WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.000 music 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:06.000 today we're gonna be focusing 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:07.000 on how to help your aging 00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:09.000 parent strategies for family 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:10.000 well-being the reason this 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:11.000 topic is really important to 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:15.000 me is that we age together as 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:18.000 a family so as I get older my 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:20.000 parent gets older my child 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:22.000 gets older and so we're linked 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.000 over time and the parent child 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:26.000 relationship gets negotiated 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.000 and renegotiated which I'll 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.000 go into more detail so it's 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.000 an important topic for me to 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:35.000 talk about families -- today 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:38.000 about the context of these 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.000 relationships and then I'm 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:42.000 thrilled to have Michelle Wheelock here 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:44.000 who's a quality assurance trainer from 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:46.000 the council on government's 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:47.000 aging and disability services 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:51.000 office it is officially called 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:53.000 Oregon's Cascade West Council 00:00:53.000 --> 00:00:54.000 of Government Senior Disability 00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:56.000 Services in Albany 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:57.000 okay that's crazy 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:59.000 but we just call it the COG 00:00:59.000 --> 00:00:60.000 COG yeah which is what I 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:02.000 always call it and the reason 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:03.000 that that this is important to 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:05.000 have Michelle here she's an 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:07.000 alum of our program yay -- 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:09.000 she's incredibly competent and 00:01:09.000 --> 00:01:11.000 knowledgeable yay and she also 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:14.000 works at our area agency on 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.000 aging for Linn Benton Lincoln 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:20.000 Counties -- and so we've got 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:24.000 some very specific programs 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.000 that I think everybody needs to 00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:27.000 know about in the community and 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.000 these programs typically are 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:29.000 available in all communities 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:30.000 so we'll we'll talk about that 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.000 she'll Michelle talk a little more 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.000 about that so let me give you 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:34.000 some context and then of course 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:36.000 as you know we'll have time for 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.000 questions at the end as well 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:41.000 okay so the parent child tie the 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:43.000 reason I focus on the parent 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:46.000 child tie is because as we get 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.000 older typically what happens 00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:50.000 for caregiving for instance in 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:52.000 the -- for an older parent is that 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:54.000 usually the spouse if there's a 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.000 spouse present ends up being a 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:58.000 caregiver for the other spouse 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:60.000 and typically just because 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.000 of longevity and demographics 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:03.000 that's usually the wife is 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:04.000 caregiving for the husband if we're 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:06.000 talking a typical heterosexual 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:10.000 relationship and when that 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:12.000 one parent dies then who's the 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:15.000 next person in line to help 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:17.000 negotiate care and support it's 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:19.000 typically the adult child and 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:21.000 so that's why I like to focus 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:23.000 on this relationship it's a 00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.000 central intergenerational tight 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000 and all the research on family 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:29.000 relationships the most central 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:31.000 tie is actually between a parent 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:35.000 and a child and not necessarily 00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:36.000 from partners because they tend 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.000 to come and go in some cases 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:41.000 some families -- and the parent 00:02:41.000 --> 00:02:43.000 child tie then is one that 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:46.000 travels together over time the 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:47.000 reason I have pictures of beans 00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:50.000 here is because with current 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.000 demographics with people living 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:53.000 longer we're seeing more than 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:55.000 just two generations living 00:02:55.000 --> 00:02:57.000 three generations four I have 00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.000 students in my classes that 00:02:58.000 --> 00:02:61.000 still have great grandparents 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.000 still living and they're young 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:05.000 adults so what we're seeing is 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:07.000 that we've increased this 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:09.000 verticalization of the family 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:11.000 structure so we may have four 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:13.000 generations present at the same 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:15.000 time -- which is not something 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:16.000 that would have happened in 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:17.000 the early part of the twentieth 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:19.000 century right because as people 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:22.000 live longer grandparents for 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:24.000 instance and -- my grand child 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:25.000 my first one should be born any 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:27.000 minute I'm waiting -- 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:30.000 they should the -- I'm hoping and 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:32.000 I should if I have pretty good 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:33.000 health be able to watch this 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:35.000 first grand child through adult 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:38.000 up to adulthood and that's new 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:40.000 actually in terms of what's 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:42.000 happening demographically 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.000 we also know that this then 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.000 lengthens that parent child 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.000 tie -- over time and so 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:50.000 there's a number of life course 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:51.000 transitions that that parent 00:03:51.000 --> 00:03:54.000 child will travel together as 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:56.000 that older parent gets older 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:58.000 and as that child moves 00:03:58.000 --> 00:03:60.000 matures and moves into their 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:02.000 own adulthood path what we 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.000 know about these relationships 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:05.000 is that like I said they're 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:07.000 negotiated and renegotiated 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:09.000 the earlier experience to 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:10.000 shape later experiences -- 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:11.000 when I teach about family 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:14.000 relationships I often use a 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.000 life course perspective I start 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:17.000 here at the beginning when I'm 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:19.000 first born and as I walk across 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:21.000 my life course I will have 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:22.000 people that'll be part of my 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.000 convoy right that travel 00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:27.000 with me who will be with me the 00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:30.000 longest tends to be my siblings 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:33.000 correct but but roughly because 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:34.000 you're born roughly within the 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:36.000 same you know you're within 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:37.000 years of each other typically 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:39.000 and eventually my parents will 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.000 be part of that eventually 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:41.000 my grandparents if everybody 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:42.000 has what we might think is 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:45.000 a typical health life course 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.000 right but what that means is 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:49.000 that these earlier experiences 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:50.000 the reasons that I study parent 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.000 child relationships I have to 00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:54.000 understand what happens with 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:55.000 parent infant relationships 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.000 in order to understand how 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.000 that shapes later experiences 00:04:59.000 --> 00:04:61.000 because early experiences 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:03.000 parent child influence later 00:05:03.000 --> 00:05:05.000 experiences so just hang on to 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:07.000 that for a second every parent 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:09.000 child relationship has the 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:12.000 capacity to be extremely close 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:13.000 good what would be categorized 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:14.000 as a good relationship that 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.000 means it doesn't mean it's 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:17.000 good all the time but that 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:19.000 it's typically good and that's 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:20.000 predominately the style that we 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:22.000 see -- through all the research 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:24.000 that I've reviewed we also though 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.000 have the capacity for really 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.000 poor relationships between 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:29.000 adult parents older parents 00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:31.000 and adult children and then we 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:33.000 also have the capacity what are 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:35.000 called ambivalent relationships 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:36.000 and those might be where for 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.000 instance when I was doing 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:39.000 research with low income 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:41.000 families I was talking to young 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.000 mothers and I asked them in 00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:45.000 my questionaire my protocol 00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:47.000 I'd say okay if there's anybody 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:48.000 in your life who makes your 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:51.000 life better who supports you 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.000 poverty line and resources are 00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:56.000 scarce but who would you say 00:05:56.000 --> 00:05:58.000 supports you the most typically 00:05:58.000 --> 00:05:59.000 the answer of these young 00:05:59.000 --> 00:05:63.000 mothers was my mother that was 00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:05.000 the most common answer my next 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:07.000 question was and this was over 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:08.000 four hundred interviews that 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.000 we we did the study across 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:12.000 multiple states the second 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:14.000 question was out of anybody in 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:16.000 your family who is the person 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.000 that might make your life more 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:21.000 difficult add more stress there 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:23.000 might be more discord and 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:26.000 conflict and the answer was 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:29.000 my mother and when I looked 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:31.000 at the protocols some a lot of 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:33.000 these folks were answering it 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:35.000 the same person so there are 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:36.000 the person I was interviewing 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:37.000 would say my mother for the 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:38.000 first one my mother for the 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.000 second one so why is that 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:43.000 relationship and what I know 00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.000 from those relationships 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.000 is that when resources are 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:47.000 scarce Michelle knows all this 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.000 already she's taken a course from me 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:51.000 but when resources are scarce 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.000 