shows 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:26.000 that they look at black 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:28.000 males or black females 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:29.000 as more mature therefore 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:30.000 more aggressive and more 00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:31.000 violent even though they're 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:37.000 the same age as a white juvenile 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:38.000 historically five states are 00:11:38.000 --> 00:11:40.000 responsible for imposing two 00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:42.000 thirds of the juvenile life 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.000 without parole sentences 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.000 even though the youth 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:46.000 in these states are no different 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:48.000 from the youth everywhere 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.000 across America and all the 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:54.000 youth are deserving of a second chance 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:57.000 California Florida Louisiana Michigan and 00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:59.000 Pennsylvania Oregon is the 00:11:59.000 --> 00:11:61.000 second highest incarcerator 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:06.000 of youth and adult facilities 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.000 so when we first said that we 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:08.000 listed those five states it 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:10.000 look like yeah well Oregon's not 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:13.000 that state right because 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:14.000 they don't rank the highest 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:16.000 with the life without parole 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.000 sentences but when it comes 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:19.000 to children being sentenced 00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:20.000 as adults are treated as 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:21.000 adults in the criminal justice 00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:26.000 system Oregon is number two 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:34.000 do any of those statistics surprise you 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:35.000 when I was up in the 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:37.000 county jail there was a 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:43.000 female who was -- charged 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:46.000 with killing beating an 00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:50.000 eighty year old man to death 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:51.000 her and her co-defendant were 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:54.000 high they were hoping to -- 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:58.000 score drugs and -- she went 00:12:58.000 --> 00:12:60.000 to -- turn tricks with him 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:01.000 they decide to rob him instead 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:03.000 they beat him and he died 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.000 her family was wealthy had a lot of 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:08.000 money this is the exact same 00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:10.000 year that I was sentenced to 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:11.000 eighteen years she was released 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:16.000 on probation for homicide 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:17.000 so if we think that race 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:21.000 or economic class is not -- 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:22.000 play a part in the criminal 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.000 justice system that would 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:32.000 be a fatal error of thinking 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:34.000 we also will sentence our most 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:38.000 vulnerable population two adult 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:39.000 incarceration where they will 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:43.000 be further victimized as I told 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:44.000 you earlier I was a victim of 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:47.000 sexual assault by a convicted 00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:50.000 pedophile by standards in 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.000 our society if you are a pedophile 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:55.000 the law states that you 00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:57.000 can't be around minors correct 00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:60.000 yet when a child commits harm 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:02.000 but commits a criminal offense 00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:06.000 that they feel -- warrants 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:07.000 an adult sentence you place 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.000 them in incarceration with 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:13.000 what - pedophiles they don't 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:14.000 separate the pedophiles from 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:15.000 the kids that are sentenced to 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:16.000 prison we're housed right 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:17.000 next to them some of them are 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:22.000 roommates so at what point 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:27.000 is our innocence 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:32.000 our vulnerability 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:35.000 the fact that we're human 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:38.000 how 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:41.000 severe does the charge have 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:42.000 to be for you to overlook 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:45.000 the fact that I was a child 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:47.000 or that these are children 00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:48.000 is there any crime that you could 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:50.000 think that could be committed 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:52.000 where we should completely 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.000 disregard the fact that 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:60.000 we're dealing with a child 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.000 does anybody feel like there's 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.000 anything you could possibly do 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.000 at twelve thirteen and fourteen 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:06.000 that should make us not look at 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:13.000 you as a child but as an adult 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:14.000 eighty percent of girls and 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:15.000 half of all children sentenced 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:16.000 to life in prison without 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:17.000 the possibility of parole 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:21.000 had been physically abused 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.000 and seventy seven percent of 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.000 girls and twenty percent of 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.000 all youth lifers said they had 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:27.000 been sexually abused so now 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:31.000 you have trauma abused children 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:33.000 going inside of an adult prison 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:34.000 where they will probably be 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:37.000 further victimized by the age 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:38.000 of fifteen I was sexually 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:40.000 assaulted by a male male staff 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:41.000 on solitary confinement when 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:46.000 he was handing me my food tree 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:47.000 and he decided that while he 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:49.000 was handed me my food tray he 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:53.000 was a gonna rub on my breast 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:59.000 big guy in authority 00:15:59.000 --> 00:15:60.000 a place where I thought I 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:01.000 was safe because that's what 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:02.000 I thought when they arrested 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:03.000 me okay at least now I'm 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:06.000 safe you know that's got 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:07.000 to be rough that's a rough 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:08.000 childhood when you can get 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:12.000 locked up and be like I'm safe 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.000 but I wasn't I was inside a 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.000 cell twenty four hours a day 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:18.000 and I was still victimized by 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:23.000 a guard and when I reported it 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:25.000 the inspector general I found 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:27.000 out what his golf buddy and 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.000 you know what he told me 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:31.000 he's Italian they're a little touchy 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:33.000 feely I'm sure you interpreted it 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:35.000 wrong but if you want to pursue 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:39.000 the claim I will place you in 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:40.000 solitary confinement for six 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.000 months let you out for twenty 00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:43.000 four hours and put you back in 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:44.000 for another six months because 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:48.000 I will protect you at all costs 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.000 or you could write a statement 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:54.000 saying you mistook what he did 00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:56.000 and I'll let you go 00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:57.000 mind you I had been a solitary 00:16:57.000 --> 00:16:59.000 confinement says they arrested me 00:16:59.000 --> 00:16:61.000 I wanted out so I made the statement 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:04.000 the same thing I did 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:07.000 to my uncle when they came and 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:08.000 said that what happened and I 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:09.000 said he didn't do it because 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:10.000 I thought they're going to 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:13.000 take me from my dad so you 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:22.000 see how the cycle continues 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:26.000 and then we come home 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:28.000 treatment unless you're 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:31.000 lucky and get to the right 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:32.000 institution because we had 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.000 four mental health workers for 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:38.000 forty eight hundred inmates 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:39.000 so there's no personalized 00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:42.000 counseling no rehabilitation 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.000 unless it's something that 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:46.000 you put inside of you that you want 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.000 I had to make up in my mind 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.000 that I was I was going to get 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:52.000 better I was going to heal 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:54.000 but it took my first twelve 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:55.000 years of me conforming 00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:57.000 to my environment becoming a 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:60.000 product of my environment you 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:01.000 would let me ten years ago 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:03.000 you would even recognize me 00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:08.000 because I was something else 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:10.000 because I'm a little girl 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.000 a cute little girl by their 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:13.000 standards so I had to come in 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:14.000 and make a statement as soon 00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.000 as I walked on the prison 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:21.000 yard I couldn't be soft 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:22.000 it got to the point where if 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:24.000 you just looked at me crazy 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:27.000 I'd slap you down 00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:28.000 and could you imagine if I 00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:29.000 would've came home with that 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:31.000 mentality the havoc I would've 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:35.000 raised in our communities 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:38.000 but that's what's created when 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.000 you send a child to prison it 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:41.000 was only by the grace of god 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.000 in the fact that I met two 00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:45.000 mentors that came into my life 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:46.000 to be a positive influence 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:48.000 and changed me for the better 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:55.000 that I am who I am today 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:56.000 now a lot has changed since 00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:62.000 sentenced me as an adult 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.000 and two thousand five we had 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.000 Roper v. Simmons that 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.000 declared it unconstitutional 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:08.000 to impose the death penalty for 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:09.000 crimes committed by child 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.000 under the age of eighteen 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:14.000 it's hard to believe that less than 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.000 fifteen years ago we were 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:22.000 sentencing children to die 00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:23.000 what's the average age in this 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:25.000 room probably twenty twenty one 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:27.000 nineteen are any of you guys 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:32.000 same that you were at thirteen 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:33.000 would you make the same 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:35.000 decisions that you made at 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.000 thirteen so for decisions 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.000 that they made when they 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:43.000 were thirteen fourteen and in 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:44.000 their twenties early thirties 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:52.000 they were sent to death 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.000 in 2010 Graham v. Florida 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.000 one became unconstitutional 00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:56.000 since the someone in life 00:19:56.000 --> 00:19:58.000 in prison without the 00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.000 possibility of parole 00:19:59.000 --> 00:19:62.000 for non homicide crimes 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:09.000 under the age of eighteen 00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.000 non homicide 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:14.000 if you took a life you were 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:20.000 still sentenced to life in prison 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.000 in 2012 Miller v. Alabama 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:23.000 struck down all statues 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:25.000 that required a child 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:26.000 to be sentenced to die in 00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:28.000 prison which is mandatory life 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:29.000 because there were some states 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:30.000 that said if you killed someone 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:31.000 the judge had no discretion 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.000 the judge has sometime going 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:34.000 to public records that I 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:35.000 would have never said as 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:37.000 a child to die in prison 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:41.000 but I had to it was the law 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:42.000 and who helped pass those laws 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.000 how do those laws come into effect 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.000 because our voters vote for them 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:53.000 because the media 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.000 push that propaganda that 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:57.000 super predatory propaganda 00:20:59.000 --> 00:20:61.000 godless kids were running 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:03.000 around rampant just killing 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:06.000 people and we needed to 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:12.000 save the world from them 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:13.000 and so all these bills came 00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:14.000 into effect that even though 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:15.000 you are under the age of 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:18.000 eighteen if you committed -- 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:19.000 a murder you took a life no 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:21.000 matter what the circumstances 00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:22.000 you will be sent to prison 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:24.000 it will be a life for life 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:30.000 and people bought into that 00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:32.000 in 2016 Montgomery v. Louisiana 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.000 ruled six to three that the 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:39.000 retroactively to more than 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:41.000 twenty six hundred individuals 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.000 previously sentenced to life 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:46.000 without parole as children 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:48.000 now you read that you 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.000 would think now this 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:54.000 doesn't happen anymore 00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:57.000 so if you can't give - if life 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:60.000 without parole is now struck down 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.000 and then Miller v. Alabama 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:04.000 made it retroactive 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:06.000 all of our kids should getting out 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:13.000 right - well 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:14.000 and the state of Louisiana we 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:21.000 had over two hundred children 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:25.000 that have no out dates 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.000 there were states that 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:27.000 argued this only applied to 00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:30.000 mandatory sentences so if 00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:32.000 it wasn't mandatory 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.000 if the judge had put into 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:34.000 consideration that the child 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:36.000 was only fourteen or fifteen 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:41.000 it could change but he deemed 00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:43.000 saved that there was no 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:45.000 rehabilitation for them 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:53.000 he could still sentence them to life 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:54.000 and for the sake of sounding 00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:57.000 bitter about it how dare 00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.000 anybody look at a child 00:22:59.000 --> 00:22:63.000 and say you can't be saved 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:05.000 I don't think there's any 00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:06.000 mental health professional 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.000 that would look at thirteen 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:08.000 of fourteen or fifteen year old and say 00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:10.000 you are socio path and 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.000 they need to lock you away 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:15.000 for the rest of your life 00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:16.000 because all of the brain 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:18.000 science all of the research 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.000 showed that children have this 00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:26.000 amazing ability to overcome 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:27.000 the crap they go through 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:30.000 in their childhood and to 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:35.000 heal and grow and flourish 00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:37.000 I'm a prime example of that 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:39.000 it is not just me I work with 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:40.000 the organization that the 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:42.000 we have an entire network 00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:44.000 including Trevor back there 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:45.000 of formally incarcerated 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:46.000 juveniles that have come 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:51.000 out and made a mark in the world 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.000 almost all of them have 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:55.000 started created or work for 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.000 nonprofits that fight to end 00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:58.000 juvenile life without parole 00:23:58.000 --> 00:23:67.000 or push criminal justice reform 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:12.000 and that comes not just from 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:14.000 not wanting other children to 00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:16.000 experience what we experienced 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:20.000 that comes from a desire 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.000 to somehow make up for the life 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:24.000 that we took cuz you know 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:29.000 I can't bring Nicole back 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:30.000 god knows if I could go back 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.000 in time and change that day 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:35.000 that five minutes that changed 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.000 my entire life I would but 00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:39.000 what I can do is come out here 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:45.000 and save another Catherine 00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:46.000 to be a voice and fight for those 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:48.000 that are inside that are gonna 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.000 die in there if things don't 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:53.000 change and the only way they're 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:56.000 going to change is if we educate 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:57.000 because most people don't 00:24:57.000 --> 00:24:58.000 don't even know that this 00:24:58.000 --> 00:24:60.000 is a reality I haven't touched 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.000 their house they haven't 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:08.000 been proximate to this issue 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:10.000 so I've determined in my heart that 00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:11.000 the rooftops if I have to 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:13.000 walk into every university 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:14.000 classroom in United States of American 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.000 until everyone knows 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:19.000 that this is happening that our 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:24.000 children are being declared 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.000 Trevor give me the word 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:30.000 I'm a little emotional -- 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:37.000 irredeemably corrupt geez 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:39.000 judges have the discretion 00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:41.000 judges have the discretion 00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:43.000 to declare a child is 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:48.000 irredeemably corrupt 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:53.000 I'm glad nobody looked at me that way 00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.000 Dstrict of Columbia have 00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:59.000 now been life without parole 00:25:59.000 --> 00:25:60.000 or no one in that state is 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.000 starving because they don't practice it 00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:04.000 it's not in the law 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.000 necessarily that they can't 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:07.000 do it they just don't 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:13.000 that's their position that's their stance 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:14.000 all the states you see that 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:16.000 are cream colored still have 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:17.000 children serving life without 00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:22.000 parole sentences however 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:25.000 Oregon has a ban it looks 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:26.000 like no one's serving juvenile life 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:28.000 a life without parole right 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:31.000 there is there are children 00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:32.000 serving life without parole 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:33.000 sentences because it's not 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:36.000 retroactive so they have put a 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:39.000 law in that says we are banning 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:41.000 life without parole but so 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:43.000 they're green but they have 00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.000 not made that retroactive 00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:46.000 for the juveniles that are 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:48.000 already sentenced to life 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:52.000 like there won't be any future 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.000 but the ones that are already 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:56.000 there still there so it's like 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:59.000 only half the battle is won 00:26:59.000 --> 00:26:67.000 there's still more to fight 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:10.000 they're home now what 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.000 we have five hundred and ninety 00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:13.000 nine juvenile lifers that 00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:14.000 have been released thus far 00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:17.000 based due to the legislative 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.000 two out of criminal just 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:20.000 reform criminal justice reform 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:23.000 work the people advocating 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.000 bridging it today just banned 00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:30.000 juvenile life without parole 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:31.000 after twenty years children 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:32.000 every day and I will get 00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:33.000 a chance to go the forever 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:34.000 parole board show that they have 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:36.000 changed and rehabilitated and have 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:39.000 the opportunity to come home 00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:40.000 I went to prison when I was 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.000 thirteen years old I came 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.000 out when I was thirty I had 00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.000 never driven a car I had 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:49.000 never used a cell phone I 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:50.000 don't even have smart phone when 00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:51.000 have smartphones when I got 00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:54.000 arrested I don't know about 00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.000 social media Facebook Twitter 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:58.000 Instagram you young folks use 00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:59.000 Snapchat I'm still figure 00:27:59.000 --> 00:27:66.000 out Facebook add and -- 00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:08.000 when I came home at thirty 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:10.000 in my mind this was my 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.000 fantasy about release right 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:20.000 I said I am gonna go home 00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.000 and start my life over I've 00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:24.000 served my time I paid my debt 00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:30.000 to society it's a fresh start 00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:31.000 in my mind I fantasize 00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:33.000 about this like six 00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:36.000 foot five strapping 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:44.000 man with a six pack and 00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:49.000 and a good job a nice car right 00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:52.000 going to college and creating 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:53.000 a career now I was starting a little 00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:55.000 late I was 30 but like the 00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.000 possibilities were endless 00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:60.000 I thought about my family who I 00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:02.000 had been away from for eighteen 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:03.000 years I'm like we're probably 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:04.000 going to be reunited like I 00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:06.000 was just going to jump in where I 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:09.000 left off at thirteen and the 00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:12.000 reality of that was completely 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:15.000 different the reality was that 00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:17.000 society had now branded me with 00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.000 the scarlet letter F 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:23.000 for felon 00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:25.000 I was in college I had a 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:29.000 early childhood education 00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.000 classes and was called in by 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:33.000 my counselor who said you know 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:34.000 I'm just going to be realistic 00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:36.000 with you they'll never hire 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.000 you an education what the 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:41.000 murder conviction they didn't care 00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:43.000 about my 4.0 they didn't care 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:44.000 that I was at the top 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.000 of my class that I loved 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:51.000 kids and that was my passion 00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:52.000 that was kind of my first 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:55.000 dose of reality and then I 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.000 went job hunting and here 00:29:58.000 --> 00:29:60.000 I am for seventeen years I 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.000 have educated myself I took 00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:04.000 every class I came out with 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.000 two degrees I just I knew I 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:08.000 was going to take the world 00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:11.000 by storm when I came home 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:13.000 and I go on my first job 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:14.000 interview in the lady told me 00:30:14.000 --> 00:30:19.000 she said you lit up my entire office 00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:21.000 this is the best interview I've ever had 00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:23.000 I'm actually happy 00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:25.000 and she gave me my start date 00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:27.000 and I told her because I live 00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:28.000 in a state where I was required 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:29.000 to tell my employer because 00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:31.000 my probation officer was going 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:33.000 to send them a letter and say 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.000 you're hiring someone that's a 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.000 convicted felon these are her charges 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:38.000 so I said well hold on 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:42.000 there's something I have to tell you 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:44.000 and I said I was thirteen years 00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.000 old I was convicted of murder 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:47.000 I learned my lesson I just 00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:49.000 need a second shot she said 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:55.000 oh all right we'll call you 00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:58.000 and I believed her because 00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:60.000 I don't know any better and 00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:02.000 I waited and waited and I 00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:04.000 called and called and kept getting 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:05.000 her voice mail and I was like 00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:07.000 she's not gonna call that's 00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:10.000 a bummer right and you think 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:11.000 I learned from that but no 00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:13.000 I what other job interview 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:14.000 did the same thing now this 00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:17.000 is in the parking lot crying 00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:19.000 because I'm like what the heck 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:22.000 did anybody like I need a job 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:24.000 my mom's like taking my phone like I'm 00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:25.000 still thirteen years old 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.000 I need