and you're dependent on your 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:54.000 mother to provide child care 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.000 to your child and you don't 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:57.000 have the resources to be able 00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:59.000 to do that and your mother 00:06:59.000 --> 00:06:61.000 is is -- is willing to do 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:04.000 childcare but she 'cause she takes 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:06.000 no pay for it but she smokes she 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.000 feeds your child candy and she 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:08.000 spanks them and you don't want 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:10.000 any of those things happening 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:11.000 right source of conflict but 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:13.000 you're caught structurally 00:07:13.000 --> 00:07:15.000 because you need that support 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:17.000 that might be where I so need 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:18.000 my mom I adore her for what 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:19.000 she's doing for me but she's 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.000 driving me crazy that's what 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:23.000 ambivalence is at the psychological 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.000 level and at the structural level 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:27.000 it's when these forces really 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:30.000 influence these relationships 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:31.000 aging is lifelong obviously it 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.000 affects both not just the older 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:35.000 parent and the context shapes 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:37.000 these experiences just like 00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:38.000 I express like your culture 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.000 or your family culture your race 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.000 and ethnicity your geographic 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.000 location rural versus urban 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.000 economic resources are in 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:47.000 place what's going on in 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:50.000 your family history and often 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:51.000 times the vantage point of 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:52.000 the parent and child can be 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:54.000 quite different so I know for 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:55.000 instance you can take in this 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:57.000 caveat that when offering 00:07:57.000 --> 00:07:60.000 advice parent -- adult children and older 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:02.000 parents report that they use 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:04.000 the other -- as a confidante 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:06.000 often often and they share 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.000 information and they share 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:09.000 advice well we know that the 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.000 older parent is more likely to 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:12.000 follow the advice that the adult 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:15.000 child is giving them but not 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.000 the reverse okay so that's an 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:19.000 interesting caveat from 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.000 research right so there's some 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:22.000 interesting things that happen 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:23.000 in the -- so they might have 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:24.000 different vantage points but 00:08:24.000 --> 00:08:27.000 we also know that agency like 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:29.000 being able to make decisions 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:31.000 about our life course and where 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:32.000 we're going and Michelle will talk 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:33.000 a little bit about that too I 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.000 think and autonomy and all 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:37.000 the other decisions that are 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:39.000 important as we travel together 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.000 across this life course are made 00:08:41.000 --> 00:08:42.000 within structural constraints 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:44.000 so one of the reasons I wanted 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.000 Michelle here was so she could 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:46.000 talk about programs that are 00:08:46.000 --> 00:08:48.000 available to people that had 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.000 economic resources and those 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:51.000 that don't and so she'll be 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:53.000 sharing more of that with us 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.000 geographic proximity in these 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:57.000 relationships I live three 00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:59.000 thousand miles or two thousand 00:08:59.000 --> 00:08:60.000 miles away from my mom at 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.000 the towards the end of her 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.000 life I was teaching in Ohio University 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:04.000 my mom is from 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:05.000 the San Francisco Bay Area 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:06.000 that's where I'm from and at 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:08.000 the end of her life I called her 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:10.000 everyday and I offered a lot 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:11.000 of emotional support and she 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:12.000 and I both would say that 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:13.000 our relationship was very 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:16.000 close but I could not offer 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:17.000 her other types of support I 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:19.000 couldn't be there to manage 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:20.000 her medications I couldn't 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:21.000 help to transport her to her 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:23.000 medical appointments that's 00:09:23.000 --> 00:09:24.000 what my sister did because 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:26.000 she lived ten minutes away 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:28.000 okay so geographic proximity 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:30.000 does influence some things 00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:31.000 but it doesn't necessarily 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:33.000 influence the quality of that 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:35.000 relationship the quality of 00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:36.000 contact is more important than 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.000 the frequency for parents they 00:09:38.000 --> 00:09:39.000 don't want to have you know 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:41.000 if I could call my mom and talk to her 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:42.000 for two minutes that's not 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:43.000 going to be something that's 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:44.000 going to make a difference 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:45.000 to her but sometimes our 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:47.000 conversations would be ten 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:48.000 minutes sometimes they'd be an 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:50.000 hour it just depended on what 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:51.000 we wanted to talk about and what we 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:53.000 wanted to share in frequent 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:55.000 contact when the adult child 00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:56.000 and the older parent live close 00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:59.000 to one another maybe where 00:09:59.000 --> 00:09:60.000 the adult child is situated in the 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.000 life course having children 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:06.000 in a marital or a significant 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:07.000 partnership and having children 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.000 may mean that that adult child 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:11.000 is very busy and the older 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.000 parent may be thinking well 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:14.000 I have all this time where 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:16.000 are they right and so that 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:17.000 might be a consequence of where 00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:20.000 each of them are in the -- the 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:22.000 life course and a couple of 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.000 things I also want to say is 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:24.000 that parents influence their 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:26.000 children across the life course 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:27.000 so in the research that's done 00:10:27.000 --> 00:10:29.000 on what happens with -- and a lot 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:31.000 and how many -- in here of 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:34.000 you in here are parents okay 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:35.000 all the rest of you have been 00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:37.000 children right all the rest of 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:39.000 you have been children right so you 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:40.000 all could've raised your hand on 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.000 I'm a child right of a somebody 00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.000 whether they're alive or not 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:45.000 but what we know what parents 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:47.000 how they influence their adult 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:49.000 children over time is they 00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:52.000 have hopes and expectations for 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:55.000 those children and satisfaction 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:56.000 when they see things working 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.000 well for their child or 00:10:58.000 --> 00:10:60.000 children there's a lifelong 00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:02.000 pattern of support that flows 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:04.000 from the older parent starting 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:06.000 when that child is young all 00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:07.000 the way as they grow and so 00:11:07.000 --> 00:11:09.000 it's real typical to see me as 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:10.000 a sixty year old I just turned 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:13.000 sixty still supporting my two 00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:16.000 adult children financially 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:18.000 emotionally instrumentally 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:20.000 that's a pretty typical pattern 00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:23.000 you don't see the reverse as much 00:11:23.000 --> 00:11:24.000 except when there's economic 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:27.000 hardship for the parent or 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:28.000 if there's health constraints 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:31.000 going on right that's where 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:33.000 that renegotiation happens 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:34.000 and so there's a tendency 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:37.000 for instance of as your adult 00:11:37.000 --> 00:11:39.000 children age to be hands off 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.000 as a parent right you're no 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:43.000 longer on the basketball court 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:44.000 teaching them skills you're up 00:11:44.000 --> 00:11:45.000 in the bleachers cheering 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:47.000 them on real difference right 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:48.000 when your adult child moves 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.000 into maturity unless there's 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:51.000 a developmental disability or 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:53.000 something that needs care for 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:56.000 that child we know that parent 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:59.000 health is a huge gateway to all 00:11:59.000 --> 00:11:62.000 kinds of new things depending 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.000 if that parent -- has some 00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:06.000 health constraints that's 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:07.000 what I want to spend a little 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:09.000 bit more time talking about 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:11.000 okay in the time that I have 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:12.000 and like I said confiding is 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:14.000 common as parents and children 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:16.000 age so that emotional support 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.000 is what we most commonly see 00:12:19.000 --> 00:12:20.000 not all relationships are the 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:22.000 same so I just wanna as I talk 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:25.000 please don't go okay that's not 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:26.000 my relationship or that is my 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:28.000 relationship there's so much 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:29.000 variability and I want to I 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:31.000 want you to embrace that you know 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:32.000 I don't know your context for 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:34.000 each of you having one child 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.000 multiple children no children I 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:37.000 mean there's lots of different 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.000 variables here but we do know 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:40.000 that certain types of things 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:42.000 can influence relationships for 00:12:42.000 --> 00:12:43.000 instance if there's a divorce 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:45.000 and an adult child has parents 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:47.000 that no longer are married or 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:49.000 living together and so how do 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.000 you manage care for two parents 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:53.000 when they need it when they 00:12:53.000 --> 00:12:56.000 live in separate situations 00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.000 okay we know that negative life 00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:59.000 events I have a good friend 00:12:59.000 --> 00:12:60.000 that did a study Diana White 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:03.000 on SIDS babies babies who 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:05.000 die early and the relationship 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:07.000 between the adult child and 