to buy my own phone 00:31:29.000 --> 00:31:30.000 because you have to think 00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:33.000 any income so everything 00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:34.000 I have I'm dependent on 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:40.000 my parents to give me 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.000 and I realize that it was 00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.000 just one more thing that I 00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.000 was going to have to fight against 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:50.000 I started working for Sponsors re-entry 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:51.000 program that was the first 00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:53.000 time I got a salaried job I 00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:56.000 was super excited about that 00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.000 because I was kind of stuck 00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:59.000 working at McDonald's entry 00:31:59.000 --> 00:31:62.000 level jobs college educated 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:05.000 convenience stores because I 00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:07.000 was a convicted felon which 00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:11.000 is okay when it was just me 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:14.000 but the my first baby came 00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:15.000 then my second and then 00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:16.000 you realize that you can't 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:25.000 survive off minimum wage 00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:28.000 back to my family I told you 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:29.000 my mom was taking my phone 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:30.000 because when I left I was 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:32.000 thirteen years old right she 00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:34.000 didn't see me grow 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:36.000 she didn't see me mature as a woman 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:37.000 so when I came home she thought I 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:40.000 was thirteen again so I say 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:43.000 I was married I got 00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:44.000 married my last year in prison 00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:46.000 she's like and your husband 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:47.000 ain't coming to see you either 00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:52.000 he's not welcome in my house 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:54.000 and there was such a desire 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.000 in my heart to make my parents 00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:58.000 proud of me because I felt like 00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:62.000 I ruined their life I 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.000 tried to make up so everything 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:06.000 they wanted me to do I did it 00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:07.000 even if I didn't agree with it 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.000 I divorced husband they 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:15.000 felt he was too old for me 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.000 I came home at ten o'clock 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:19.000 because that was my curfew 00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:20.000 I wasn't allowed to talk to 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.000 my friends in prison even 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.000 though they technically were 00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:29.000 my family I grew up with them 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:35.000 I moved out a month later 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:36.000 because I couldn't 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:40.000 figure out my place 00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.000 in prison that had become my home 00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:45.000 especially a child you kind 00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:50.000 of just adapt you're resilient 00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:51.000 so you make the best of 00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:54.000 it I knew who I was as 00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:58.000 Catherine Jones inmate E10086 00:33:58.000 --> 00:33:62.000 I knew who I was I was teaching 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:03.000 other women who they were I 00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:07.000 was at I created a curriculum 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:08.000 for learning who you are your 00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:11.000 self identity and I was like a 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:14.000 powerhouse in there man -- the 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:15.000 mentor like everyone looked 00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:16.000 up to me and then I come home 00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.000 to a society that made me 00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:20.000 feel inadequate or less then 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.000 because of something I did 00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:25.000 when I was thirteen years old 00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:27.000 so now I'm in this like crazy 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:29.000 space where who am I as 00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.000 a free woman who is Catherine 00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:33.000 and before I can even figure 00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:38.000 that out I met that man 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:39.000 now you're talking about 00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:42.000 someone who had gone through 00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:45.000 sexual trauma who grew up 00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:48.000 watching my father hit my mom 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:50.000 my mom left when I was four 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.000 because of what she 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:57.000 went through with my dad 00:34:57.000 --> 00:34:59.000 so nothing I experienced 00:34:59.000 --> 00:34:61.000 in life was healthy so I 00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:02.000 had no idea what a healthy 00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:06.000 relationship looks like 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:07.000 and one thing I've learned is 00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:10.000 that people that are predators 00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:12.000 can spot people like who I 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:16.000 was four years ago a mile away 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:17.000 someone who wasn't sure 00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:19.000 now I'm shaken I don't know 00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.000 who I am my confidence is crappy 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.000 and in walks this 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:29.000 handsome piece of chocolate 00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:32.000 and he was everything I wanted 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:35.000 except he was short right 00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:36.000 he was only like 5'8" 00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:38.000 but I was willing to 00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:39.000 compromise because he had a 00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:41.000 little like gangsta swag but he 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:44.000 was a reformed thug because 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:45.000 my my personality I was like 00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:47.000 I can't get anybody all nice 00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:48.000 then you know they got to 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:52.000 be kind of gangsta but 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:56.000 they gotta love Jesus right so 00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:59.000 so amazingly I found out later 00:35:59.000 --> 00:35:63.000 we both got released from jail the same day 00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:05.000 so he was starting over and 00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:06.000 that's how we became friends 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.000 relate because we're both 00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:09.000 working at Sonic a fast food 00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:10.000 place because we're convicted 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:15.000 felons I know now just to 00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.000 aim a little higher but he sweet 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:24.000 talked me and it was romance and it was so nice 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.000 and when I got pregnant with my 00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:27.000 son I was a little distraught 00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:28.000 because I was like I'm in 00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:30.000 school like I had like this 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:31.000 time line in my head like 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:33.000 finish school get a career 00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:35.000 have a baby oh get married 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:38.000 have a baby and it didn't work 00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:39.000 out like that so I'm pregnant 00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:42.000 with my son and then I 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.000 he relapsed I don't realize that 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:47.000 he was a meth attic and when he 00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:53.000 started getting high he got mean 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:54.000 the first time I went to 00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:56.000 a speaking engagement came 00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:57.000 back he accused me of messing 00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.000 around with the guy I was on 00:36:59.000 --> 00:36:63.000 a speaking engagement with 00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:04.000 threw me into a wall 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:08.000 broke the bathroom door 00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:14.000 escalated from there 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:15.000 I put in my head that I was 00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:16.000 going to leave when I had 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:17.000 my son because I was not 00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:18.000 going to allow my children 00:37:18.000 --> 00:37:22.000 to grow up the way I did 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:23.000 he said I'll never get high 00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.000 again he didn't but the 00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:27.000 behavior didn't change 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:33.000 it was like walking on eggshells 00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:34.000 because my entire existence 00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:36.000 my entire being was trying 00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:41.000 to make it were he wasn't mad 00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:44.000 because I didn't know who I was 00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:48.000 I allowed him to define me 00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:50.000 and I work with the female 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:52.000 ICAN members and almost every 00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:53.000 single one of them have a 00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:55.000 story like that why because 00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:56.000 they were trauma children 00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:58.000 placed in a trauma environment 00:37:58.000 --> 00:37:59.000 and were sent home without 00:37:59.000 --> 00:37:63.000 really any type of resources 00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:08.000 for mental health counseling 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:13.000 and that became their reality 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:14.000 what isn't in there 00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:19.000 something amazing about people 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:21.000 that have had to withstand 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:26.000 an immense amount of pressure 00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:27.000 like we're the kings and 00:38:27.000 --> 00:38:30.000 queens of bounce back 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:36.000 I learned I cried and I left 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:37.000 because I said I spent 00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:40.000 seventeen years and hell where 00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.000 people tell me what to do when 00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.000 I can use the bathroom what I 00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:47.000 was going to eat and then when 00:38:47.000 --> 00:38:51.000 they did feed me it was crappy 00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:52.000 I wasn't gonna do it out 00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.000 here I wasn't given any more 00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:57.000 my years away I left with my two 00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:62.000 babies and went to a homeless shelter 00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:04.000 within two months I had my own 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:06.000 apartment starting January of 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:07.000 this year I've got my highest 00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:10.000 paying job to date working 00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:11.000 doing what I love with the Campaign 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:12.000 for the Fair Sentencing of Youth 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:14.000 fighting for juveniles who 00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:17.000 are sentenced to die in prison 00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:18.000 So there's a happy ending 00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:23.000 I don't want you guys feel bad for me 00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:24.000 but that's the reality of what 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:27.000 it's like for a child now that's 00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:31.000 not everyone's experience 00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:32.000 there are some people that 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:33.000 come out and they have support 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:35.000 and they have resources and 00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:36.000 they succeed but they still 00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:38.000 have the same things going 00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:41.000 on they're still you still 00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:48.000 struggle to feel normal 00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.000 so when you were voting 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:52.000 and we want these 00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:53.000 harsh sentences for these 00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:55.000 violent kids the reality 00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:57.000 of those kids are one day 00:39:57.000 --> 00:39:59.000 because we will ban juvenile 00:39:59.000 --> 00:39:60.000 life without parole are gonna 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.000 one day be your neighbors 00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:02.000 and what kind of neighbors 00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:06.000 are they going to be 00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:07.000 and are you responsible 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:10.000 for that at all 00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:11.000 the responsibility of our 00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:12.000 children do you feel like 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:17.000 it just falls on the parents 00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:20.000 now 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.000 would you like to elaborate honey 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:28.000 falls just on the parents -- 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:29.000 it's you know there's the old 00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:31.000 saying that it takes a tribe 00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.000 to raise a child and you are 00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.000 gonna be closely involved with 00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:36.000 your neighbors whether it's 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:38.000 just walking -- you can say 00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:41.000 something you can see something 00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:43.000 why let somebody struggle and 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:45.000 fall if their parents can't 00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:46.000 help them but you have the 00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:48.000 opportunity to be able to 00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.000 I don't think it just relies 00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:51.000 on the parents but the whole 00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:53.000 community as a whole to work 00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:54.000 together to make sure that 00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:56.000 everyone is prospering and has 00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:59.000 a future ahead of them 00:40:59.000 --> 00:40:61.000 thank you and it sounds like a really 00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:03.000 lofty ideal right that we're 00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:05.000 each responsible or as they 00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:07.000 say I am my brother's keeper 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:10.000 but we are because imagine 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:11.000 the difference if it would 00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:14.000 have made if that teacher that 00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:17.000 scene that what was happening 00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:18.000 did what she had to do black 00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:20.000 or white but policy makers 00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:26.000 report but follow through 00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:28.000 how many people hear they're 00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:30.000 neighbors fighting and the 00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:33.000 wife is or the husband is a 00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:34.000 victim of domestic violence 00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:44.000 we say that's not my business 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.000 Project Witness two weeks ago 00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:48.000 we went to New York and 00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:52.000 campaign that I work for have 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:55.000 collaborated on a project to 00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:60.000 bring people proximate to -- 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:03.000 incarceration as in juvenile 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:04.000 to show people what it's 00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:05.000 like it's 3D 00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:07.000 if you watch it on your phone 00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:08.000 it's a 3D image 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:10.000 but I wanted to take 00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.000 seven minutes just to watch 00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:14.000 this and hear it from the 00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:15.000 words of other juveniles that have 00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:16.000 been that have been affected 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:20.000 by the juvenile justice system 00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:25.000 music 00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:28.000 it has been four years since 00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:34.000 I was released from prison 00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:37.000 and to see that makes 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:49.000 it feel like yesterday 00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:53.000 so one of the things that I 00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:56.000 did when I came home was 00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:58.000 become a part of the campaign 00:42:58.000 --> 00:42:62.000 which is where I currently work 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:04.000 the reason that I fell 00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:06.000 in love with it is that 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:07.000 they're one of those rare with 00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:08.000 organizations that kind of 00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:09.000 put their money where their 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:12.000 mouth is also half of their 00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:18.000 staff are directly impacted 00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.000 but 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000 they also have a network called 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:23.000 Incarcerated Children's Advocacy Network 00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:26.000 that's entirely made up of juveniles 00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:29.000 who either had life sentences or homicide 00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:32.000 convictions and served extreme sentences 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:33.000 and there are way more 00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:36.000 than you think and it was when 00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:39.000 I was there that at a time it 00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:41.000 was I came home August this is 00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:42.000 November so at a time when I 00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:45.000 was in turmoil about -- what 00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:48.000 was my place in the world I was 00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:52.000 enveloped by a group of people 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.000 who had similar circumstances 00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:55.000 you know that's kind of how 00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:56.000 you do your clicks in school 00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:59.000 right people that have -- 00:43:59.000 --> 00:43:61.000 common interests and hobbies 00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:02.000 and you know that like the 00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:05.000 same vibe these are people who 00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:07.000 understood what I meant when I 00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:09.000 said that I was in a room full 00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.000 of people but felt alone like 00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:15.000 I didn't belong in this society 00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:17.000 like I was weird like they got 00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:21.000 that or how I start this new 00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:24.000 job within the professional 00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:26.000 world because my mind always 00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:27.000 had like entry level jobs right 00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:30.000 so now I have like a title it's 00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.000 fancy too it's really long 00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:36.000 and -- like recognition and 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:39.000 and struggle internally with 00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:41.000 feeling like I'm not worthy 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:42.000 like I don't even know how to 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.000 navigate that world because 00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:47.000 that world wasn't an option for me six 00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:52.000 months ago they get that 00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:53.000 that gentleman sitting back there 00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:57.000 and that's him by the way is 00:44:57.000 --> 00:44:60.000 my fellow I can brother -- I 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.000 think some of you have had the 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:03.000 pleasure to meet already 00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:07.000 you've already spoke to him Trevor yeah 00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:09.000 another fine example of what 00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:11.000 a second chance looks like 00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:14.000 and that became my family 00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:15.000 not blood because they didn't 00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:16.000 understand me they didn't 00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:18.000 get me like I didn't even 00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:21.000 have a spot there anymore 00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:22.000 and so they became 00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:25.000 a surrogate family 00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:28.000 four of these people are the 00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:29.000 ones who told their stories 00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:31.000 and experiences of that 00:45:31.000 --> 00:45:34.000 trauma and all of them 00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:35.000 are doing amazing things 00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:36.000 in their community right 00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:39.000 now and my boss is in there 00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:44.000 too and until that's her 00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:47.000 and there is my baby's 00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:51.000 that's my happily ever after 00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:52.000 my son and daughter 00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:56.000 a society that I hope 00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:61.000 I never have to be afraid 00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:03.000 other life being disregarded 00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:04.000 and being told that it meant 00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:07.000 nothing more then they should 00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:08.000 spend the rest of life in 00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:09.000 prison if they ever made a 00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:12.000 mistake now my goal is that 00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:13.000 they would never suffer the 00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:15.000 trauma that I've suffered 00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:16.000 that will protect them at 00:46:16.000 --> 00:46:18.000 all cost so they would never 00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.000 feel desperate enough to make 00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:22.000 those type of decisions but 00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:24.000 we do know that almost half 00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:25.000 of the people that commit 00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:26.000 the are in prison for homicide 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:28.000 were not the actual offenders 00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:30.000 they were there they were the 00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:31.000 girlfriend who didn't know 00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:32.000 her boyfriend was jumping out 00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:36.000 of the car and robbing somebody 00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:43.000 she was convicted of murder 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:45.000 or the friend and you're all hanging out 00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:46.000 in there a fight breaks out 00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:47.000 and somebody gets stabbed and 00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:50.000 you were there so now you're 00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:53.000 in prison for murder it's 00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:55.000 so easy for us to step back 00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:56.000 and say that can never be me 00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:57.000 that can never be my family 00:46:57.000 --> 00:46:61.000 my brother my sister my kids 00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:03.000 but I'm sure everybody that sat in 00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:04.000 the court room behind the 00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:05.000 defendant never thought 00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.000 it would be them either 00:47:09.000 --> 00:47:12.000 which is why we have to make 00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:15.000 it personal we can't just stand 00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:16.000 back from his issue it say 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:18.000 it doesn't apply to us it's 00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:21.000 not my problem you can't go 00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:23.000 to the ballot box ignorant 00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:25.000 voting for laws that you don't 00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:26.000 understand the consequence 00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:31.000 because now you know 00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:32.000 you know that bill that's 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:33.000 going to get past that makes 00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:35.000 it mandatory for a juvenile to 00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:36.000 automatically be adjudicated 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:37.000 as an adult if they have a homicide 00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:38.000 charge now you know what that 00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:40.000 means now you know what that 00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.000 child's going to go through 00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:48.000 and they'll never see that 00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:49.000 if I've got anything to 00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:51.000 say about it that's King 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:54.000 and Kalani by the way 00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.000 he's three she's two 00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:57.000 and she loves to dance and sing 00:47:57.000 --> 00:47:61.000 and they would not be here 00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:03.000 these future world changers 00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:04.000 would not be here if I 00:48:04.000 --> 00:48:08.000 didn't have this opportunity 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:09.000 if I wasn't allowed 00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:13.000 to get a second chance 00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:15.000 that label of murder has 00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:18.000 been replaced with mommy it 00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:19.000 is the best label I've ever 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:23.000 had the most noble title 00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:25.000 they say in such a way like 00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:27.000 it's the most important tile 00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:30.000 that will ever haver and it is 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.000 my son told me when I dropped 00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:35.000 him off today because I told 00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:37.000 mom has big things to do at 00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:43.000 work today he says mommy 00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:44.000 when you get money from your 00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:51.000 work job can I get a fuller night gown 00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:52.000 that's what he thinks about 00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:55.000 my world changing work 00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:57.000 so I'm gonna open it up for 00:48:57.000 --> 00:48:61.000 questions is there and you 00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:02.000 can ask anything there's 00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:04.000 nothing like off limits nothing 00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:07.000 too personal -- I want you to 00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:08.000 really understand the issue I 00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:12.000 want you to really understand 00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:16.000 me what's juvenile incarceration 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:19.000 I was just wondering if there's 00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:21.000 any sort of education while 00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:25.000 you're in prison like when you're 00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:27.000 a juvenile - that's a really 00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:30.000 good question okay so to 00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:32.000 clarify once you're adjudicated 00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:33.000 no longer a juvenile once you're 00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:35.000 adjudicate as an adult you're 00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:36.000 an adult facility and usually 00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:38.000 their policy is if you have 00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:41.000 over five years those type of 00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:43.000 resources are available to you 00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:44.000 if they feel like you're never 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:45.000 going to get out of prison and 00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:46.000 you're going to be in prison 00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:47.000 for twenty years why would 00:49:47.000 --> 00:49:48.000 they put they pay the money to 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:51.000 put in a program for digital 00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:52.000 design and you're never going 00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:54.000 to be able to utilize it so 00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:55.000 you're kinda at the bottom of 00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:58.000 the totem pole so now there 00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.000 are ways to self educate you 00:49:59.000 --> 00:49:61.000 can do I did correspondence 00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:03.000 courses through the mail -- 00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:04.000 I went to the library I went 00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:06.000 to the law library became a law 00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:09.000 clerk -- certified law clerk 00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:10.000 it's usually available that 00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:11.000 usually the course long timers 00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:12.000 make because that's one of the 00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:14.000 positions that they prefer long 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:15.000 time is to have because they 00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:17.000 paid money to see you to get 00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:19.000 certified to be a law clerk and 00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:20.000 there you're following motions 00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:25.000 for your -- fellow roommates 00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:26.000 you know try to get them all 00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:27.000 post conviction release -- 00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:29.000 three fifties three hundred 00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:30.000 days and so they want long 00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:31.000 timers because they know you're 00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:32.000 going to be able to put a lot 00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:34.000 of work for the amount they 00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:38.000 paid you -- as far as -- if 00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:39.000 you want to know about Oreon 00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:42.000 per se Trevor if you don't mind 00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:44.000 you can they seem to have a lot 00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:46.000 of opportunities in Oregon as 00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:51.000 far as education is concerned 00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:54.000 yes so similarly -- in terms 00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:57.000 of who has an opportunity to 00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:60.000 take -- educational classes 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:02.000 often times it has to do with 00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:03.000 how much time you're doing