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:09.000 her mom the grandmother and 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:11.000 what happens as a consequence 00:13:11.000 --> 00:13:13.000 of that off time event right 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:15.000 tough really tough one we know 00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:17.000 that the atypical needs of 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.000 a child over time so have y'all 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:21.000 heard about boomerang children 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:22.000 those are the adult children 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:25.000 who you think you've launched 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:27.000 and guess what happens they come 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:29.000 back right and that can happen 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:30.000 in poor economic times like in 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:34.000 happen when there is marital 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:35.000 disruption let's say there's 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:38.000 a divorce or separation or 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:39.000 there's a financial need so 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:40.000 they might need to move back in 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.000 order to pay off college debt 00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:43.000 while they're looking for work 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:45.000 and eventually saving to move 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:46.000 out there's lots of reasons 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:48.000 why we see more and more adult 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:50.000 children boomeranging boomeranging 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.000 back home and we also know that 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:54.000 the consequence of off time 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.000 and on time events so as we go 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.000 through so I had my first child 00:13:58.000 --> 00:13:59.000 at the age of thirty which is 00:13:59.000 --> 00:13:61.000 a little bit older right the 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:03.000 consequence of having your 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:05.000 first child at the age of forty 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.000 is very different than having 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:08.000 your first child at the age 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.000 of twenty that's more of an on 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:12.000 time event having your child 00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.000 at the age of forty when most 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:15.000 people become grandparents on 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:17.000 average in their late forties 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:19.000 would be considered an off time 00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:20.000 event and the reason that's 00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:22.000 considered an off time event 00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:23.000 what that means is if you're 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:25.000 doing a life course transition 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:26.000 and you don't have a peer group 00:14:26.000 --> 00:14:27.000 that's doing it at the same 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:29.000 time that can add increased 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:32.000 stress and decrease support so 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.000 an on time versus an off time event 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.000 is important to think about 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:38.000 so I had a a much older father 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:40.000 so he was had Parkinson's 00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:42.000 with dementia when I was quite 00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:44.000 young right and so that has a 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.000 consequence for me whereas I am 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:48.000 probably I have a group of ten 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:49.000 women that I went to college 00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:50.000 with we get together every 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:51.000 summer we're very 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:52.000 close we've been getting 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:55.000 together over forty years and 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:57.000 that group is my sample group 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:58.000 and I'm only one of two that 00:14:59.000 --> 00:14:65.000 living anymore right so my my 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.000 forecast is I'm not going to be doing 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:10.000 any caregiving for parents I've 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:11.000 that's been I've been there 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.000 done that already right that's 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:15.000 done but my friends have a long 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:17.000 pathway potentially of providing 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:19.000 care so when those events 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:21.000 happen can really have some 00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:23.000 implications becoming a widow 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.000 at age twenty is different than 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:26.000 becoming a widow at age seventy 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.000 five when there are a lot of 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:30.000 women who become widows at age 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.000 seventy five and very few that 00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:34.000 become widows at age twenty okay 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.000 so think about the consequences 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:37.000 of those events and the 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:38.000 other thing I'll just add is 00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:41.000 gender so we do have a very 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:42.000 strong relationship between 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:44.000 mothers and daughters and 00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:46.000 mothers and sons and it has 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.000 some consequences as we know 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:49.000 through caregiving that I'll 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:51.000 mention here in a second this 00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.000 is an interesting caveat 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:54.000 and you probably can smile at this 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.000 how your child is faring will 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:58.000 influence the parent's life 00:15:58.000 --> 00:15:59.000 so if my child is not doing 00:15:59.000 --> 00:15:62.000 well I'm not doing well right I'm 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:05.000 concerned -- if my my parent 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:08.000 is not is not doing well that 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.000 will also influence my well being 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:11.000 so we do influence each 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:12.000 other that's why I have this 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.000 chain link here I could go 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.000 on I teach a whole class on 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:17.000 social ties and aging I'm doing 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:19.000 it right now so I can I could 00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:21.000 talk your ear off on every type 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:23.000 of family and social tie so 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:24.000 this is a real -- because I want 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:25.000 to get to Michelle but the 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:28.000 relationships Ingrid Conidis 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:29.000 has done some research on 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.000 this and she said that older 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:32.000 parents there are two things that 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:33.000 they predominately want to 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:37.000 do before they die and one 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:38.000 of those is they want to make 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.000 sure that everybody gets along 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:41.000 they want to resolve all those 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:43.000 problematic relationships which 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:46.000 is a big task to do and it 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.000 may not happen right a second 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:51.000 desire is that if they can they 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:52.000 want to be as equitable and 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:55.000 as possible in how they leave 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:59.000 things and that isn't always 00:16:59.000 --> 00:16:60.000 doesn't always happen either 00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:03.000 okay we know that as older 00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:06.000 adults get older as we age the 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:08.000 consequences of health and just 00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.000 energy changes so if we're in our 00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.000 eighties we're not going to be 00:17:11.000 --> 00:17:12.000 running laps around the track 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:14.000 right and we're probably going 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:15.000 to be more selective about 00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:17.000 how we spend our time and with 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:19.000 whom so another thing that 00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.000 she's the one that developed 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.000 this perspective the Social 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:25.000 Emotional Selectivity Theory 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:28.000 is that also older adults are 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:29.000 gonna be more selective about 00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:30.000 who they hang out with and how 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:31.000 they spend their time because 00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:34.000 they have limited energy so I 00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:36.000 tell my younger students you 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:37.000 know you have a lot of friends 00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:38.000 and some of them probably 00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:40.000 aren't very supportive of 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.000 you but you hang on to that 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:42.000 friendship an older adult's 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:44.000 like I don't need that friend 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:45.000 anymore that takes too much 00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:47.000 I'd rather spend time with 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:48.000 this person or these people 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.000 because they support me and 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:51.000 there's reciprocity in that 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:52.000 relationship and if I have 00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:54.000 limited time just on a daily 00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:57.000 basis my health or just I had a 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:59.000 coffee with a friend who's the 00:17:59.000 --> 00:17:60.000 same age as I am I said well 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:01.000 you're gonna go on this experience 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:03.000 and develop lifelong friends 00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:04.000 and he goes what does that 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:06.000 mean at my age lifelong friends 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:07.000 you know there's a different 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:10.000 perspective right so and then 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.000 another point I want to put 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:12.000 in is this role of generativity 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.000 and if you know anything 00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.000 about Erik Erikson's work 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:18.000 he talks about how there's a 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:19.000 point in which mid to later 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.000 life midlife predominantly 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.000 where developmentally we 00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:26.000 start focusing on how we can 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:29.000 support future generations 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:30.000 the most obvious place 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:31.000 to be generative is with 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.000 our children or our grandchildren 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:34.000 great grandchildren but not 00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:36.000 everybody has the ability 00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:38.000 to do that not everybody's a 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.000 grandparent not everybody's 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:41.000 a parent being generative 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:43.000 can happen through offering 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:45.000 your skills coaching tutoring 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:47.000 mentoring being generative 00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:48.000 can be if you have resources 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:50.000 establishing a scholarship 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:52.000 fund being generative and 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:53.000 how am I -- I'm gonna work for 00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:56.000 issues around climate change 00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:58.000 or increasing the accessibility 00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:59.000 in my communities or working on 00:18:59.000 --> 00:18:61.000 improving the educational system 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:02.000 whatever's important to you 00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:04.000 that might help support future 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:06.000 generations is a generative 00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:08.000 act and we know that mid to 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.000 later life adults particularly 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.000 mid adulthood is a time for 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:15.000 this to really play as an 00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:16.000 important aspect I don't 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.000 know if you've experienced that 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:18.000 yourself those of you who are 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:20.000 in that age group it's one reason 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.000 why I continue to work even 00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:24.000 though I probably could retire 00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:25.000 I know I could retire at 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:27.000 this point but I know that 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:29.000 I have being a professor 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:31.000 working for my students is 00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:32.000 an act of generativity for 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:35.000 me it's important to me and 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:37.000 it's part of my purpose so 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:38.000 that's the other thing that's 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:39.000 really important for just 00:19:39.000 --> 00:19:42.000 aging adults is maintaining a 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:43.000 sense of purpose and identity 00:19:43.000 --> 00:19:46.000 and autonomy and agency as 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:48.000 we go across the life course 00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:49.000 and our children our adult 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:51.000 children if we have them are 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.000 part of that process of support 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.000 the last couple slides I'm gonna talk 00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:57.000 about before I turn over to Michelle is 00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:60.000 caregiving so caregiving 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.000 is the provision of informal 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:04.000 what's considered unpaid 00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:05.000 support to those with physical 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:07.000 psychological or developmental 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.000 needs now I could be caregiving 00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:10.000 for an adult child let's say 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:12.000 that has -- schizophrenia 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:15.000 diagnosed with schizophrenia I can be a 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:18.000 caregiver for that person my 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:19.000 son and daughter in law very 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:21.000 quickly are gonna be care 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:23.000 givers to an infant okay but 00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:25.000 the caregiving I'm talking 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:27.000 about is when an older adult 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:29.000 who has at least one activity 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:31.000 of daily limitation that leads 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.000 to dependence on another person 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:35.000 so at some point my mom had 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:37.000 to use a walker she -- and 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:38.000 at some point she was unable 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:40.000 to drive anymore those were 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:42.000 things that she needed support 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:44.000 and help on so there was someone 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:46.000 that had to come in somehow 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:48.000 and we had to figure it out how 00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:49.000 are we going to provide care 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:51.000 and support to my mom so that 00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:53.000 she can maintain her quality 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:55.000 of living her quality of life 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:58.000 okay we know that support can 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:60.000 happen caregiving can happen 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:01.000 instrumentally and that would 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:02.000 be like I'm come defrost 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.000 your freezer for you I'll carry the 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.000 big bag of mulch out to your 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:08.000 garden I'll unload I'll go 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.000 grocery shopping with you and 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:10.000 I'll take the bag into the 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:12.000 house for you I'll take you to the 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:15.000 doctor I'll drive you here okay 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:16.000 that's instrumental support 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:18.000 it can be emotional support 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:19.000 which is what I did every day 00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:20.000 with my mom on the phone in fact I 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:23.000 even diagnosed a stroke while 00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:24.000 she was having it on the phone 00:21:24.000 --> 00:21:25.000 with me because I could tell 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:26.000 her breathing patterns were 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:28.000 different and I immediately 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.000 launched into a 911 00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:31.000 call the neighbor kind 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:32.000 of thing and she -- 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.000 indeed was having a stroke even 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:35.000 though we were two thousand 00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:37.000 miles away so that emotional 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.000 support helped me to provide 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.000 care okay financial supports 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.000 pretty clear what that is and 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.000 it can be the two dollars 00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:47.000 and fifty cents that Aunt Edie 00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:48.000 gave my friend Brenda every 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.000 week while she was in college so she 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:52.000 could have a soda to providing 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:53.000 money to help a grand child 00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:57.000 go to college alright or helping a 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.000 child with their first house 00:21:59.000 --> 00:21:62.000 purchase and informational can 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:03.000 be informational and I love 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:05.000 I've got a mother daughter team 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:06.000 right in front here and they're 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:07.000 getting information that I 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:09.000 think's going to influence and 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:10.000 the last two sessions you had 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:11.000 especially the first one from 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:12.000 Dr. Cannon and the second one 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:16.000 from from -- our Ryan Collier 00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:19.000 our lawyer that's information that's 00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:20.000 sharing information you can do 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:22.000 that across generations this 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:24.000 is one of the most demanding 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:25.000 of all negotiations within 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:26.000 the relationship of adult 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:29.000 children and older parents it's 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:31.000 estimated that twelve million 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:32.000 Americans need long term care 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.000 sixty three percent are age 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:36.000 sixty five and over long term 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.000 care is typically the last 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:39.000 resort for families it's used 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:41.000 only if resources and it's 00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:43.000 not just financial resources 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:44.000 but family resources and 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:46.000 stuff are absent or exhausted 00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:48.000 and most families depend on 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:50.000 a combination of informal 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:52.000 and informal care okay 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:55.000 informal care meaning I've 00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:57.000 got someone living in my house 00:22:57.000 --> 00:22:59.000 or near me and she's helping 00:22:59.000 --> 00:22:61.000 me with all these things or 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:03.000 my spouse my partner my child 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:05.000 my adult my grand child my 00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:07.000 parent they're helping me with 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:09.000 these caregiving tasks that's 00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:10.000 informally given you're not 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.000 paid for it if we reimbursed 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:13.000 every single person in this 00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:14.000 country that was doing informal 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:17.000 care it would be trillions of 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:18.000 dollars I mean we're talking a 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:20.000 lot of money right if you had 00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:22.000 to pay for all that informal 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:24.000 care then you also have formal 00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.000 care and that's the reason 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:28.000 that I asked Michelle to come 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:29.000 so I'm gonna talk for a second 00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:31.000 about informal care and then 00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:32.000 we're gonna have Michelle talk 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.000 eighty to ninety percent of 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:36.000 care occurs in families such 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:38.000 as personal care household 00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:41.000 tasks transportation medically 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:43.000 focused care shopping those 00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:44.000 are just examples of what we 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.000 see informally if there's no 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.000 spouse responsibility most 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:49.000 often falls to the adult child and 00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:51.000 then within if there's choices 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.000 within the adult children 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:55.000 typically to the daughter and 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:58.000 even to the daughters in law 00:23:58.000 --> 00:23:60.000 it tends to be more women fill 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:01.000 these roles than men but that 00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:03.000 doesn't mean that men don't do 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:04.000 this and it doesn't mean that 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:06.000 men are incapable of doing this 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:08.000 just want to make that clear okay 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:10.000 so I've seen a lot of amazing 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:12.000 adult sons do carry this 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:15.000 caregiving for parents a third 00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:17.000 of the care provided to older 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:19.000 adult is from a child and care 00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:21.000 giving can be -- bidirectional 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:22.000 and what that means is that 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.000 I may be providing care to my 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:26.000 parent but even when my mom 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:29.000 was confined to a chair she 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:31.000 had congestive heart failure 00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:32.000 and her ovarian cancer had 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.000 reappeared after twenty years 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:35.000 even though there were no 00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.000 ovaries there was some little cancer 00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:40.000 still hanging out there she 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.000 could provide emotional support 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:44.000 to me and in fact she said to 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:47.000 me I started to cry because we were 00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:49.000 really close and she said 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:50.000 what are you crying about and I said 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:52.000 she's a typical German she immigrated 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.000 from Germany when she was eighteen 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:55.000 what are you crying about I said 00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:57.000 I'm crying because I can't 00:24:57.000 --> 00:24:60.000 imagine my life without you 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.000 says I'm gonna strike you a 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.000 deal and I go what's that she 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.000 goes I'm not going to die until 00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:08.000 your daughter is as close to 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:11.000 you as you are to me and sure 00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:13.000 enough my mom lived until my 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:15.000 daughter -- my daughter turned 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:17.000 seventeen when my mom died 00:25:17.000 --> 00:25:18.000 and that was pretty amazing 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:20.000 because I had that relationship 00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:22.000 with my daughter and with my son 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:26.000 that I had with my mom so I 00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:27.000 was -- yeah it's the bidirectional 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:28.000 nature I was getting just as 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:30.000 much emotional support from 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.000 her as I was providing to her 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:35.000 and then finally there's we see 00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:36.000 different types of care that 00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:37.000 emerges from daughters and sons 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:38.000 we see more daughters taking on 00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:40.000 the more intimate care and this 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:42.000 may be too much information 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:43.000 but a colleague of mine who 00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:46.000 said she's got her mom in home 00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:47.000 with her she's caring for her 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:49.000 and just recently there's been 00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:50.000 another situation where her 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:52.000 mother's losing control of her 