some 00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:04.000 of the apprenticeship programs 00:51:04.000 --> 00:51:05.000 that are available here in 00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:07.000 Oregon -- they really want 00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:08.000 it's a middle ground so they 00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:09.000 want you to have enough time 00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:10.000 to finish the apprenticeship 00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:13.000 program and invest in the 00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:15.000 facility that you're in -- 00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:17.000 but not too much time to not 00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:19.000 want to kind of cycle through 00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:23.000 programs so -- college was 00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:24.000 gone here in Oregon until 00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:27.000 about '07 -- it came back 00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:30.000 we had a relatively robust -- 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:32.000 associates degree program for 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:34.000 a number of years -- that's not 00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:37.000 quite as robust anymore -- and 00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:38.000 again to kind of put that in 00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:40.000 perspective those programs were 00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:41.000 predominantly available in the 00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:45.000 valley so in Salem -- OSCI, OSP 00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:50.000 three thousand of the state's 00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:52.000 fifteen thousand individuals 00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:54.000 who are incarcerated so a 00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:56.000 really and those programs 00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:57.000 again are available in those 00:51:57.000 --> 00:51:58.000 two facilities or were 00:51:58.000 --> 00:51:59.000 predominantly available in 00:51:59.000 --> 00:51:61.000 those two facilities to a very 00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:04.000 small subset of that population 00:52:08.000 --> 00:52:09.000 work group going on right 00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:10.000 now to explore increasing 00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.000 educational opportunities -- 00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.000 within Oregon's prison system 00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:17.000 but a lot of it is as Catherine 00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:18.000 mentioned kind of the things 00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:20.000 that you go after -- kind 00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:22.000 of taking making the effort 00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:23.000 to gain those opportunities 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.000 yourself because oftentimes 00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:26.000 specially for serving lengthy 00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:27.000 sentences they're not going 00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:28.000 to be available without a lot 00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:31.000 of working to get those okay 00:52:31.000 --> 00:52:34.000 thank you Trevor I see another hand 00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:36.000 by the way this is Trevor -- 00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:39.000 Walraven sorry I introduced Catherine 00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:42.000 but he has seen the 00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:45.000 experiences with Catherine 00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:48.000 so when you went in at thirteen like when 00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:49.000 you're thirteen you don't need 00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:50.000 to know like how to do taxes 00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:52.000 or like how to pay a mortgage 00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:54.000 or anything like that but when 00:52:54.000 --> 00:52:55.000 you're coming out of thirty 00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:57.000 you're expected to know like 00:52:57.000 --> 00:52:59.000 how did you taxes loans like 00:52:59.000 --> 00:52:60.000 debt mortgages and stuff 00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:02.000 like that so like I guess how 00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:03.000 did you learn how to do it 00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:04.000 because when you got out you're 00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:05.000 expected to know how to do all 00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:07.000 that and two how can society 00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:09.000 help people to get out 00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:13.000 like re-adapt to society in a way yeah 00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:20.000 I love your question 00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:21.000 thankfully I was released in 00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.000 the age of Google so I knew 00:53:24.000 --> 00:53:26.000 I based on word of mouth they 00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:28.000 told me if you're a convicted 00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:30.000 felon you can't get a FAFSA grant 00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:31.000 went on Google found out they 00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:32.000 wasn't true and I was like how 00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:35.000 do I apply for a FAFSA right 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:36.000 so I was able to get myself 00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:43.000 in school but I had like this 00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:46.000 determination like I tried 00:53:46.000 --> 00:53:47.000 to fit seventeen years that I 00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:49.000 lost into a very short amount 00:53:49.000 --> 00:53:52.000 of time right so and 00:53:52.000 --> 00:53:54.000 I had I was released August 1st 00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:55.000 and then September 00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:56.000 by September 10th that's like 00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:59.000 a month and a week I had 00:53:59.000 --> 00:53:61.000 learned how to drive the drive 00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:03.000 got a presidential academic 00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:04.000 scholarship so I was already 00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:05.000 enrolled in school getting ready 00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:07.000 to start the next semester got 00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:08.000 my first job and signed the 00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:09.000 lease to my first apartment 00:54:09.000 --> 00:54:14.000 like and I burned out quick 00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:15.000 but there were things that I 00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:17.000 didn't know like I had a job 00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:18.000 and my mom told me she said 00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:20.000 don't get a credit card but 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.000 don't put yourself in debt so 00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:23.000 here I am living this debt free 00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:26.000 life and then I go to get a car 00:54:26.000 --> 00:54:27.000 and they're like you don't have 00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:30.000 any credit I'm like hey right 00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:32.000 and they're like I know that's 00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:33.000 worse than bad credit and I'm 00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:35.000 like so like get a credit card 00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:36.000 so I got a credit card and 00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.000 I thought it was free money 00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:39.000 because when they gave me one 00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000 I got another another before 00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:41.000 I knew what I had fifteen 00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:46.000 of em and $17,000 in card debt so 00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:47.000 because I didn't know because 00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:49.000 I was thinking I can make my 00:54:49.000 --> 00:54:50.000 minimum payments but I didn't 00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:51.000 I didn't know what my credit 00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:53.000 to balance ratio was I didn't 00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:54.000 know that you stayed under 00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:56.000 thirty percent should of googled 00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:59.000 that but everything's been out 00:54:59.000 --> 00:54:60.000 of like trial and error but 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000 because it was like that for 00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:05.000 me that's why part of my job 00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:07.000 now my position is to create 00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:08.000 a program to educate people 00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:09.000 as they're coming out so they 00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:11.000 don't make those same mistakes 00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:13.000 and so most of it whether it's 00:55:13.000 --> 00:55:14.000 relationship whether it's jobs 00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:16.000 whether it was college it was 00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:18.000 all like trial and error and 00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:20.000 you kind of figured it out and 00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:27.000 because -- people aren't always 00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:29.000 so nice when you when you 00:55:29.000 --> 00:55:31.000 say things that are like not 00:55:31.000 --> 00:55:33.000 correct that's so especially 00:55:33.000 --> 00:55:35.000 with the teenagers I had 00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:38.000 step kids I was on social media 00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:39.000 and stuff and they'd like that was 00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:40.000 like wrote down a few when I 00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.000 was like excuse me well you weren't 00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:47.000 locked up for seventeen years 00:55:47.000 --> 00:55:50.000 so what we can do as far as 00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:52.000 helping other people is really 00:55:52.000 --> 00:55:53.000 to want to educate side on 00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:55.000 what the needs are one of the 00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:56.000 things that I have been doing 00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.000 it is going to corporations and 00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:59.000 businesses and saying hey we need 00:55:59.000 --> 00:55:62.000 to hire these people we need 00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:04.000 to make sure that they can earn 00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:11.000 money because if they can't 00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:15.000 drastic situations right 00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:17.000 that's it there's basic 00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:19.000 needs like housing property 00:56:19.000 --> 00:56:20.000 management companies getting 00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.000 them to -- allow people I can't 00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:25.000 tell you I spent almost $400 00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:26.000 in application fees 00:56:26.000 --> 00:56:27.000 only to be denied even though 00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:30.000 the application stated -- if 00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:31.000 you've been convicted of a 00:56:31.000 --> 00:56:32.000 felony within the last five 00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:33.000 years or seven years oh my 00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:35.000 I'm in the clear because mine 00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:37.000 was twenty years ago but they 00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:38.000 will run a background check it 00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:40.000 will pop up and actually started 00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:42.000 telling them up front because like 00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:43.000 stopped taking my money if you 00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:45.000 know your not going to give me an apartment right but 00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:46.000 it didn't matter that I had the 00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:48.000 income to afford it it didn't 00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:49.000 matter that I met all the 00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:51.000 other criteria it was something 00:56:51.000 --> 00:56:52.000 that happened twenty years 00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:53.000 ago that was stopping me from 00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:55.000 being able to get apartment 00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:56.000 so it's time to advocate 00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:58.000 hold people accountable when 00:56:58.000 --> 00:56:59.000 they're telling people no 00:56:59.000 --> 00:56:60.000 for jobs these big corporations 00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:02.000 Walmart that are saying no 00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:03.000 we're not hiring people were 00:57:03.000 --> 00:57:06.000 not second chance hires maybe 00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:07.000 for nonviolent offenders but 00:57:07.000 --> 00:57:08.000 not for violent offenders 00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:10.000 when statistically violent 00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:11.000 offenders people with charges 00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:15.000 like mine never re-offend 00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:16.000 like in the ninety percent 00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.000 range don't re-offend don't 00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:22.000 commit another violent charge 00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:25.000 I'm not some psycho crazy 00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:26.000 you know what I'm saying it 00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:29.000 was like a circumstantial it 00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:31.000 happened we grew I learned 00:57:31.000 --> 00:57:32.000 from it and now I'm spending my 00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:36.000 life trying to make up for it 00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:40.000 not in the sense that I owe it 00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:44.000 to society but kinda so 00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:45.000 because there's no other way I 00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:46.000 can redeem myself I can't take 00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:48.000 it back I can't change it so 00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:52.000 what I can do is pay it forward 00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:54.000 so I think that we can do that 00:57:54.000 --> 00:57:55.000 to have when you're when 00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:57.000 you become a supervisor or if 00:57:57.000 --> 00:57:60.000 you're working at a job and -- 00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:01.000 you're not a supervisor trying 00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:05.000 to get the policies changed 00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:07.000 to welcome everyone to be a second 00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:08.000 chance hire which is starting 00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:10.000 to become more common now 00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:12.000 property management companies 00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:13.000 are a little slower rentals 00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:15.000 as you know Kim Kardashian 00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:16.000 just did the whole gave the 00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:17.000 guy twenty thousand dollars 00:58:17.000 --> 00:58:18.000 I got out of prison to get a 00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:19.000 place but he still couldn't 00:58:19.000 --> 00:58:21.000 find one because he was an 00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:22.000 ex-offender they didn't care 00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:23.000 that he had twenty thousand 00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:26.000 dollars so yeah thank you for 00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:28.000 your question did that answer it 00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:34.000 yeah okay anymore questions 00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:35.000 yes you said that there are 00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:37.000 like two mentors that walked 00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:38.000 in your life and just going 00:58:38.000 --> 00:58:39.000 to help you like changed your 00:58:39.000 --> 00:58:40.000 mindset who are they in 00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:41.000 like where did you meet them 00:58:41.000 --> 00:58:42.000 and what did they do 00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:43.000 I was at Hernando 00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:45.000 Correctional Institution and 00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:48.000 they were in their seventies 00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:49.000 but they looked like they were 00:58:49.000 --> 00:58:51.000 in their forties 00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:52.000 and they came in and we had a 00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:55.000 class and it was called 00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:57.000 Fresh Start well by then I had been 00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:59.000 in prison over ten years and I 00:58:59.000 --> 00:58:62.000 took I was hard I was hard 00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:04.000 I learned not to show my emotions 00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:05.000 and they watched me in the 00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:09.000 class and the wife was just staring at me 00:59:09.000 --> 00:59:12.000 and like what is wrong this lady right 00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:13.000 so they had a packet that said 00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:15.000 past present and future and 00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:17.000 there was a page for each what we do 00:59:17.000 --> 00:59:19.000 to get there where are we now 00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:21.000 and where do we hope to be so 00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:25.000 I'm a writer