00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:54.000 bowels and urinary incontinence 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:56.000 fecal incontinence and -- 00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:57.000 my friend walked up to her 00:25:57.000 --> 00:25:59.000 husband and said I am only taking 00:25:59.000 --> 00:25:61.000 care of one rear end in this 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.000 family so you better manage 00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:05.000 right so that intimate 00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:07.000 care that we don't talk about 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:08.000 right but women are more likely 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:09.000 to take that on than men but 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:11.000 like I said I've seen men do 00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:13.000 this as well and for women 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:15.000 caregivers who are the majority 00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:16.000 it affects their employment 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.000 options it often cuts down or 00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:20.000 they drop out of work so women 00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:21.000 caregivers are more likely 00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:23.000 to retire earlier so there's 00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:24.000 some financial consequences of 00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:27.000 this and it increases poverty risk 00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:28.000 especially for women because 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:29.000 we tend to live longer so if we're 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:31.000 take we're putting constraints 00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:32.000 on our own earning power 00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:33.000 that may have implications 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:35.000 for our own aging process 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:37.000 down the road and finally it may 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.000 compete with other family -- 00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:40.000 responsibilities and I'm just 00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:41.000 going to add here because I want to 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:42.000 get to Michelle daughters who 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.000 provide care in this context 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:45.000 though are also more apt 00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:47.000 to show some of these positive 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:50.000 outcomes I feel needed it makes 00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:52.000 me possible to give back to 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.000 a loved one I hear this from 00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:54.000 both men and women and -- this 00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:56.000 is documented in the literature 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:58.000 I have pleasant interactions 00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.000 and it allows me to have 00:26:59.000 --> 00:26:62.000 purpose -- in having this 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:05.000 relationship with my parent I 00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:07.000 will say that the other piece 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:08.000 of this relationship that 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:09.000 I will add about the parent 00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.000 child relationship is that 00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.000 it's tricky because parents 00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:16.000 don't want to give up control 00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:17.000 and autonomy even when they 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.000 need to sometimes and adult 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.000 children don't always want 00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:22.000 to take that on they're nervous 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.000 about it -- how do I it's kinda like 00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:28.000 this isn't what do I do here 00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:29.000 I don't wanna tell my -- take the 00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:30.000 car keys away how is that 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:31.000 managed right so there are some 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:33.000 interesting dynamics that can 00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:34.000 happen but I'm gonna turn it over 00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:35.000 to Michelle who's gonna talk to you about 00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:37.000 some formal programs that can 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:38.000 support families and support 00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:42.000 these okay so I'm Michelle -- I 00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:43.000 work with senior and disability 00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:45.000 services in Albany I was a 00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:47.000 case manager there but most 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:49.000 recently I moved to a training 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.000 position so now I train new 00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:52.000 case managers that are coming 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:54.000 into our office and they go 00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.000 out into the field and they do 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:57.000 assessments to see -- what type 00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:59.000 of services would be helpful 00:27:59.000 --> 00:27:61.000 for somebody who is residing in 00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:03.000 their home who maybe has some 00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:05.000 type of physical or cognitive 00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:07.000 impairment and it helps to 00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:08.000 allow people to stay in their 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.000 home environment as long as 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:13.000 they can be supported safely 00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:15.000 in their home but in our agency 00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:16.000 we do have a few different 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.000 resources that you can look 00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.000 at a lot of people don't know 00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:21.000 where to start looking for 00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:23.000 care when they have an older 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:26.000 adult that is in need of 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:28.000 different types of resources 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:29.000 and the best place to call 00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:31.000 not just within our agency but 00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:32.000 throughout the state is 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:34.000 the Aging and Disability Resource 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:37.000 Connection or ADRC any local 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:39.000 agency will have one and they 00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.000 will have all the resources 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.000 available in your specific 00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:45.000 area -- for anybody who's aged 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.000 or disabled they can give you 00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:49.000 the information you need and 00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:51.000 you can give them a call say 00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:52.000 you're looking into somebody 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.000 maybe needs a wheelchair ramp 00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:56.000 and they're having difficulty 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:57.000 getting in and out of their 00:28:57.000 --> 00:28:58.000 home without one you can 00:28:58.000 --> 00:28:59.000 give them a call they can 00:28:59.000 --> 00:28:61.000 tell you who you should call 00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:03.000 who you need to talk to -- 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:05.000 maybe somebody is having 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.000 throughout their daily normal 00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:10.000 life because they're having 00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:12.000 difficulty with walking they're 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.000 having difficulty with getting 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.000 up out of bed maybe difficulty 00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:17.000 with using the bathroom on 00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:20.000 their own they can go ahead and 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:24.000 term services programs that we have 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:26.000 available in our office we also 00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:28.000 have adult protective services 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:30.000 in our office adult protective 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:31.000 services if you ever feel 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:33.000 that somebody -- is being 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:36.000 abused -- financially exploited 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.000 physically abused sexually 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:40.000 abused self neglect emotional 00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:42.000 abuse just give them a call 00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:43.000 and file a report you can be 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:46.000 anonymous and we have caregiver 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:47.000 resources such as the Family 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:49.000 Caregiver Support Program and 00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:51.000 Oregon Project Independence 00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:53.000 Oregon Project Independence I 00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:54.000 know a little bit more about 00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:55.000 than the Family Caregiver Support 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.000 Program the Family Caregiver 00:29:58.000 --> 00:29:60.000 Support Program is for family 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.000 caregivers they can go ahead 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:03.000 and give them a call and speak 00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:04.000 with an options counselor to 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:05.000 see what's available for the 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:07.000 resources for the caregiver 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.000 themselves because caregivers 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:11.000 do experience caregiver burnout 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:12.000 and it's hard for them to 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:15.000 take care of their loved one 00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:16.000 if they can't take care of 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:17.000 themselves so they can talk 00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:18.000 about places where you would go 00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:21.000 maybe for some type of respite 00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:22.000 care for the older adult that 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:24.000 you're caring for or the disabled 00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:26.000 individual you're caring for 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:28.000 Oregon Project Independence is 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:30.000 a program that we have through 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.000 our office not every office 00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:34.000 has that but the state gave 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:35.000 us some money and we decided 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:37.000 to use it towards this program 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:39.000 and it is for people who are 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:40.000 residing in their home that 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:42.000 maybe don't want to go on 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:43.000 Medicaid yet they don't need 00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:45.000 a whole lot of help but maybe 00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:46.000 they need help with some meal 00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:48.000 preparation or medication 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:50.000 management or help with bathing 00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:52.000 and they just need somebody to 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:53.000 come in for a little bit during 00:30:53.000 --> 00:30:55.000 the week so that program can 00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:57.000 give up to five hours a week 00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:58.000 of a home care worker to 00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.000 come into the home to help with 00:30:59.000 --> 00:30:61.000 those tasks they can help with 00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:04.000 laundry and housekeeping maybe 00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:06.000 some shopping for them but you 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:09.000 would call the ADRC and ask 00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:10.000 them about that program and 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:11.000 they would set you up with one 00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:13.000 of the case managers to do an 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:14.000 evaluation to see if you're 00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:16.000 eligible for that program 00:31:16.000 --> 00:31:18.000 and that program is sliding 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.000 scale fee based so it goes on 00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:22.000 income and they would determine 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:23.000 whether or not you can receive 00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:25.000 the program at no cost or 00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.000 a small fee also we have some 00:31:29.000 --> 00:31:31.000 food programs we have Meals on Wheels 00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:32.000 is anybody familiar with 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:35.000 the Meals on Wheels program 00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:36.000 okay so Meals on Wheels can 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:38.000 bring a meal to you to your 00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:39.000 home if you're not able to get 00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:41.000 to the meal site for whatever 00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:44.000 reason some type of disability 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:48.000 to go so you have the option 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:49.000 to have the mail delivered to 00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:51.000 your home it can come to you 00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:52.000 it comes to you at a certain 00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:54.000 time of day they can bring it 00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:56.000 warmed up or they can bring 00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.000 it frozen and you can heat 00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:59.000 it up later for whenever you 00:31:59.000 --> 00:31:61.000 want it and they can bring in 00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:02.000 also some frozen meals for the 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:04.000 weekend because some people 00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:06.000 have a difficult time preparing 00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:11.000 they get one hot meal per day 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:13.000 we also have the Supplemental 00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:15.000 Nutrition Assistance Program 00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:17.000 SNAP which is also food stamps 00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:18.000 a lot of people are familiar 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:20.000 with that terminology more 00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:22.000 so than SNAP and that is 00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:24.000 based on your income so you 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.000 have to be income eligible 00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:28.000 to receive benefits to buy 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:29.000 food for yourself if you need 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:32.000 it and these are some of the 00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:33.000 programs that we have available 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.000 throughout our office but 00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:36.000 any program you want to know 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:38.000 specifically about you would 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:40.000 call the ADRC and they would 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:41.000 tell you all the information 00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:42.000 you ever wanted to know about 00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:45.000 any of those programs the one 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:46.000 that I am most familiar with 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:48.000 is our Long-Term Supports and 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:51.000 Services Program this program 00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:52.000 is a Title XIX program 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:54.000 through the state of Oregon 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:55.000 this program is for people 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:57.000 who need what we call nursing 00:32:57.000 --> 00:32:59.000 facility level of care but 00:32:59.000 --> 00:32:60.000 maybe they don't want to go to 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:03.000 a nursing facility maybe they 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:04.000 want to stay in their home or 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:05.000 maybe they want to go to an 00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:07.000 assisted living facility or 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:09.000 an adult foster care home what 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:11.000 we do is somebody will call 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.000 the ADRC they'll say you know 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:15.000 I have somebody that needs 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.000 some help they're having a 00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:18.000 lot of difficulty with walking 00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:20.000 they can't walk by themselves 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.000 anymore or they're having 00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:22.000 trouble getting out of their 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:23.000 bed they stayed in their bed 00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:24.000 all night and they couldn't 00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:28.000 get up so then they send out 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:29.000 an intake case manager to do 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:32.000 their first initial evaluation 00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:34.000 and they talk to them about 00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:35.000 what things they need help 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:37.000 with in their home there's a few 00:33:37.000 --> 00:33:38.000 different ways to qualify for 00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.000 this program but basically you 00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:43.000 have to have a physical need -- 00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:44.000 for your ADLs 00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:46.000 your activities of daily 00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:48.000 living there's you have to 00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:50.000 qualify either with ambulation 00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:52.000 that's walking transfers 00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.000 getting in and out of bed 00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:57.000 sitting down standing up 00:33:57.000 --> 00:33:59.000 toileting you can no longer 00:33:59.000 --> 00:33:60.000 use the bathroom without 00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.000 assistance or cognition you're 00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.000 not safe in your home because 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:07.000 you cognitively don't remember 00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:08.000 what your physical limitations 00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:11.000 are you're starting to cook 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:12.000 and leave the stove on because 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:14.000 you forget you're cooking you 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:17.000 start wandering and you're out 00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:20.000 in the community lost and you 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:21.000 don't have any supports there 00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:25.000 so our program what we do is we 00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:26.000 have home care workers that can 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:29.000 come into your home for an In-Home 00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.000 Care Services plan and they 00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:32.000 can help you do your activities 00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:34.000 of daily living the number of 00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:36.000 hours you received is based on 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:38.000 the assessment that is done by 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:40.000 the case manager and it's based 00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.000 on physical hands on care so 00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.000 they're not coming in just to 00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:47.000 do your housekeeping for you 00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:48.000 they're not coming in just to cook 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:50.000 your meals and do your laundry 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:52.000 you have to qualify based on 00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:54.000 physical limitations and then 00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:55.000 you get all those extras added 00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:58.000 on to that so they can come 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:59.000 in and they can help you get 00:34:59.000 --> 00:34:60.000 out of bed in the morning we 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.000 can help you take a shower 00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.000 get dressed for the day and 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:06.000 they can help you prepare your 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:07.000 meals they can set up your 00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:09.000 medications for you they can 00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:11.000 go shopping for you they can 00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:13.000 do housekeeping and laundry for 00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:15.000 you there can be some of those 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:16.000 tasks that you can still do for 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:17.000 yourself and maybe you don't 00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:19.000 need that kind of help every 00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.000 single day or every single time 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:24.000 you perform the task but if you 00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:25.000 do need some of that help at 00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:27.000 least weekly then we're going 00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:28.000 to have somebody come in and 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:31.000 help you to do that some people 00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:32.000 don't want to stay in their 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:34.000 home some people are -- I want 00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.000 somebody here with me all the 00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:38.000 time well in-home services we 00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:39.000 can't really support somebody 00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:41.000 being there all the time we 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:43.000 rely a lot on natural 00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:44.000 supports as well which would be 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:46.000 family friends or neighbors to 00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:48.000 come in and help to supplement 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.000 that care in the home but if 00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:51.000 somebody wants to go to an 00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:53.000 adult foster home care setting 00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:56.000 or an assisted living facility 00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.000 we help them do that the state 00:35:57.000 --> 00:35:60.000 pays for that all of these 00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:01.000 things and even a nursing home 00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:02.000 some people want to go to a 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:05.000 nursing facility some people 00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:06.000 like that they have so many 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.000 people to talk to or they have 00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:09.000 activities there and they have 00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:11.000 staff there twenty four seven 00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:12.000 they like that reassurance that 00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:13.000 somebody's always going to be 00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:16.000 there so another way you have 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:19.000 to be eligible for this program 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:22.000 is income it is income based 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:24.000 and you are asking the state to 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.000 help pay for these services for 00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:28.000 you a lot of people are leery 00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.000 of getting on these services 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:31.000 because they think oh I can't 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:33.000 afford it or I'm not gonna 00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:35.000 have anything left if I go with 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:36.000 you know for my wife there's 00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:38.000 nobody that's going to be able 00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:39.000 to take care of her because 00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:42.000 I'm gone the state looks at 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.000 that the state if you own your 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:45.000 own home then they're going to 00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.000 go ahead and say we're going 00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:48.000 to go ahead and we're going to 00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:50.000 help you but know once you 00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:52.000 pass away and your spouse passes 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:53.000 away we will put a lien on that 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:55.000 property to try to recuperate 00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:57.000 some of the money that we paid 00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.000 for your services so that is 00:36:59.000 --> 00:36:61.000 something that does happen 00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:03.000 people are worried about that 00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:04.000 because they're worried about 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:07.000 to leave behind and they will 00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:09.000 not take the home away from a 00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:11.000 spouse that's living it'll be 00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:12.000 until after the spouse passes 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:14.000 away now if they're wanting to 00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.000 leave all these properties to 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:18.000 their kids that's not really 00:37:18.000 --> 00:37:20.000 going to happen so that is 00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:22.000 something that you do need to 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:23.000 be aware of because if you're 00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:25.000 asking the state to help pay 00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.000 for this care for you then 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:28.000 that is something that they're 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:30.000 going to look at the question 00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:33.000 was that at one time -- she 00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:34.000 thought that if you had a 00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:35.000 home that you lived in that 00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.000 you would have to sell that 00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:38.000 property in order to receive 00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:40.000 services through the state 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:44.000 your property if you plan on 00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:45.000 living there in your home and 00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:47.000 receiving care in your home 00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:48.000 then you would keep that home 00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:50.000 and when you passed away then 00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:51.000 that's when they would go ahead 00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:53.000 and put a lien on the property 00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:54.000 to try to get back some of the 00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:56.000 money they paid for your care 00:37:56.000 --> 00:37:58.000 if you had a spouse residing 00:37:58.000 --> 00:37:60.000 in the home with you and you 00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:01.000 you passed away and you were 00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:03.000 the one on services they 00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:04.000 wouldn't do anything with the 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:05.000 home the home would still be 00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:06.000 there because the spouse is 00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:07.000 still living and residing in 00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:09.000 the home after that spouse 00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:11.000 passes away then they would put 00:38:11.000 --> 00:38:13.000 a lien on the property to try 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:16.000 to recuperate their money but 00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:19.000 also if here's another scenario 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:21.000 if it was just a single person 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:23.000 living in their home receiving 00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:25.000 care in their home if they 00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:26.000 rose to the level where they 00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000 could no longer