so I just wrote a 00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:28.000 I just wrote what I wanted and 00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:30.000 what I'd seen I was just vulnerable 00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:32.000 and -- he read it and he looked 00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:34.000 at me and the next class he 00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:35.000 came in he said I would have 00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:37.000 never guessed you've been in 00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:39.000 prison since you were thirteen 00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:41.000 he was like wow you don't look 00:59:41.000 --> 00:59:43.000 like what you've been through 00:59:43.000 --> 00:59:45.000 and that kind of resonated 00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:46.000 with me and so he asks me a 00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:47.000 question because I didn't know 00:59:47.000 --> 00:59:48.000 how to answer who I wanted to 00:59:48.000 --> 00:59:50.000 be right because I don't know 00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:52.000 anything else but what I was 00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:55.000 so he asked me who are you and 00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:56.000 after you get through like the 00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:59.000 superficial like I'm smart I'm 00:59:59.000 --> 00:59:63.000 funny I'm cute then it got to I'm 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:05.000 hurt I'm broken and I'm angry 01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:08.000 and so then all this crap 01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:10.000 and it was like but they didn't 01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:11.000 just see the crap and like oh she's 01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:14.000 got too much going on they seen 01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:16.000 the crap and like there's something 01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:18.000 amazing underneath and they 01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:19.000 said you're the youngest one 01:00:19.000 --> 01:00:21.000 in class but everybody listens 01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:25.000 to you I think you're a teacher 01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:28.000 a preacher and so they cultivated 01:00:28.000 --> 01:00:29.000 those gifts you know how to 01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:31.000 speak so let's so then it 01:00:31.000 --> 01:00:34.000 became why don't you teach a 01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:35.000 class on who you are because 01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:38.000 I spent weeks like digging for 01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:40.000 that answer and -- my faith 01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:42.000 had me going to my Bible out 01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:43.000 if I found every scripture 01:00:43.000 --> 01:00:44.000 where god told me who I was and 01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:45.000 what I was created for and I was like 01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:48.000 I'm chosen I'm accepted 01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:51.000 I'm loved I'm royalty 01:00:51.000 --> 01:00:53.000 and I begin to embrace that 01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:54.000 as my truth and and then I 01:00:54.000 --> 01:00:56.000 started crying all the time 01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:58.000 because I know I can cry now 01:00:58.000 --> 01:00:60.000 and learned like the authentic 01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:02.000 me and so once I knew there 01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:03.000 were wounds that need to be 01:01:03.000 --> 01:01:04.000 healed because if you ask me 01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:05.000 before I met them I would like 01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:06.000 a fine there's nothing wrong 01:01:06.000 --> 01:01:09.000 with me and then it was they 01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:10.000 ask questions that made me 01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:12.000 have to get them honest response 01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:14.000 because the asked me if you got 01:01:14.000 --> 01:01:15.000 out of prison and see your uncle 01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:17.000 because it may happen 01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:18.000 what are you going to do 01:01:18.000 --> 01:01:20.000 my first response now I think I'm 01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:22.000 ready to go home and I wouldn't 01:01:22.000 --> 01:01:23.000 never go back to prison but 01:01:23.000 --> 01:01:25.000 they ask that question I give them 01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:30.000 an honest answer I said I'd kill him 01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:31.000 and they said okay so we're 01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:32.000 gonna have to deal with that 01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:34.000 before you go home 01:01:34.000 --> 01:01:35.000 but I didn't even realize I was still 01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:37.000 angry and I was still hurt 01:01:37.000 --> 01:01:38.000 because it was never resolved 01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:39.000 it was never talked about it 01:01:39.000 --> 01:01:41.000 was never so they helped me 01:01:41.000 --> 01:01:42.000 through that so that by the 01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:44.000 time I did walk out 01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:45.000 walk out of prison it was like 01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:49.000 I forgive you I forgive you 01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:50.000 you don't have to acknowledge what 01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:51.000 you did to me you don't have 01:01:51.000 --> 01:01:53.000 to apologize to me but I've 01:01:53.000 --> 01:01:57.000 been healed and I'm whole 01:01:57.000 --> 01:01:58.000 and that's what they did for me 01:01:58.000 --> 01:01:59.000 and since I've come home 01:01:59.000 --> 01:01:60.000 they've been like my 01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:01.000 when I like went into labor 01:02:01.000 --> 01:02:02.000 at two o'clock in the morning 01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:04.000 that's who I called they 01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:06.000 became my mom and dad and I'd say 01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.000 mommy it hurts so bad and she's like 01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:12.000 don't push until the doctor tells you to 01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:13.000 but when there were 01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:15.000 disappointments I called them 01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:17.000 and so even though because 01:02:17.000 --> 01:02:18.000 a lot of people think in 01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:19.000 order to be something for 01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:20.000 somebody you have to give them 01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:22.000 physically something like I 01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:23.000 can't change because I don't 01:02:23.000 --> 01:02:24.000 have the financial resources 01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:26.000 to but they never gave me 01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:28.000 any of that it was love and 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:30.000 support and encouragement 01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:31.000 and it was like don't give 01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:33.000 up keep trying that's okay 01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:34.000 that that door closed god has 01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:35.000 something bigger for you and 01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:37.000 they reminded me of that and 01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:39.000 that made me keep going I can't 01:02:39.000 --> 01:02:40.000 say that I was super strong 01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:42.000 and pushed through because I 01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:43.000 don't know if I would did that 01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:45.000 without them so now through 01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:48.000 Sponsors I'm a mentor to women 01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:49.000 come out of prison because I 01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:50.000 realize that mentorship is very 01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:53.000 powerful and very important 01:02:53.000 --> 01:02:54.000 because it changed my life 01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:58.000 it made me who I am today 01:02:58.000 --> 01:02:59.000 what as students is something 01:02:59.000 --> 01:02:60.000 that we can do to help with 01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:02.000 this and people are starting 01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:03.000 careers I guess we're going 01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:04.000 to go into this criminal justice field 01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:05.000 what is the best thing that we 01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:08.000 can do moving forward 01:03:08.000 --> 01:03:11.000 I love that question too I was just 01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:13.000 telling professor and this gentleman 01:03:13.000 --> 01:03:16.000 what's your name honey - Tyler 01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:18.000 and who was the young lady with you 01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:20.000 ah Jolie - is she not here - Tyler & Jolie 01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:23.000 were speaking and I 01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:24.000 I told them that I have like 01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:26.000 been on Capital Hill and in senators 01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:29.000 offices and but universities 01:03:29.000 --> 01:03:31.000 high schools middle schools 01:03:31.000 --> 01:03:32.000 are the most exciting places 01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:36.000 to speak and here's why 01:03:36.000 --> 01:03:38.000 as students you are our future 01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:42.000 lawmakers you're the voters 01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:48.000 you guys know how to use 01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:51.000 technology to create a movement 01:03:51.000 --> 01:03:53.000 like some of the most amazing 01:03:53.000 --> 01:03:54.000 movements this MeToo movement 01:03:54.000 --> 01:03:56.000 the Black Lives Matter all of 01:03:56.000 --> 01:03:60.000 these social social socially 01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:01.000 conscious I guess would be the 01:04:01.000 --> 01:04:03.000 word for it movements come from 01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:06.000 our youth that have had their 01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:07.000 eyes opened or what they say 01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:09.000 hashtag woke I see #woke 01:04:09.000 --> 01:04:13.000 said y'all are #woke so when 01:04:13.000 --> 01:04:15.000 you're talking to senators 01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:16.000 like they have the power to 01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:17.000 do something most of them are 01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:19.000 minds made up where you guys 01:04:19.000 --> 01:04:22.000 are like blank canvases so once 01:04:22.000 --> 01:04:26.000 you are aware of the reality 01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:28.000 of juvenile incarceration and 01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:31.000 other -- issues that impact 01:04:31.000 --> 01:04:33.000 juvenile inceraration and the criminal 01:04:33.000 --> 01:04:35.000 justice system as students 01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:38.000 you can use your voices and 01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:39.000 your voices you would think 01:04:39.000 --> 01:04:41.000 because your students are not 01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:42.000 positioned yet right aren't 01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:44.000 important but they are because 01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:46.000 you're the ones that vote 01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:48.000 for the people that are in the 01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:50.000 power to make those decisions 01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:54.000 but your voice in and of itself 01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:59.000 makes waves so as a student 01:04:59.000 --> 01:04:61.000 volunteer right get involved 01:05:01.000 --> 01:05:03.000 let your voice be heard use 01:05:03.000 --> 01:05:06.000 your social media platforms 01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:07.000 because that is right now 01:05:07.000 --> 01:05:08.000 is the most powerful weapon 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:10.000 I think we have in advocacy 01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:13.000 because people respond to peer 01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:15.000 pressure and the peer pressure 01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:18.000 from this age group is most 01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:21.000 powerful voice because they 01:05:21.000 --> 01:05:22.000 know that you guys are going 01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:24.000 to be the ones to -- what's 01:05:24.000 --> 01:05:26.000 the demographic like twenty 01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:27.000 four to thirty two there's 01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:30.000 like the most major -- like all 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:31.000 networks you guys watch certain 01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:33.000 shows the most so your voice 01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:36.000 is just means a lot I can't 01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:37.000 really think of another way to 01:05:37.000 --> 01:05:39.000 say that like you have weight 01:05:39.000 --> 01:05:42.000 more weight than you think when 01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:45.000 it comes to -- like media and 01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:50.000 and what's being printed in 01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:52.000 the newspapers -- if you're 01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:54.000 a writer right your local 01:05:54.000 --> 01:05:55.000 when you see these articles 01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:56.000 labelling these kids 01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:58.000 the super predators or these 01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:04.000 and tell what you think 01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:06.000 about it when you see these 01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:09.000 bills coming up vote and 01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:10.000 write your local legislative 01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:13.000 body and say no we're not 01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:14.000 going to tolerate our children 01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:17.000 being sent to prison and die 01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:19.000 okay so when you were talking to Mia 01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:22.000 were to get out you would want 01:06:22.000 --> 01:06:24.000 to kill your uncle any like how 01:06:24.000 --> 01:06:26.000 to work through that so like my 01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:27.000 question is why didn't you kill 01:06:27.000 --> 01:06:29.000 him when you were thirteen why 01:06:29.000 --> 01:06:30.000 you killed your stepmother 01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:32.000 okay 01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:33.000 okay 01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:36.000 so my uncle lived with my dad 01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:41.000 me my brother and my stepmom 01:06:41.000 --> 01:06:42.000 and in my thirteen 01:06:42.000 --> 01:06:46.000 year old mind I thought 01:06:46.000 --> 01:06:47.000 like you can't just kill one 01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:48.000 adult like you gotta get rid 01:06:48.000 --> 01:06:50.000 of all of because if not 01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:51.000 the other ones will stop you so we're 01:06:51.000 --> 01:06:53.000 thinking we're little or young 01:06:53.000 --> 01:06:56.000 we're twelve and thirteen 01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:58.000 my it wasn't just him the 01:06:58.000 --> 01:06:60.000 original plan was all of them 01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:02.000 I was going to kill all of them 01:07:02.000 --> 01:07:05.000 so -- we knew that they 01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:07.000 had to be separated in one by 01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:10.000 one because we knew as kids 01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:11.000 we like couldn't take all 01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:13.000 three adults so it just so 01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:15.000 happened that my dad and my 01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:17.000 uncle were not home and 01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:20.000 my -- dad's girlfriend was 01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:22.000 there first and so we said well 01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.000 she'll be first and then when 01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:25.000 my dad comes home I'll kill my 01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:28.000 dad and when my uncles comes home 01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:30.000 I will kill him what happened 01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:33.000 was that the reality of taking 01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:34.000 a life is not the same as we've 01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:39.000 seen on TV or on video games 01:07:39.000 --> 01:07:45.000 it was -- really traumatic 01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:47.000 my brother couldn't go through 01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:50.000 with it I was heartened enough 01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:51.000 where I was going to go through 01:07:51.000 --> 01:07:53.000 with it my brother begged me 01:07:53.000 --> 01:07:55.000 to leave the house he said 01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:60.000 please don't kill my dad so 01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:03.000 we left we just left the house 01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:10.000 incident will never leave my 01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:12.000 mind -- it's so funny because 01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:15.000 you see on TV like when they 01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:16.000 have like these clean up crime 01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:17.000 scenes like they get bleach 01:08:17.000 --> 01:08:21.000 latest wipe it up -- we'd tried 01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:22.000 to like clean it up it doesn't 01:08:22.000 --> 01:08:24.000 come off like that it smeared 01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:28.000 it was it was gruesome and 01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:30.000 so -- once the reality of 01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:33.000 what we did became apparent we 01:08:33.000 --> 01:08:34.000 couldn't go through with the 01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:37.000 