safely have care 00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:31.000 in their home and they chose 00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:33.000 to go to a nursing facility 00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:35.000 or an assisted living facility 00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:37.000 then the state would say now 00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:38.000 that's a resource to you you're 00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:40.000 no longer living in that home 00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.000 and you must sell that home and use 00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:44.000 that money to pay for your care 00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:45.000 once that money's gone then 00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:46.000 the state will come and they 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:48.000 will pick up the rest of that 00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:50.000 and pay the rest for you there 00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:53.000 is also different costs for 00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:55.000 different living environments 00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:57.000 if you're an in-home service 00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:60.000 consumer there is a limit of 00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:01.000 one thousand two hundred eighty 00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:04.000 three dollars if the person 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.000 receiving care makes more than 00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:07.000 one thousand two hundred eighty 00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:09.000 three dollars anything above 00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:10.000 that that they make they pay 00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:12.000 towards their care if they 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:14.000 have a spouse residing in the 00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:16.000 home with them it's possible 00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:17.000 to take some of their money 00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:20.000 and divert it to their spouse 00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:21.000 to sustain their living 00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:22.000 environment that they're used 00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:25.000 to living in if they move 00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:26.000 to an adult foster care home 00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:28.000 setting or an assisted living 00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:30.000 or residential care facility 00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:32.000 what happens then is there 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.000 they have to pay room and board 00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:35.000 room and board is six hundred 00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:38.000 and eight dollars so if they 00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:39.000 receive money they have to pay 00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:41.000 the six hundred eight dollars 00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:43.000 room and board they get to keep 00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:44.000 a hundred and seventy five 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:46.000 dollars and then the remaining 00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:48.000 balance is something that 00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.000 we refer to as a liability 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:51.000 payment which is their portion 00:39:51.000 --> 00:39:53.000 that they also will owe to the 00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:54.000 facility and then the state 00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:56.000 comes in and picks up the rest 00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:58.000 of the money to pay for that 00:39:58.000 --> 00:39:61.000 living environment nursing home 00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:04.000 facilities that is the highest 00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:05.000 cost of care that you can 00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:07.000 receive costs between eight and 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:09.000 ten thousand dollars a month 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:11.000 for somebody to reside there 00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:12.000 the state will come in and they 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:14.000 will pay for that but you will 00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:16.000 have to take all the money that 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:19.000 you have coming to you from 00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:21.000 whatever sources you have your 00:40:21.000 --> 00:40:23.000 pension social security and 00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:24.000 you will pay the majority of 00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:26.000 that to the nursing facility 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:28.000 you will keep what we call a 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:29.000 personal incidental fund 00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:31.000 amount of sixty four dollars and 00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:35.000 eleven cents you use that for 00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:36.000 clothing that maybe you 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:38.000 want everything's paid for at 00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:40.000 the nursing facility you have 00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:42.000 a place to live you have food 00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:44.000 you don't have to pay power you don't 00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:45.000 have to pay water everything's paid 00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:47.000 for your medications are there 00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:50.000 they're paid for so typically 00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:52.000 people who live in a nursing 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:54.000 facility environment they have 00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:56.000 pretty high care needs so the 00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:58.000 state comes and they pay the 00:40:58.000 --> 00:40:60.000 rest of that portion maybe you 00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:01.000 only get a thousand dollars 00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:04.000 a month you get to keep sixty 00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:06.000 four eleven you pay the rest 00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:07.000 to the facility the state 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:10.000 pays the remaining balance also 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.000 with the Long-Term Supports 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:14.000 and Services program you 00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:16.000 get the benefit of having the 00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:18.000 Medicaid card your Medicaid 00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:21.000 card helps to pay for doctor's 00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:24.000 visits prescriptions hospital 00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:26.000 stays it's a secondary coverage 00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:27.000 to any other coverage that 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:29.000 you have already so that comes in 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:32.000 and helps pay for that also on 00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:33.000 this program you have access to 00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:36.000 receive -- emergency response 00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:38.000 services like the Life Alert 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:39.000 button that is something that's 00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:41.000 paid for through the program 00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:44.000 if you live in-home you also 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.000 have access to RideLine 00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:48.000 our area but it's a medical 00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:50.000 transport that can take you 00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:52.000 to your medical appointments 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:53.000 you have access to receive 00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:55.000 Meals on Wheels in your home 00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:57.000 environment if you're living 00:41:57.000 --> 00:41:58.000 in-home if you're living 00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:59.000 in a facility you have your 00:41:59.000 --> 00:41:60.000 meals there prepared in 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:02.000 the facility for you that's 00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:04.000 basically what our program 00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:07.000 is about so does anybody have 00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:09.000 any questions about anything 00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:10.000 in the our programs through 00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:13.000 senior and disability services 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:15.000 as you're thinking about those 00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:16.000 I just want to say a couple of 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:18.000 quick things this is my call 00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:20.000 to every one of you sitting in here 00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:21.000 I don't care if you're on the 00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:23.000 younger end of the life course 00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:24.000 or if you're on the older end of the 00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.000 life course conversations are 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:29.000 critical so in my very first 00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:30.000 class on social ties I asked my 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:31.000 students to interview this was 00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:33.000 before your time Michelle I asked my 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:35.000 students to interview an adult 00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:36.000 daughter and an older mother 00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:38.000 separately and they needed to 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:40.000 ask them about what do they have 00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:42.000 in place in terms of the care 00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:45.000 plan and the older mother said 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:47.000 oh I know I'll be taken care of 00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:48.000 did I tell you this already 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:50.000 I know I'll be taken care of 00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:51.000 because my son in law and my 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:52.000 daughter and I were driving in 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.000 Portland my son in law pointed 00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:55.000 to the Burnside bridge and 00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:56.000 said see those people under 00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:60.000 there that won't be you and 00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:02.000 Dr. Manoogian is that enough 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:06.000 I go no and then I -- they 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:08.000 and another dyad interviewed 00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:09.000 an older mother and an adult 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:11.000 daughter the older mother said 00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:13.000 I don't want to be a burden 00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:16.000 so I've already set up my 00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:17.000 situation and and I'm going 00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:19.000 to go into an assisted living 00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:20.000 facility I have it already set 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000 up because I don't want to be 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:24.000 a burden to my children the 00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:25.000 adult daughter said I'm ready 00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:28.000 to care for my mom I'm I'm the 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.000 one so when she needs me but 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:31.000 the mother doesn't want her 00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:32.000 but she's never communicated 00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:34.000 that to her daughter daughter 00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:35.000 doesn't know that and then 00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:37.000 in a third dyad the mother 00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:40.000 says -- I'm gonna -- my 00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:42.000 daughters this daughter -- 00:43:42.000 --> 00:43:43.000 I have four kids this daughter's 00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:45.000 gonna provide care the students 00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:46.000 interviewed that daughter the 00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:47.000 daughter says I'm not providing 00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:49.000 care to my mom I'd be terrible 00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:52.000 at it right so you need to have 00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.000 these conversations so these 00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:57.000 are the topics okay changing 00:43:57.000 --> 00:43:60.000 nature of the relationship 00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:01.000 life course transitions I'm gonna be 00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:03.000 a grandparent there's some tenuous 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:04.000 parts of being a grandparent 00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:06.000 you don't wanna overstep right so you 00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:08.000 need to communicate purpose in 00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:11.000 life identity quality of life 00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:12.000 how do I want to who how do I 00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.000 want to proceed care how are 00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:15.000 the siblings adult siblings 00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:17.000 gonna be involved together 00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:19.000 in supporting parents how are we 00:44:19.000 --> 00:44:21.000 gonna navigate health care how what 00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:22.000 what's going to happen in terms 00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:24.000 of our residential situation 00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:25.000 what happens if we're not 00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:27.000 able to drive what do we have 00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:29.000 in terms of finances my mom 00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:30.000 didn't want to share her finances 00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.000 until we were in the emergency 00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:34.000 room my sister on one side me 00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:35.000 on the other and they wouldn't 00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:36.000 discharge her unless she had 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:39.000 in-home care I said mom you're 00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:40.000 at it now I need to know how 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:43.000 much money we have she sent 00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:44.000 me home within an hour I knew 00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:45.000 because she worked in a bank 00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:46.000 so she had everything plotted 00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:47.000 out but she didn't want to 00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:48.000 share it with me until 00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:50.000 she absolutely had to right 00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:51.000 so we have you have to have 00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:52.000 these conversations what's 00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:54.000 going to happen if you've got 00:44:54.000 --> 00:44:55.000 someone with mild cognitive 00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:57.000 impairment or with dementia or end 00:44:57.000 --> 00:44:60.000 of life decisions it's a gift 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.000 to your children to have these 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:03.000 conversations it's a gift to 00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:04.000 your parents and they're not 00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:06.000 easy conversation but they're 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:08.000 really really important we we 00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:10.000 have a lot of people who come 00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:12.000 to our office and they say 00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:14.000 you know my parent needs this 00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:16.000 type of assistance I want you 00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:17.000 to help them and I want you 00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:18.000 to make them go to an assisted 00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:20.000 living facility because they're 00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:21.000 not safe in their own home they 00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:23.000 just can't be there anymore 00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:24.000 well it's not up to the child 00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:26.000 it's up to the parent where do 00:45:26.000 --> 00:45:28.000 they want to be we we look at 00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:29.000 that we asked them do you want 00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:30.000 to go into assisted living if 00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:32.000 they don't want to we can't 00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:34.000 make them they have the right 00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:35.000 to choose where they want to 00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:37.000 live our job is if they want 00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:39.000 to stay in-home how can we make 00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:40.000 that happen for them and how 00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:43.000 can we make it a safe plan and 00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:44.000 make them be as independent 00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.000 as possible in their home 00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:49.000 environment so we can't go by 00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:51.000 whatever the child wants even 00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:52.000 though they we know what's 00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:53.000 in their best you know they 00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:54.000 want what's best for their 00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:56.000 parent but it's their parent 00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:58.000 their parent's still in charge 00:45:58.000 --> 00:45:60.000 of what they want in life 00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:01.000 we can't take that away from 00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:03.000 them we don't have the power 00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:05.000 to do that people don't know 00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:06.000 that we can't make somebody 00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:07.000 do something they don't want 00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:10.000 to do they're adults I tell 00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:11.000 my cranky aunt who's still 00:46:11.000 --> 00:46:14.000 alive and I say to her you 00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:15.000 know what you have the right 00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:17.000 to make really bad decisions 00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:19.000 yes and I'll inform you as to 00:46:19.000 --> 00:46:21.000 what might be the consequences 00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:23.000 of those decisions but you have 00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:24.000 the right to not use a walker 00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:26.000 because you think you look old 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:28.000 well frankly you are old she's ninety 00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:30.000 right but she won't use a 00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:31.000 walker because she 00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:33.000 old well there's a consequence 00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:35.000 to that right but she has the 00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:37.000 right to decide so I just have 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:38.000 this up here you can look at 00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:39.000 this but do you have any other 00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:41.000 questions I mean Michelle is 00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:42.000 a great resource I can talk 00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:45.000 about context yeah if they 00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:47.000 had a spouse that was a care 00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:49.000 provider and the spouse needed 00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:51.000 to go on vacation maybe and 00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.000 get away for a little while how 00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:54.000 could we get somebody to help 00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:56.000 in that situation to provide 00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:58.000 care while the spouse is gone 00:46:58.000 --> 00:46:61.000 so we do have -- options for 00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:03.000 respite care which would be to 00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:06.000 have that individual go into a 00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:08.000 facility type environment for 00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.000 that two week period so there 00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:15.000 their vacation and have a break 00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:16.000 and do whatever it is they 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:20.000 need to do or another option 00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.000 would be to have -- depending on how 00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.000 much how how many care hours 00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:29.000 you're allotted -- there's 00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:31.000 potential to have caregivers 00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:32.000 come in at times that you need 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:35.000 that assistance -- to help you 00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:36.000 with your activities of daily 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.000 living and they could split 00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:41.000 their ships up to make sure 00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:43.000 that everything gets done -- 00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:45.000 if you have very high needs 00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:47.000 we have a -- something called 00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:48.000 exceptional hours that are 00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:50.000 available that you can request 00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:52.000 from the case manager they 00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:53.000 would do an assessment on you 00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:54.000 and you would talk to them about 00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.000 why it takes longer for you to 00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:58.000 perform certain activities of 00:47:58.000 --> 00:47:60.000 daily living than someone else 00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:02.000 and then we would request 00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:03.000 more hours from the state in 00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:05.000 those specific areas where you 00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:07.000 need more assistance and that 00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:08.000 could potentially increase 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:10.000 your hours to have home care 00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:11.000 workers with you longer in 00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:13.000 your home but typically for 00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:16.000 respite care we do go ahead 00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:17.000 and authorize somebody to 00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:18.000 stay in a nursing facility 00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:20.000 type environment for that time 00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:22.000 period and when you're in that 00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:23.000 type of environment just for a 00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:25.000 two week time period there 00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:27.000 is no cost to the consumer 00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:28.000 themselves which is what we 00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:30.000 call the people that we're taking 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:33.000 care of consumers -- the state 00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:35.000 pays for that if you're on our 00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:36.000 Title XIX -- long term 00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:39.000 care services program there are 00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:40.000 also some wonderful community 00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:42.000 respite programs that are out 00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.000 of pocket or have supports in 00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:45.000 place one in Benton County is 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:47.000 Grace Center I'm a little biased 00:48:47.000 --> 00:48:48.000 full disclosure I'm on the board 00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:49.000 for the Grace Center I believe 00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:51.000 that strongly in that program 00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:53.000 which provides day support 00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:55.000 so you could have bring your 00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:58.000 your maybe you have a husband 00:48:58.000 --> 00:48:61.000 that has Alzheimer's you can 00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:02.000 bring him there for the day 00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:03.000 or half day and then you can 00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:05.000 go have your hair done or go 00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:06.000 hang out with your friend 00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:08.000 go do some activities that you 00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:10.000 want to do the local one in 00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:11.000 Salem that I know about that a 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:12.000 lot of my students have worked 00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:14.000 at is through Center 50+ 00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:16.000 they also have a respite 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:17.000 care program that actually was 00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:18.000 just recently she just left 00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:20.000 that position but she was one 00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:21.000 of our alums was in charge 00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:23.000 of that program and now she's 00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:24.000 working in an agency similar to 00:49:24.000 --> 00:49:26.000 Michelle yeah and if you do if 00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:28.000 you are on our Title XIX 00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:29.000 services Grace Center actually 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:32.000 is an option as well for the 00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:33.000 state to pay for yeah and that's 00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:35.000 a daytime program he wants to 00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:37.000 know how you would get services 00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:39.000 for whatever help you need in 00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:42.000 the area you would call and 00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:44.000 you would speak with the ADRC 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:46.000 in your local area tell them 00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:47.000 the type of assistance that 00:49:47.000 --> 00:49:48.000 you're looking for and they'll 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:49.000 they're gonna tell you what 00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:50.000 options they have available 00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.000 in your area I actually called 00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:55.000 from Ohio where I was living 00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:58.000 to the San -- Santa Clara County 00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.000 and my mom was we were gonna 00:49:59.000 --> 00:49:61.000 need to get some in-home care 00:50:01.000 --> 00:50:03.000 I called them the ADRC there 00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:05.000 there and they helped me line 00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:06.000 up care givers I interviewed 00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:07.000 caregivers for my mom to 00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:09.000 provide some evening care 00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:11.000 giving support for her and that 00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:13.000 was my first stop to do that 00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:14.000 they also helped me get a 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:17.000 Life Alert for her and some other 00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:19.000 things so yeah so the question 00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:21.000 was about the Grace Center for 00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:22.000 adult day services it's located 00:50:22.000 --> 00:50:24.000 in Corvallis on the north 00:50:24.000 --> 00:50:26.000 side of town an assistant you 00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:27.000 can tour there and so you can 00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:28.000 just see what it's like it's 00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:31.000 a very joyful place with art 00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:32.000 activities music I have friends 00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:33.000 that bring come in and play 00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:35.000 music and support it they also 00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:36.000 have a nurse there and they can 00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:38.000 do some showering hygiene stuff 00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:39.000 there too so it's got a lot 00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:41.000 of programs that aren't in every 00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:43.000 single respite care setting 00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:45.000 so I want to thank you all for 00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:46.000 coming thank you Michelle for 00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:50.000 coming from work I appreciate it 00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:51.000 and thank you I know I've 00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:53.000 got some repeaters here 00:50:53.000 --> 00:50:54.000 so thank you very much for 00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:57.000 coming I really appreciate it 00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:61.000 music