rest of it -- I thank god that 01:08:37.000 --> 01:08:40.000 my brother convinced me not to 01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:42.000 because me and my dad have a 01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:45.000 pretty okay relationship now 01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:48.000 and -- I don't want that it we 01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:51.000 wouldn't have if we would have 01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:52.000 and then my uncle passed away 01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:56.000 in prison he violated probation 01:08:56.000 --> 01:08:58.000 he'd been around a minor and 01:08:58.000 --> 01:08:62.000 he died in jail so karma 01:09:02.000 --> 01:09:07.000 took care of it 01:09:07.000 --> 01:09:09.000 so after you got out of prison 01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:11.000 I guess my question is like how 01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:12.000 did your family like everyone 01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:14.000 in your family kind of react 01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:15.000 like do you still have like 01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:17.000 are you close to them have 01:09:17.000 --> 01:09:19.000 accepted like you've changed 01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:21.000 and that it was a mistake 01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:24.000 and also with your kids growing 01:09:24.000 --> 01:09:25.000 up I guess what are you gonna 01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:27.000 tell them because I feel like 01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:29.000 I'd be really hard to like come 01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:30.000 out and tell your kids about 01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:31.000 a mistake that you made so 01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:33.000 long ago and for them to look 01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:34.000 at you differently because of 01:09:34.000 --> 01:09:37.000 that okay I'm gonna answer I'm 01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:38.000 answer the kid question first 01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:40.000 because that's the easiest one 01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:46.000 so -- I want I believe that our 01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:49.000 children are reflection of us 01:09:49.000 --> 01:09:50.000 so I'm sure by the time my kids 01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:51.000 are old enough to understand 01:09:51.000 --> 01:09:52.000 what happens they'll be as 01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:55.000 big of advocates as I am like 01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:59.000 free the children so so -- 01:09:59.000 --> 01:09:61.000 I will always be transparent 01:10:01.000 --> 01:10:02.000 them because even now my 01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:04.000 my decisions that I made twenty 01:10:04.000 --> 01:10:07.000 years ago affect my children 01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:08.000 the fact that I have not been 01:10:08.000 --> 01:10:10.000 able to rent a home yet affects 01:10:10.000 --> 01:10:12.000 my children when I was not 01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:14.000 able to have a job that was 01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:15.000 a livable wage it affected my 01:10:15.000 --> 01:10:17.000 children and as a mother 01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:19.000 nothing broke my heart more 01:10:19.000 --> 01:10:21.000 than that so but I will always 01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:23.000 be honest with my kids because 01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:26.000 like social media is king so 01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:28.000 I'm sure they will see it 01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:29.000 it will pop up their friends will 01:10:29.000 --> 01:10:31.000 hear about it due to the very nature 01:10:31.000 --> 01:10:32.000 of my work and the fact that 01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:33.000 I travel everywhere telling my 01:10:33.000 --> 01:10:36.000 story it's they're friends at 01:10:36.000 --> 01:10:37.000 school are going to hear about 01:10:37.000 --> 01:10:38.000 it and so the only thing I can 01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:39.000 say is that I'll be honest with 01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:41.000 them an equipment them what 01:10:41.000 --> 01:10:44.000 they need in order to be -- 01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:46.000 a defender of their mama but 01:10:46.000 --> 01:10:47.000 not feeling like that's really 01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:48.000 their position like mommy can 01:10:48.000 --> 01:10:51.000 defend herself so and the hope 01:10:51.000 --> 01:10:54.000 is that I love them as much as 01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:56.000 I can I adore my children and 01:10:56.000 --> 01:10:57.000 so they would never look at 01:10:57.000 --> 01:10:58.000 me because I'm not gonna 01:10:58.000 --> 01:10:59.000 raise them in a way that they 01:10:59.000 --> 01:10:61.000 judge people based on their 01:11:01.000 --> 01:11:03.000 mistakes now as far as my 01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:05.000 family it's a work in progress 01:11:05.000 --> 01:11:12.000 girlfriend because we -- 01:11:12.000 --> 01:11:13.000 just because I had a mentor 01:11:13.000 --> 01:11:15.000 that helped me learn to feel 01:11:15.000 --> 01:11:16.000 and heal my family didn't 01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:19.000 have that and so my dad still 01:11:19.000 --> 01:11:21.000 angry he's not in a great 01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:23.000 place in his life and it's my 01:11:23.000 --> 01:11:27.000 fault you know and he thinks 01:11:27.000 --> 01:11:29.000 it's my fault but at a certain 01:11:29.000 --> 01:11:31.000 point you have to take full 01:11:31.000 --> 01:11:32.000 responsibility for your own 01:11:32.000 --> 01:11:34.000 decisions right like I can 01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:36.000 be a crappy person right now 01:11:36.000 --> 01:11:37.000 blame it on my childhood but 01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:39.000 that's kind of immature like 01:11:39.000 --> 01:11:40.000 there comes a point where 01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:41.000 you make your own decisions 01:11:41.000 --> 01:11:43.000 you and I had to learn that 01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:44.000 when my family if I spent my 01:11:44.000 --> 01:11:46.000 entire life trying to make up 01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:47.000 for the mistake I made when 01:11:47.000 --> 01:11:48.000 I was thirteen I would never 01:11:48.000 --> 01:11:50.000 live I would always be walking 01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:52.000 around indebted and letting 01:11:52.000 --> 01:11:54.000 them make my decisions for me 01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:55.000 and there had to come a point 01:11:55.000 --> 01:11:56.000 where I was like listen this 01:11:56.000 --> 01:11:58.000 is my life I'm going to do what 01:11:58.000 --> 01:11:60.000 I want and I want to make you 01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:01.000 proud I want to make you happy 01:12:01.000 --> 01:12:05.000 but I can't live my life like 01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:06.000 I owe it to you like it's your 01:12:06.000 --> 01:12:09.000 life I can't give you back what 01:12:09.000 --> 01:12:10.000 I lost and either you can forgive 01:12:10.000 --> 01:12:12.000 me for it or you can move on 01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:13.000 and that's a painful place to 01:12:13.000 --> 01:12:14.000 be because everyone wants their 01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:17.000 family I want my family in my 01:12:17.000 --> 01:12:19.000 life but a lot of them don't 01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:22.000 agree with this they're saying let 01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:24.000 it go it's over don't keep 01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:27.000 bringing it up don't and 01:12:27.000 --> 01:12:29.000 and here I am in the media 01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:31.000 on social media on because 01:12:31.000 --> 01:12:33.000 I promised the people that 01:12:33.000 --> 01:12:34.000 I've left behind I would 01:12:34.000 --> 01:12:35.000 be their voice that I would 01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:38.000 fight for them and I took 01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:39.000 that promise seriously they 01:12:39.000 --> 01:12:40.000 raised me they were my family 01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:42.000 most of my family doesn't like 01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:43.000 me communicating with the 01:12:43.000 --> 01:12:44.000 people that I met when I was 01:12:44.000 --> 01:12:47.000 in prison they're my family 01:12:47.000 --> 01:12:50.000 they don't understand that so 01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:52.000 they tried to support as best 01:12:52.000 --> 01:12:54.000 as they can but you know it's 01:12:54.000 --> 01:12:55.000 just like every family they 01:12:55.000 --> 01:12:56.000 have their issues they have 01:12:56.000 --> 01:12:59.000 to deal with them -- I always 01:12:59.000 --> 01:12:66.000 do my part to be open and 01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:08.000 and listen and validate 01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:09.000 validate their feelings their 01:13:09.000 --> 01:13:10.000 feelings are valid but I 01:13:10.000 --> 01:13:17.000 can't embrace them as my own 01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:19.000 so hi over here when you 01:13:19.000 --> 01:13:21.000 go head okay so I was 01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:22.000 kind of reading a little 01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:24.000 article about you before 01:13:24.000 --> 01:13:29.000 no you didn't google me no 01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:30.000 I was expecting you guys to 01:13:30.000 --> 01:13:33.000 you're good so it's said that 01:13:33.000 --> 01:13:35.000 when you were released you 01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:39.000 have a life of probation yes 01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:46.000 like what does that entail 01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:47.000 you're free but you're not free 01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:51.000 considered reduced supervision 01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:53.000 because I don't really have 01:13:53.000 --> 01:13:54.000 the typical things that 01:13:54.000 --> 01:13:57.000 make you high profile -- 01:13:57.000 --> 01:13:58.000 I'm basically paying them 01:13:58.000 --> 01:13:60.000 forty dollars a month to 01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:01.000 supervise me to make sure I 01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:02.000 don't leave the state without 01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:07.000 permission and not smoke weed 01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:18.000 but -- being serious - I 01:14:18.000 --> 01:14:19.000 there's always a fear that a 01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:21.000 traffic ticket could send me 01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:28.000 back you know so it's like 01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:30.000 I hope one day to get to 01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:31.000 get off of it but it's like 01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:35.000 having -- to put it in a way that you could 01:14:35.000 --> 01:14:36.000 it's like a teacher standing 01:14:36.000 --> 01:14:38.000 over you all the time because 01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:40.000 making sure you're doing right thing so 01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:41.000 but I don't know anything I 01:14:41.000 --> 01:14:43.000 do what I'm supposed to do it 01:14:43.000 --> 01:14:44.000 kind of sucks sometimes if I 01:14:44.000 --> 01:14:45.000 want to take a vacation they 01:14:45.000 --> 01:14:47.000 could tell me no I can't go 01:14:47.000 --> 01:14:50.000 which isn't ideal because I 01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:51.000 want to be free free right 01:14:51.000 --> 01:14:52.000 I want to be able to decide 01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:53.000 to move to North Carolina if 01:14:53.000 --> 01:14:54.000 I want to but I can't because 01:14:54.000 --> 01:14:56.000 there's a process for that when you move 01:14:56.000 --> 01:14:57.000 state to state you have had 01:14:57.000 --> 01:14:58.000 immediate family member there 01:14:58.000 --> 01:14:59.000 you have to you know they're 01:14:59.000 --> 01:14:62.000 still policies and guidelines 01:15:02.000 --> 01:15:05.000 that I have to go by so -- but 01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:07.000 that is an option one day to 01:15:07.000 --> 01:15:12.000 get it removed possibly and -- 01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:13.000 because I think that it's a 01:15:13.000 --> 01:15:15.000 it's a life sentence I have it 01:15:15.000 --> 01:15:17.000 for the rest of my life which 01:15:17.000 --> 01:15:19.000 as you can see it should be 01:15:19.000 --> 01:15:20.000 illegal and unconstitutional 01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:24.000 at this point so going in 01:15:24.000 --> 01:15:25.000 and being incarcerated so 01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:27.000 young you go through a lot 01:15:27.000 --> 01:15:29.000 of changes being a woman in 01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:31.000 coming into your body and 01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:34.000 mentally and everything how 01:15:34.000 --> 01:15:36.000 did being incarcerated affect 01:15:36.000 --> 01:15:38.000 you changing and developing and 01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:40.000 growing into the person that 01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:43.000 you are without having you know 01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:46.000 and you said your mentors 01:15:46.000 --> 01:15:47.000 didn't come in until later in 01:15:47.000 --> 01:15:48.000 your life so without a mentor 01:15:48.000 --> 01:15:55.000 how did you navigate that 01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:60.000 I love this class yeah 01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:02.000 prior to me being incarcerated 01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:03.000 because of the sexual trauma I 01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:05.000 went through I had a girlfriend 01:16:05.000 --> 01:16:07.000 six grade of course now I'm 01:16:07.000 --> 01:16:08.000 in a situation where I'm 01:16:08.000 --> 01:16:10.000 surrounded by women and I'm a 01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:11.000 teenager right with like raging 01:16:11.000 --> 01:16:13.000 hormones figuring out my body 01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:14.000 and of course ended up with a 01:16:14.000 --> 01:16:17.000 lot older woman that was ended 01:16:17.000 --> 01:16:23.000 up dating for almost four years 01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:24.000 I went through domestic violence 01:16:24.000 --> 01:16:26.000 a lot of people think that's 01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:27.000 not possible I think it was worse 01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:30.000 with another woman but I 01:16:30.000 --> 01:16:34.000 navigated it with the guidance 01:16:34.000 --> 01:16:36.000 of other women in prison and 01:16:36.000 --> 01:16:38.000 that wasn't always the best 01:16:38.000 --> 01:16:40.000 road a lot of the things that 01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:42.000 they taught me about life once 01:16:42.000 --> 01:16:43.000 I got here realized it didn't 01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:45.000 work out here we are really 01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:47.000 big -- and I'm sure Trevor 01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:49.000 will agree there's like this culture 01:16:49.000 --> 01:16:51.000 with its own rules and its own 01:16:51.000 --> 01:16:52.000 guidelines so there was a 01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:54.000 I remember an incident when I was 01:16:54.000 --> 01:16:56.000 at my first job my coworker 01:16:56.000 --> 01:16:59.000 stood behind me like get out 01:16:59.000 --> 01:16:61.000 of my spot and it instantly 01:17:01.000 --> 01:17:03.000 that institutional mentality kicked in and 01:17:03.000 --> 01:17:05.000 before I knew it I had turned around 01:17:05.000 --> 01:17:08.000 and back handed her -- then I was like 01:17:08.000 --> 01:17:11.000 oh no this isn't 30 days in 01:17:11.000 --> 01:17:12.000 in a hole like they could 01:17:12.000 --> 01:17:13.000 violate me and send me back 01:17:13.000 --> 01:17:15.000 to prison this is assault because 01:17:15.000 --> 01:17:16.000 this world doesn't work like 01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:19.000 that world so that became 01:17:19.000 --> 01:17:21.000 ingrained in me for ten years 01:17:21.000 --> 01:17:24.000 and so it took longer to get 01:17:24.000 --> 01:17:25.000 it out and to realize what 01:17:25.000 --> 01:17:27.000 the norms were out here in the 01:17:27.000 --> 01:17:29.000 your social circles in a job 01:17:29.000 --> 01:17:32.000 setting in a even now having a 01:17:32.000 --> 01:17:33.000 job where I'm in leadership 01:17:33.000 --> 01:17:35.000 where I have input in how 01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:36.000 things are run and what kind 01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:38.000 of policy there is that's hard 01:17:38.000 --> 01:17:40.000 for me because for excuse me 01:17:40.000 --> 01:17:41.000 seventeen years I was in an 01:17:41.000 --> 01:17:42.000 environment where somebody was 01:17:42.000 --> 01:17:44.000 always telling me what to do 01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:45.000 like this is what you do so 01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:46.000 when I got some independence 01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:48.000 and I could navigate the world 01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:50.000 how I wanted to I really don't 01:17:50.000 --> 01:17:51.000 know what to do because I'm 01:17:51.000 --> 01:17:53.000 so used to routine people tell 01:17:53.000 --> 01:17:54.000 me what to do and that's one 01:17:54.000 --> 01:17:55.000 of those things where it's 01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:56.000 like the what the what the 01:17:56.000 --> 01:17:57.000 reality of juvenile incarceration 01:17:57.000 --> 01:17:59.000 looks like because 01:17:59.000 --> 01:17:60.000 those are the things people 01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:02.000 think employment and getting 01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:05.000 the money a house or a job or 01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:06.000 that's usually what re-entry 01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:08.000 focuses on but it's things 01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:10.000 like that there are emotional 01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:11.000 and mental in social that 01:18:11.000 --> 01:18:13.000 need to be addressed in order 01:18:13.000 --> 01:18:17.000 for there to be true -- like 01:18:17.000 --> 01:18:19.000 acknowledgment of the re-entries 01:18:19.000 --> 01:18:20.000 for people that are formerly 01:18:20.000 --> 01:18:24.000 incarcerated so yeah it was 01:18:24.000 --> 01:18:27.000 it was just a different culture 01:18:27.000 --> 01:18:30.000 and a culture you learn very 01:18:30.000 --> 01:18:34.000 quickly as it always is right 01:18:34.000 --> 01:18:36.000 I wanted to ask about your 01:18:36.000 --> 01:18:39.000 brother and like the situations 01:18:39.000 --> 01:18:40.000 that he had to be in and 01:18:40.000 --> 01:18:42.000 how he dealt with it and 01:18:42.000 --> 01:18:45.000 like what happened with him 01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:51.000 my baby 01:18:51.000 --> 01:18:52.000 it's funny that 01:18:52.000 --> 01:18:56.000 this whole situation 01:18:56.000 --> 01:18:61.000 thought of protecting him 01:19:01.000 --> 01:19:03.000 never knowing that I would 01:19:03.000 --> 01:19:07.000 put him in a worse position 01:19:07.000 --> 01:19:10.000 but the good news is and excuse me 01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:12.000 y'all I told you I learned how 01:19:12.000 --> 01:19:14.000 to cry like it on now like 01:19:14.000 --> 01:19:19.000 anytime I'm letting it out -- but he is 01:19:19.000 --> 01:19:22.000 doing amazing I think there's a 01:19:22.000 --> 01:19:24.000 difference and why I specialize 01:19:24.000 --> 01:19:27.000 with women women seem to have 01:19:27.000 --> 01:19:29.000 a harder time transitioning my 01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:31.000 brother was turning down jobs 01:19:31.000 --> 01:19:32.000 it could be because he was in 01:19:32.000 --> 01:19:33.000 a different state he was in 01:19:33.000 --> 01:19:36.000 Florida he was turning down jobs 01:19:36.000 --> 01:19:39.000 because he men's prisons tend to focus 01:19:39.000 --> 01:19:41.000 more trades and manual labor 01:19:41.000 --> 01:19:43.000 in but he's just like this 01:19:43.000 --> 01:19:47.000 crazy like dedicated person 01:19:47.000 --> 01:19:50.000 so he was working for other 01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:51.000 people in the decided you know 01:19:51.000 --> 01:19:52.000 what I'm tired of people 01:19:52.000 --> 01:19:53.000 telling me how much I can 01:19:53.000 --> 01:19:55.000 make or whether his criminal 01:19:55.000 --> 01:19:56.000 history so he started his own 01:19:56.000 --> 01:19:58.000 business when he came home 01:19:58.000 --> 01:19:60.000 so in a while he didn't last 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.000 year so he has his own shower 01:20:01.000 --> 01:20:03.000 installation business he's 01:20:03.000 --> 01:20:04.000 doing really really good he is 01:20:04.000 --> 01:20:06.000 like the shower installation 01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:09.000 person of central Florida -- 01:20:09.000 --> 01:20:11.000 but -- emotionally the same thing 01:20:11.000 --> 01:20:13.000 that I go through most formally 01:20:13.000 --> 01:20:15.000 incarcerated youth go through 01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:17.000 this trying to figure out who 01:20:17.000 --> 01:20:19.000 he is as a free man because 01:20:19.000 --> 01:20:24.000 while he was in there -- 01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:25.000 he had different needs out 01:20:25.000 --> 01:20:27.000 here and I think he did the 01:20:27.000 --> 01:20:28.000 same thing I did with the girls 01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:29.000 of course he's been locked 01:20:29.000 --> 01:20:33.000 up with -- guys forever as 01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:37.000 was dating other women in there 01:20:37.000 --> 01:20:38.000 wasn't so of course naturally 01:20:38.000 --> 01:20:40.000 he went a little wild when 01:20:40.000 --> 01:20:43.000 he came home he was like wow women 01:20:43.000 --> 01:20:45.000 but this last year he got 01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:47.000 married and he has a daughter 01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:50.000 and so he's doing great I think 01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:51.000 most of his troubles are 01:20:51.000 --> 01:20:55.000 probably more -- emotional as 01:20:55.000 --> 01:20:57.000 most people in re-entry are 01:20:57.000 --> 01:20:60.000 and -- and navigating if you're 01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:01.000 not around women like you don't 01:21:01.000 --> 01:21:03.000 understand like how women think 01:21:03.000 --> 01:21:05.000 and what we react that way 01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:09.000 and why we're so extra it 01:21:09.000 --> 01:21:12.000 and so -- we have each other 01:21:12.000 --> 01:21:13.000 to kind of lean on on that because I 01:21:13.000 --> 01:21:16.000 know oftentimes I don't understand 01:21:16.000 --> 01:21:17.000 guys either so I'm like help me out 01:21:17.000 --> 01:21:19.000 brother so we're best friends 01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:20.000 we talk three or four times 01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:21.000 a day sometimes we just stay 01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:22.000 on the phone with each other 01:21:22.000 --> 01:21:23.000 and don't say anything my 01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:25.000 we're doing routine daily stuff 01:21:25.000 --> 01:21:27.000 just because no one better 01:21:27.000 --> 01:21:28.000 understands what we're going 01:21:28.000 --> 01:21:31.000 through than we do because we 01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:33.000 we know we know what it's like 01:21:33.000 --> 01:21:34.000 you guys I want to say something 01:21:34.000 --> 01:21:36.000 really neat I go trick or treat 01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:37.000 every year and I try to say 01:21:37.000 --> 01:21:39.000 it's because of my kids but 01:21:39.000 --> 01:21:40.000 it's because I didn't get to 01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:42.000 do it when I go to the fair 01:21:42.000 --> 01:21:43.000 I get like one of everything 01:21:43.000 --> 01:21:45.000 I've got like a cotton candy in 01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:46.000 this hand I've got one of those 01:21:46.000 --> 01:21:47.000 things called the elephant ear 01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:49.000 things I've got one of those and 01:21:49.000 --> 01:21:50.000 then I hurry up and eat those 01:21:50.000 --> 01:21:51.000 and get like a stomach ache 01:21:51.000 --> 01:21:52.000 and I'm grabbing something I 01:21:52.000 --> 01:21:54.000 play all the games and he 01:21:54.000 --> 01:21:56.000 understands because some people 01:21:56.000 --> 01:21:57.000 are like oh my god you're like 01:21:57.000 --> 01:21:58.000 thirty four years old and 01:21:58.000 --> 01:21:59.000 you're acting like a big kid well he 01:21:59.000 --> 01:21:61.000 understands because I never 01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:03.000 got to be a kid so everything 01:22:03.000 --> 01:22:04.000 so I take my kids everywhere 01:22:04.000 --> 01:22:05.000 we go to aquariums we go to 01:22:05.000 --> 01:22:09.000 zoos we go to and it's a really for me 01:22:09.000 --> 01:22:10.000 don't even care I might 01:22:10.000 --> 01:22:12.000 want to do well this summer 01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:13.000 and they don't remember 01:22:13.000 --> 01:22:16.000 it but I'm like I will 01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:17.000 thank you Catherine for 01:22:17.000 --> 01:22:19.000 speaking you're a very engaging 01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:21.000 speaker and I really appreciate you 01:22:21.000 --> 01:22:24.000 being here my question is -- 01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:26.000 what's it like for connecting 01:22:26.000 --> 01:22:27.000 with it your family that's 01:22:27.000 --> 01:22:29.000 inside I mean are you able to 01:22:29.000 --> 01:22:31.000 visit or how do you communicate 01:22:31.000 --> 01:22:32.000 with the women that you grew 01:22:32.000 --> 01:22:35.000 up with -- we communicate via 01:22:35.000 --> 01:22:37.000 email they now they didn't 01:22:37.000 --> 01:22:38.000 have that when I was there 01:22:38.000 --> 01:22:39.000 we had snail mail so they've 01:22:39.000 --> 01:22:40.000 gotten fancy in DOC now 01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:42.000 but they have email or I can 01:22:42.000 --> 01:22:43.000 send them stamps I can spend 01:22:43.000 --> 01:22:45.000 the money for commissary 01:22:45.000 --> 01:22:46.000 because of my probation status 01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:47.000 in the state of Florida I am 01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:49.000 not allowed to go in the prison 01:22:49.000 --> 01:22:51.000 to visit them -- I can't even 01:22:51.000 --> 01:22:52.000 get approved for video visits 01:22:52.000 --> 01:22:55.000 which I wish I could but -- 01:22:55.000 --> 01:22:56.000 they kind of live vicariously 01:22:56.000 --> 01:22:57.000 through me like I send them 01:22:57.000 --> 01:22:59.000 pictures of like new shoes that 01:22:59.000 --> 01:22:60.000 are out and I'm like look what 01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:02.000 they're wearing now and so 01:23:02.000 --> 01:23:04.000 it I know what it's like when 01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:05.000 you're in there like that gives 01:23:05.000 --> 01:23:07.000 you like so much hope and 01:23:07.000 --> 01:23:10.000 so -- because of my experience 01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:11.000 because I did come from in 01:23:11.000 --> 01:23:13.000 there I'm like uniquely 01:23:13.000 --> 01:23:15.000 in a position to know exactly 01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:16.000 what they need to make em happy 01:23:16.000 --> 01:23:18.000 so just get pictures of 01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:20.000 the kids in when I eat always 01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:23.000 take pictures of it so I can look at this 01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:24.000 you would think that would be 01:23:24.000 --> 01:23:25.000 cruel but I know that they're 01:23:25.000 --> 01:23:26.000 really excited about those 01:23:26.000 --> 01:23:30.000 crab legs so and then to know 01:23:30.000 --> 01:23:32.000 that I'm there are people out 01:23:32.000 --> 01:23:34.000 here working to get them home 01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:35.000 because a lot of my friends 01:23:35.000 --> 01:23:37.000 are juvenile lifers they got 01:23:37.000 --> 01:23:39.000 re-sentenced to de facto sentences -- 01:23:39.000 --> 01:23:41.000 which means the state 01:23:41.000 --> 01:23:42.000 of Florida said that they could 01:23:42.000 --> 01:23:43.000 give them like but then they 01:23:43.000 --> 01:23:45.000 re-sentenced them to 85 years 01:23:45.000 --> 01:23:47.000 which law and all intensive 01:23:47.000 --> 01:23:49.000 purposes still a life sentence 01:23:49.000 --> 01:23:52.000 but legally it's legal so -- 01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:53.000 that they know that someone's 01:23:53.000 --> 01:23:56.000 still fighting gives them hope 01:23:56.000 --> 01:23:61.000 so yeah thank you welcome back 01:24:01.000 --> 01:24:02.000 you send photos and stuff to 01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:03.000 your friends that are still in 01:24:05.000 --> 01:24:07.000 when you were in that kept you 01:24:17.000 --> 01:24:18.000 my big thing because I wouldn't 01:24:18.000 --> 01:24:21.000 want that -- I worked with 01:24:21.000 --> 01:24:23.000 out a lot most the people that 01:24:23.000 --> 01:24:24.000 were in the class that I was 01:24:24.000 --> 01:24:28.000 teaching and it was called -- 01:24:28.000 --> 01:24:32.000 self confidence vs. self identity knowing who you were 01:24:32.000 --> 01:24:34.000 in Christ and it was for women 01:24:34.000 --> 01:24:35.000 who have been sexually abused 01:24:35.000 --> 01:24:37.000 a lot of them were short timers 01:24:37.000 --> 01:24:39.000 so they would go to the class 01:24:39.000 --> 01:24:40.000 and do the curriculum then after 01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:42.000 eight weeks and then also went 01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:43.000 home and they would write me 01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:45.000 and they were like in healthy 01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:47.000 relationships which is crazy 01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:48.000 that I taught that class but 01:24:48.000 --> 01:24:51.000 obviously I didn't do it so 01:24:51.000 --> 01:24:52.000 easy for us to do that right 01:24:52.000 --> 01:24:53.000 tell other people what they're 01:24:53.000 --> 01:24:55.000 supposed to do but -- but they 01:24:55.000 --> 01:24:57.000 were write me and like they 01:24:57.000 --> 01:24:58.000 would do the same things any 01:24:58.000 --> 01:24:59.000 pictures of what I'm doing 01:24:59.000 --> 01:24:60.000 so great a lot of times it 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.000 it lasts I may get one or two 01:25:02.000 --> 01:25:03.000 letters sometimes just one but 01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:05.000 that motivated me and I was 01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:08.000 also motivated by -- like I 01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:10.000 said I was married my last year 01:25:10.000 --> 01:25:12.000 and we had been together two 01:25:12.000 --> 01:25:14.000 and a half years and -- that 01:25:14.000 --> 01:25:15.000 was a big motivation because I 01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:17.000 like I always wanted to be a wife 01:25:17.000 --> 01:25:19.000 and a mom like I know like in 01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:20.000 this day and age like all these 01:25:20.000 --> 01:25:21.000 women are like independent 01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:23.000 and I can get tell they're like 01:25:23.000 --> 01:25:24.000 I don't wanna be a stay at home I wanna be 01:25:24.000 --> 01:25:28.000 a momma -- so that motivated 01:25:28.000 --> 01:25:30.000 me to it didn't turn out the 01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:31.000 way I thought it was but that 01:25:31.000 --> 01:25:32.000 while I was inside it was 01:25:32.000 --> 01:25:36.000 like a huge motivation for me 01:25:36.000 --> 01:25:37.000 so I have a couple questions but they're all 01:25:37.000 --> 01:25:39.000 kind of the same - one what is 01:25:39.000 --> 01:25:41.000 your relationship with your 01:25:41.000 --> 01:25:43.000 probation officer now and does 01:25:43.000 --> 01:25:44.000 he support what you're doing 01:25:44.000 --> 01:25:46.000 or like how what are his views 01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:49.000 on it and also since you can't 01:25:49.000 --> 01:25:51.000 move states -- like I don't 01:25:51.000 --> 01:25:52.000 really know how it works but 01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:53.000 can you go out of state on 01:25:53.000 --> 01:25:54.000 probation like how does that 01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:56.000 work with you like going around 01:25:56.000 --> 01:25:57.000 speaking in different places if 01:25:57.000 --> 01:25:60.000 if it violates your probation 01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:02.000 I guess it what if I did not 01:26:02.000 --> 01:26:03.000 get permission I can request 01:26:03.000 --> 01:26:04.000 a travel permit because it's 01:26:04.000 --> 01:26:05.000 for work like I was in New 01:26:05.000 --> 01:26:06.000 York last week I'll be going 01:26:06.000 --> 01:26:10.000 to New York again Wednesday -- 01:26:10.000 --> 01:26:13.000 they -- I don't technically 01:26:13.000 --> 01:26:14.000 have a probation officer per 01:26:14.000 --> 01:26:16.000 se because I'm a what's called 01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:18.000 reduced supervision after couple 01:26:18.000 --> 01:26:19.000 this is what a probation office 01:26:19.000 --> 01:26:20.000 they're like well we don't 01:26:20.000 --> 01:26:21.000 really have any areas that 01:26:21.000 --> 01:26:23.000 you need to work on we don't 01:26:23.000 --> 01:26:24.000 not substance abuse or anger 01:26:24.000 --> 01:26:26.000 management or so then they just 01:26:26.000 --> 01:26:27.000 bumped me down where all I have to 01:26:27.000 --> 01:26:30.000 do is put it a online report pay 01:26:30.000 --> 01:26:32.000 my forty dollars online and 01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:34.000 unless I need a travel permit 01:26:34.000 --> 01:26:35.000 I never want to see anybody 01:26:35.000 --> 01:26:36.000 face to face well now they've 01:26:36.000 --> 01:26:38.000 arranged it where I don't even 01:26:38.000 --> 01:26:39.000 have to do that we can email 01:26:39.000 --> 01:26:40.000 them give them dates because 01:26:40.000 --> 01:26:41.000 they know I'm traveling for 01:26:41.000 --> 01:26:44.000 work and then it's done now 01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:47.000 for recreational purposes I'm a 01:26:47.000 --> 01:26:49.000 little bit more limited because 01:26:49.000 --> 01:26:50.000 there's only a certain amount 01:26:50.000 --> 01:26:51.000 of time because I thought my 01:26:51.000 --> 01:26:52.000 head all I'm working from home 01:26:52.000 --> 01:26:54.000 now right so my -- I can just 01:26:54.000 --> 01:26:56.000 take my kids go to Florida 01:26:56.000 --> 01:26:57.000 for two months and work from 01:26:57.000 --> 01:26:59.000 there and then come back well 01:26:59.000 --> 01:26:60.000 no it doesn't work like that 01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:01.000 there's only a certain amount 01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:02.000 of time I can be out of state 01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:03.000 and I have to come back and 01:27:03.000 --> 01:27:04.000 then fly back and that's a little expensive 01:27:04.000 --> 01:27:09.000 so -- while there's limitations when 01:27:09.000 --> 01:27:10.000 you're reduced supervision like 01:27:10.000 --> 01:27:12.000 me there's not a lot so all I 01:27:12.000 --> 01:27:14.000 do is sin I have to let them 01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:16.000 staying who I'm going with what 01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:18.000 dates and then show them that 01:27:18.000 --> 01:27:20.000 I have a return trip I can't 01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:22.000 have like open ended ticket 01:27:22.000 --> 01:27:23.000 I can't be like oh I'm just 01:27:23.000 --> 01:27:25.000 going to fly to North Carolina 01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:26.000 and or in they have to have 01:27:26.000 --> 01:27:29.000 a certain amount of -- like 01:27:29.000 --> 01:27:31.000 pre warning I guess I could 01:27:31.000 --> 01:27:33.000 two week advance I can't call 01:27:33.000 --> 01:27:34.000 them be Iike hey tomorrow I want 01:27:34.000 --> 01:27:37.000 to go to -- Nebraska or if 01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:38.000 something happened like my dad 01:27:38.000 --> 01:27:40.000 did just half of heart failure 01:27:40.000 --> 01:27:41.000 a couple months ago I couldn't 01:27:41.000 --> 01:27:43.000 just get on a plane and go 01:27:43.000 --> 01:27:45.000 they would be arresting me at the airport 01:27:45.000 --> 01:27:47.000 so this is really isn't a question 01:27:47.000 --> 01:27:48.000 it's more of a comment 01:27:50.000 --> 01:27:53.000 it admiring that you're going 01:27:53.000 --> 01:27:55.000 out and you're trying to be an 01:27:55.000 --> 01:27:57.000 advocate for youth incarcerated 01:27:57.000 --> 01:27:61.000 and everything -- and I guess 01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:03.000 for me it's kind of inspiring 01:28:03.000 --> 01:28:05.000 for me because I'm a advocate 01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:08.000 for foster and adoptive youth and 01:28:08.000 --> 01:28:12.000 it's -- kinda helps me get a 01:28:12.000 --> 01:28:14.000 light to like see what I need 01:28:14.000 --> 01:28:15.000 to do to like help them along 01:28:15.000 --> 01:28:19.000 as well and I just I guess I 01:28:19.000 --> 01:28:20.000 just really want to say thank 01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:22.000 you for what you're doing so 01:28:22.000 --> 01:28:25.000 thank you you're welcome and 01:28:25.000 --> 01:28:26.000 for what you're doing for your 01:28:26.000 --> 01:28:29.000 doing and I'm going to assume 01:28:29.000 --> 01:28:31.000 experience there's something 01:28:31.000 --> 01:28:33.000 authentic about when you're 01:28:33.000 --> 01:28:34.000 advocating for something that 01:28:34.000 --> 01:28:35.000 you lived through like if you 01:28:35.000 --> 01:28:38.000 ever go to a counselor -- 01:28:38.000 --> 01:28:39.000 like what the situation I 01:28:39.000 --> 01:28:40.000 went through I love that my 01:28:40.000 --> 01:28:42.000 counselor had been through a 01:28:42.000 --> 01:28:43.000 domestic violence situation and 01:28:43.000 --> 01:28:45.000 conquered it right because she 01:28:45.000 --> 01:28:47.000 can understand and relate to 01:28:47.000 --> 01:28:49.000 what I was going through not 01:28:49.000 --> 01:28:51.000 saying that you have to have 01:28:51.000 --> 01:28:53.000 it in order to be passion about 01:28:53.000 --> 01:28:54.000 this you have to be impacted 01:28:54.000 --> 01:28:56.000 by it but when you use your 01:28:56.000 --> 01:28:58.000 voice that comes across as 01:28:58.000 --> 01:28:60.000 people as authentic and real 01:29:00.000 --> 01:29:03.000 and so it's a lot more powerful 01:29:03.000 --> 01:29:04.000 you would think just you don't 01:29:04.000 --> 01:29:06.000 have to have like a PhD in 01:29:06.000 --> 01:29:08.000 social work you have a PhD 01:29:08.000 --> 01:29:11.000 in lived experience so thank 01:29:11.000 --> 01:29:12.000 you thank you for using your 01:29:12.000 --> 01:29:14.000 experience to make a difference 01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:16.000 so thank you very much Catherine 01:29:16.000 --> 01:29:20.000 your story is very powerful and intellectually stimulating